Beyond The Stuff

A year ago...

2009-12-20T06:58:00.004-05:00

I was re-reading some old journals, and I came across this entry from December 7 of last year (my dad's birthday). I thought you guys would enjoy it in all its unedited glory. And the last part was IN MY JOURNAL, even though I had no idea yet what was about to unfold in the coming months...eerie:

Dear God,

I'm here at the Charleston Airport, waiting for my flight. It's supposed to leave in a half hour and I'm inspired to write.

Tihs weekend was such a blessing. First, it was magical - the women are all inspiring and...oop - boarding....

I'm back. The women. I was talking about the women. They are all at once, inspiring, engaging, intelligent, delightful. We chatted and talked nonstop, as the "token males" looked on. At one point, [someone] expressed concerns that if she laid bare her darker secrets, would the media backlash, the public rejection even, damage the shared vision? I leapt to my feet and imagined that The Howard Stern and Rush Limbaughs of the world were judging and criticizing us from Landon and Leslie's stone hearth. "Yeah? She did that. And she's still here to talk about it. She had the balls to share it with the world in the hopes that it might encourage someone else somewhere. I lived in my car. I was homeless for four months. I'm a f***ing drunk who's been graced with the willingness to be sober. But yeah, I'm a drunk. I go to AA. So what? You got something to say? So say it, you big-nosed bastard. What? What do you have to say? What? BRING IT. WHAT???"

They were pissing themselves, laughing. We had so many moments like that. Like yesterday morning, when I was out at 7 am with Leslie and Mary showing them my Dreambodies plyometric exercises. And as we did our jumping jacks, Leslie's huge black dog ws sniffing my crotch, then I suppose, deciding I was worthy of his affections, leapt up on his hind legs, his big, fat, heavy paws on my shoulders, as if saying "Dance with me!"

It was glorious. Running this morning, as the fog rolled in across th emarsh and the egrets too to the air, I thanked God for blessing me with understanding of my purpose - that it so aligns with my desires and my joy center. Then, as I drove along Route 17, toward the airport, the tears came. Gratitude washed over me and spilled down my cheeks as I said over and over, "Thank God. Thank God."

The day my father died
I swore I heard him say
Beloved, don't you cry for I'm not far away
Just keep your honesty
The truth shall set you free
And follow all your dreams
Of who you long to be
And if you believe in yourself
Then you don't need anything
or anybody else
And if you believe in your dreams
Then your dreams will come true
So believe in yourself
As I believe in you
And now I'm older
Though still his baby girl
And what he told that child
Was a secret of this world
There is magic in believing
It's the pathway to achieving
So wish on that star
Believe in who you are
Because it all begins with you
Cause if you believe in yourself
Then you don't need anything
or anybody else
And if you believe in your dreams
Then your dreams will come true
So believe in yourself
As I believe in you
Yes, believe in yourself
As I believe in you.

I didn't even realize I had written the final pieces of that song right after that weekend. Pretty powerful weekend it was, to bring that song back into my life and into the world. And now look at all it has become. So, thank you guys, for all that you have been in my life. Thank you guys, for all that you continue to be - shining examples of the power of what we can all become ... if we just believe.

Much love to you all, and Happy Holidays.

Last Minute Change

2009-03-04T08:23:00.000-05:00

I hosted our SPD Parent Support Group last night. On Friday night, the speaker who was booked called me to cancel due to a family emergency. I was booked all day Saturday and Sunday and didn’t think most people wanted to do business then anyway, so I decided to wait until Monday morning.

I called the local Whole Foods and local Chamberlains and didn’t have any luck there. I even called the corporate office at Chamberlains and didn’t have any luck. I contacted a neighbor who is a nutritionist but she wasn’t available. So I finally decided whatever was supposed to be would be, and that if I found a speaker that came knocking, then I’d book them. So finally, my mom called and told me about Ken Blake, the owner of Curves. I called him and he accepted!

What a treat! Ken was such a delight and so dead on with his message. Although we had a small crowd, he gave the exact message that each of us needed. He was able to hear all of the stories of struggles that each of us have endured with finding the right therapies for our kids and add some advice and lots of empathy and encouragement for all of us.

What an amazing night. It wasn’t what I had expected but it was exactly what was perfect. The right speaker gave the right message for the people who were there, and anyone else wouldn’t have been as perfect as the substitute who came.

So, I’ve learned, when things don’t go your way, when someone cancels on you or changes the plans and you weren’t expecting it, I’ve learned just to go with the flow and know that it’s exactly as it should be.

Perfect!

My Snow Day - by Liimu

2009-03-02T15:55:00.003-05:00

Snow is still falling here in PA, and I was one of about a half dozen people who went to the gym, anyway. I mean, really - why not? If I were still binge eating, I would certainly have trekked out to get to the Wawa or Whole Foods to get my stash. Why wouldn't I trek the 10 minutes over to the gym, especially since they were kind enough to have people manning the Kid Care?

I'm so glad I did, too, because it was an awesome workout. I ran 10 minutes at 5.0 mph, then went on to do legs. First, I did Olympic squats, and did 6 reps with 125 pounds (including the weight of the bar). A personal record. Then, on to another personal record - I did a set of 6 reps leg presses at 430 pounds!!! 500 pounds, here we come! Then, my hip was hurting me so my Smith squats were pretty lame (we don't have a hack squat machine at our gym) and then on to burning leg extensions and curls, and then calf raises. No step ups, thank GOD. Then, I decided to take advantage of the 2-hour babysitting and run for a half hour, despite the fact that my legs were burning. So, that was a good workout!

The girls are all home from school and I'm here listening to my two-year old snore, trying to catch up on blog posts and my novel. I haven't written in days. Plus, I have to edit and post the latest radio show for Beyond the Stuff. Thank goodness I'm not working right now! Although I did have a conversation about some potential work coming up in a week or two, so that means JAMAICA IN APRIL!! WOO HOO!

So, that's how I spent my snow day. How about you?

A Week's Worth of Miscellaneous Stuff - by Robin Gorman Newman

2009-02-26T22:09:00.009-05:00

I have to say I don't know what to specifically blog about this week....so maybe I'll just share my week wiht you.

I've been multi-tasking big time, a lot with unexpected personal matters.

My son turned 6 this week...and that was exciting. At the same time, some challenges have arisen with him that have occupied much of my thoughts, concern and time. (I prefer not to elaborate at this time...but I know that things will ultimately work themselves out.)

His party is Sunday, and I'm totally psyched for that. He'll love it. We already had one earlier this week for him in the classroom, and it was sweet.

It's that time of the month for me... if you gals out there know what I mean...so I'm not feeling the greatest.

My senior dad went to his cardiologist this week, and was put on two new medications, one of which he isn't overly keen on taking, despite saying on a daily basis that he doesn't feel great.

I'm beginning a new eating/exercise regime. I refuse to say diet, but rather a lifestyle change. It's been two days. I've done "ok" with it thus far. It's been a struggle. I'm truly working on altering my outlook on food. I'd love to view it as sustenance and nourishment versus a "need." I feel I'll get there, and that would be an amazing accomplishment.

Professionally, I'm moving forward with the t-shirts, etc. for MotherhoodLater.com. The designs are still not fully finalized, but I'm hoping in the next 1-2 weeks, I'll be able to post a Shop page on the site.

Yesterday, a friend came over, and our goal was to work together in preparing for teleclasses we'd both like to offer potentially through freeconference.com. While we spent time on that, we wound up ultimately rearranging some furniture in my house. How that happened exactly, I don't know. She is a very aesthetic person, and likes doing this for people, so she brought it up. I just went with the flow of her ideas, and it truly felt like some new positive energy opened up in my home. We switched the direction of the kitchen table, for one, and I'm really liking it. Who knew?! The whole kitchen looks different, and for the better. It's SO great to be open to change. I didn't even know I was looking for change in that way, but it found me.

Today I had a meeting with a Reverend at a local church, and there is a lovely room that would be available for a workshop series I'm planning for the NY chapter of MotherhoodLater.com. So, I'm psyched about that. I've been seeking out a venue for some time now. Today it clicked.

This afternoon I got yelled at by a male parking meter attendant for supposedly extending my car over the walkway in a parking lot. Boy....he's got a lot of anger in him. You'd think I commited a crime. Some people in this world are just not happy and they need to vent at strangers. At first I was angry at him, but then I felt empathy.

Did I tell you I got a call from the supermarket where we ordered Seth's cake? Four days before the party, they tell me they can't get a Power Ranger cake...the one Seth specially picked out. So...what to do...switch to Spiderman? Call another store? (We switched to Spiderman.)

Oh....and our contractor for our upcoming basement project advised us this week that there is a problem with the architectural plans, and things have to be redone. And, our project is now delayed until May...was supposed to start in February.

Today I attended an event called WHO DO YOU KNOW LUNCHEON. It's something I launched a year ago with a friend, and we're still going strong. We meet once/month to share our professional pursuits and inspire, empower and advise each other. It's been helpful and very supportive, kinda like what I feel from the BTS gals. It's so great to be in the company of those who you feel "have your back."

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with a friend from a playwrights group that I also launched in my town. I aspire to write a play one day...it's on my TO DO list....though I haven't attended the group in some time now. I've just had other priorites, but my love of theatre remains.

I'm glad the weekend is coming up. I need to chill a bit, if possible. This was quite the all-consuming week on many levels.

But, you know what? I give it up to the universe. I am happy about those projects that are moving forward, and I'm grateful as some doors open. As for the "bumps" along the way with some items, they'll take care of themselves in time. I trust in that.

The Path To Freedom! By Kelly K. Brown

2009-02-26T15:02:00.006-05:00

Me at the Seattle Space Needle on My Own Path to Freedom!

This week started with me living what could have been seen, felt and experienced by me as a ‘painful’ experience. And yet, because I CHOSE to stay ‘present in the very moment’ of the circumstance, I handled the experience in the most effective way possible---by only seeing everyone involved through the eyes of love---a way of living I’ve been practicing as a part of my ‘in the moment’ existence for over a year!

You can imagine how interesting it then was to me, when this exact same topic came up again and again throughout my week.

People, loved ones, friends… many were experiencing feelings, thoughts and the emotion of ‘pain’ about current life events… and in chatting sometimes they experienced it about past events. Past or present, all pain can be avoided by remembering and implementing the practice of one simple action.

Choosing to stay ‘present in the moment’. (Staying ‘present in the moment’ always brings FREEDOM when we choose it!)

Having sufferered the pain of what I call ‘going around the mountain’ again and again over a particular situation or what another person, does, says, did or didn’t do, should have done or I expected them to do---Always, always equals PAIN FOR ME (AND YOU!)

This topic can ‘appear’ complex, so let me explain more carefully.

When we are NOT choosing to live ‘in the moment’, and when things then don’t go OUR way, “You know, the way we think things should go”, or when people don’t behave the way WE think is right or they SHOULD… we experience PAIN!

It is in THAT moment when our thoughts begin to tell us made up stories with the attached history of old experiences, old programming and old emotions… we LOSE our freedom and begin creating personal PAIN. Yes, WE create our own pain---the other person has nothing to do with it whatsoever. (You may want to re-read that last line, as for some this concept could be difficult to understand at first.)

We tell ourselves (and truly want to believe) that all our angst and upset is about another, their actions, or a certain circumstance, but the TRUTH is that it is OUR CHOICE of thoughts in this moment, OUR disappointment about an unmet expectation and our anger that things SHOULDN’T be this way that brings us into immediate pain.

It is an interesting experience to feel how in ONE moment we can change our thoughts AND then instantly and literally FEEL better. We can experience unbelievable freedom when we wisely monitor and choose our thoughts and begin focusing on what we now WANT, instead of what we didn’t like about what just happened or occurred!

When living ‘present in the moment’ I'm able to tell myself NO STORY whatsoever about what is happening.

To put it in plain terms, I DEPERSONALIZE every happening to an understanding of the situation or circumstance as being just a thing ‘that is!’.

No one is wrong
No one is right
No one is at fault… No Story! A happening just occurred---That’s it!

This is TRUTH: Regardless of what the other is thinking, not thinking or how they feel, what their inner perspective is or was, what story they are telling in their mind… it is theirs! It is NOT about us; in fact, we can never really know what another person is thinking anyway (even though we often believe and state that we do).

By living in a state of allowing through conscious awareness, we can surrender to the situation at hand. (Read: I can choose to accept the situation just as it is.)

The gift of awareness is that in the moment we are aware, we can CHOOSE not to tell ourselves a story of inner thoughts from OLD, OUTDATED life experiences. In this moment, what is happening is what is happening NOW and has nothing to do with anything anyone ever said or ever did in the past. (That would be adding in a STORY).

And this is where a common struggle comes in… when we are not living in conscious awareness, when someone doesn’t behave as we think they SHOULD, our thoughts start telling us OLD stories as if they were the ‘present moment TRUTH. Thoughts like:

I can’t believe they did THAT to me! Why didn’t I see this coming?
I should have known better than to trust them, they always…
This is what I get for being such a nice gal/guy.
They did that on purpose just to hurt me---just like everyone else does...
I knew this would happen, this is what ALWAYS happens to me
They make me so angry, they should have... (or shouldn't have...)

Blah, Blah, Blah…

Law of Attraction is extraordinarily fair! It attracts more of what you focus on, so in this example by focusing and thinking ALL those negative thoughts… you get MORE negative thoughts… and you wake up 5 hours later to realize you’ve been obsessing about this for FIVE STRAIGHT HOURS! Wasting your very life with FIVE hours of unproductive, pain-inducing, negative thinking… and worse, these type of thoughts never serve you or the greater good (nothing productive can come from these type of thoughts), they just bring pain in the form of hurt feelings, anger, frustration, irritation and more. (And when not careful… these thoughts can become rather addictive… think like a jilted lover for a sec---one can truly become obsessed in the mire of negative thinking.)

This is where a true understanding of life can create some fun however. If you can stay present in the moment, and CHOOSE NOT to tell any stories in your thoughts, you will find you have chosen to become the OBSERVER of your thoughts.

In that moment, you have just realized the very truth of life that most people never, ever get! YOU are the ‘thinker of your thoughts’, you are NOT your thoughts! That means YOU get to control what you think---you do have a choice! So, you might choose to entertain better feeling thoughts like:

What is IS what is.
This is not exactly what I was expecting.
I have no idea why they behaved this way or why this happened.
I will tell myself no ‘old, habitual, programmed thoughts’ on this topic.
I choose to believe this is about where they are in their life, and not about me.
Maybe they were scared, or worried, or under stress: who knows?
This isn’t about me—people act the way they do for their very OWN reasons.
It could be anything really. I can’t know what they were thinking.
I’ll probably never know so I won’t waste my present moment time:

1) worrying about what the reason was or wasn’t
2) being upset or anguishing through all the negative possibilities, or
3) finding ways to make me right and them wrong so I can feel better in this situation
4) figuring out ways and endless points of view to place blame on them.

Instead, I can choose to:

Live this experience exactly as it is with NO expectation of a different, better or worse outcome, or a ‘how it should have been’ because that time is NOW gone and in the past and it cannot be re-lived, so why would I try to re-live it over and over and over again in the thoughts of my mind? Now is all we’ve got, and we can CHOOSE our thoughts and focus in this NOW moment… and the next, and the next, etc.

We can then start thinking thoughts like:

1) I will choose to love myself and this other person exactly as we are with no judgment toward either of us in this situation. I can choose be the ‘observer’ of my thoughts, and just see what can be learned from this current situation.

2) I will accept that ‘what is IS what is', and then immediately make the choice to now focus ONLY on what I want to have, be, create or experience in my life.

3) I will focus and envision all my future interactions with this other person going exactly the way I’d like with love and joy for all involved.

What you focus on expands and you WILL begin to attract and then experience brand new and much better outcomes as soon as you fill your mind with brand new thoughts, dreams, ideas and feelings of what you now want.

That’s how you do it… Every single time, in every single circumstance, in every life experience!

1) Get and/or stay present in the moment.
2) See what is, and accept that what is IS what is.
3) Note the contrast WITHOUT adding any STORY---no story, no emotion, no personalizing, no old programming thoughts.
4) Begin immediately to ask for and focus on what you NOW want to see in this situation or situations like it.
5) Continue! Focus on those good ideas until you think of something else you want, and then focus on that!

Sounds difficult… and I assure you practice will make it easier and easier and easier--- the more you stay present in the moment and are aware of your thoughts, the easier it gets! And best of all, the REWARD for all your practice is the Path of Freedom: PEACE, JOY, HAPPINESS and EXTRAORDINARY LOVE FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS.

Choose YOUR Path of Freedom today. Start simply by just becoming aware of your thoughts. Listen to what your thoughts are! As time goes on, become the Observer! Start to notice your positive and negative thoughts and begin to choose only the positive thoughts you now want to think and focus on. From there, it’s nothing more than practice… and we are always practicing something aren’t we?

To YOUR Path of Freedom!

Kelly

Shaking Loose and Finding Your Way by Mary

2009-02-25T07:21:00.000-05:00

This is me.. happily promoting.. on the phone.. in my office!

There comes a time in everyone’s life, when they break with tradition and go their own way. Sometimes it surprises people or hurts them because they feel that you’re leaving THEM and the choices they’ve made for their lives.

Blazing your own trail isn’t always easy. Trying to find your way can be a challenge especially when you have a lot of close family and friends always happy to advise you on your path.

I’m a firm believer though that all of us have a truth that is completely unique to us, just as unique as our fingerprints, and it might not always be right for everyone, or in fact for ANYONE else, but for us, it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

So, I’ve been doing a bit of this in my life, and some of it is a bit rough around the edges, but slowly, people are understanding that I’m not ruffling feathers to get attention or to just create a scene, but that I’m genuinely on a path and can’t be persuaded by them to alter my course. I’m dead set on being true to my own path, whether they understand or agree with it or not.

And what’s happening is the most unbelievable. When you get very clear about where you’re headed, and get rid of the Shoulda, woulda, couldas, then the challenges disappear and the path appears.

I’m finding that the path is still a bit winding, but there is no mistake, it’s putting one foot in front of another, like rocks that appear in a creek to get across.. I take a step into the unknown, and the next step mysteriously appears.

Once I got clear on being a PROMOTER, and a damn good one at that(!) then all sorts of creative ideas started flooding my head, and I got ultra productive and people and opportunities found me. I didn’t have to look very far. I basically showed up and the opportunities found me! I’m getting help from all directions and I feel like God’s taking me on a path and I’m just along for the ride. It’s so funny, because I’m back to doing the same sorts of things I did years ago, but now, I’m so much more balanced and have experience in so many other areas as well.

I have no idea how this ride will end up, but it’s left the business of “speakers”and has found it’s way into performers.. and into the TV world,.. and into entertainment! This is where I wanted to be all along, but didn’t know how to get there. There is also the dream of getting back to hosting a show, but now I see how I’m a woman of many talents and abilities and have tremendous energy and am able to accomplish a heck of a lot when I am focused and clear about my direction. I’ve become very selective of who I spend time with, protective about my time, and am using every waking hour to be productive. I’ve accomplished more in the past two weeks than I have in the past few years when I was trying to go straight for my dream of hosting a show with celebrity causes. Now that I am back to being “a promoter” which is what I am naturally, and instinctively, I’m unstoppable!!! . I’ve even lost 10 lbs that has just naturally fallen off because I’m taking such great care of myself- mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. As a result of that, I’m dressing up more, and getting more attention, and you know what? I’m eating it up! I’m just enjoying people who are enjoying me..and mirroring back to them the gratitude they’re showing me. I used to shrink away from attention for being attractive but now I embrace it and have fun with it! This new sense of myself has even made me more bold, creative, centered and structured with my coaching, and as a result, my clients are more empowered and moving forward more quickly!

When I look back over the course of my curvy path I took to get here, I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t change the struggles and the difficulties I endured trying to “find” myself. I tried and failed so many times, but I never gave up, and ultimately, I got pretty good at some of the stuff I failed at numerous times. Now, I can step up to a microphone and wing it, step in front of a camera and speak extemporaneously, write a speech within minutes, write a column or article or conduct a celebrity interview with ease, clean a house without stopping, cook a meal that impresses without burning it, sit down and do homework without fretting or screaming, do laundry without dreading it, have a meeting with a bunch of teachers over sensitive topics without stressing, sit down with the accountant without falling asleep, and I can have some ice cream or some sweet and not have to eat the whole thing.

I guess I finally got “Beyond my Stuff”; the stuff that held me back for so long. The stuff I knew about myself, or the stuff I didn’t know, and even the relationships that got in the way of me being effective. I finally found my personal power, and the acceptance for myself and have finally gotten to the point where I actually respect myself for the hard work I’ve put in and for the things I’ve learned and accomplished. I’ve learned how to say no. I’ve learned to disagree. I’ve learned I don’t need anyone’s else approval, I’ve stopped the constant socializing, and I’ve learned to limit my exposure to people and ideas that don’t influence me in the way I want to be influenced. And I’ve learned I’m powerful. I’m not just a “big personality with big dreams”.. I’m a solid person, with solid work experience, with great contacts, with excellent ideas, and with an amazing work ethic!

Now, I know I’m worth my success and now I gotta go get it. No one is going to hand it to me, I have to step up, set goals and go get it! And now, I will get to where I want to go, because I finally “GOT”, that it’s not the destination that matters, and I had to take that long and winding road to learn all of the things that I needed to know to get me to where I’ll ultimately go. This is what matters. It’s the time that an individual needs to grow and mature and blossom. It’s hard work, but when you arrive, you look and feel great!

Thanks to my “gals” at BTS, who have been an incredibly important piece of my puzzle.. of helping me see myself for who I am, for accepting me even when I wasn’t so in sync with myself or with others, and for telling me that I was on the right path and kept cheering me to push through to find my way.

So now that I’m here, I won’t stop, because this new place feels so good. It feels right and now I can sit in my office with complete acceptance, finish my projects and generate more, because I’m not “shrinking” any more. Here is my favorite quote that I have always loved, and am finally living!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.Your playing small doesn't serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so thatother people won't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine, as children do.We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously giveother people permission to do the same.As we're liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others.~by Marianne WilliamsonA Return to Love: Reflections On The Principles of A Course In Miracles,p. 165, HarperCollins, 1992

When Bad Stuff Happens...Make it GOOD - by Liimu

2009-02-23T09:15:00.000-05:00

I want to share with you guys something really wonderful that happened this week. So, I mentioned a few days ago how devastated I was by the fact that this writing workshop I had been looking forward to for months was cancelled. The poor author who was planning to facilitate had some serious health stuff she has to tend to this weekend. Not only can I not fault her for having to postpone/cancel the workshop, I'm seriously worried for her and saying all the prayers I can say.

That being said, I was absolutely devastated. Did I mention I was devastated? In my mind, I had built this workshop up to be the ultimate turning point, the breakout moment for me as an author. The facilitator would help me with my writing, I would get her all excited about working out and fitness and she and I would be come BFFs and skip off into the sunset together into Bestselling Authorland.

So, when the workshop was cancelled, on some level, at least for a moment, I felt like that dream of mine had been cancelled. For just a moment, I felt like I was being relegated back to the way, way back seat of my father's station wagon, when I had been promised that I'd get to sit in the front! Wahhh...(have any of you heard any of these Fred videos on YouTube? Sorry, I digress.)

Anyhoo, after a little bit of boo hoo-ing, and some warm loving hugs from my very sympathetic husband and children, I ... how shall I put it? GOT OVER IT. And the next morning, I woke up with a fire in my belly about writing, and a keen awareness that the only thing standing in the way of my happy skip off into the sunsets of Bestselling Authorland was my own two hands. If I'd put them to good use, a skipping I would go. I sat down on my couch and got to work on the outline for the novel. And I finished it! And then, later that day, I wrote 2500 words toward the first draft, and made an accountability agreement with a dear friend to write 2000 words every day (except on the weekends, when I will write 500 words a day).

Something has changed. I have read about other authors saying how the characters come to life and the novel pulls at you, begging, even insisting that you write it. It nearly writes itself. This is how it feels! I never thought I would feel that way, but I also never felt like I would be able to relate to runners who say that after a certain point, they feel like they could run forever. HAH! I've felt that, too!

Can I say it? I AM A WRITER! Now on to finishing this draft and getting it into the hands of a publisher, so I can finally realize my destiny of becoming a BESTSELLING AUTHOR!

Mommy Meltdown -- by Robin Gorman Newman

2009-02-20T19:37:00.002-05:00

I had a total mom meltdown yesterday.

I feel like I'm 48 going on 8.

My son, Seth, had a playdate here. It was supposed to be at a friend's house, but plans got changed last minute, and they wound up at our house. It was the second playdate with this particular friend, and I wanted to be a good host. This was a drop-off, and the mom was going to hang with me a bit when she came to pick her up after two hours.

I have to confess. Playdates here are often not fun for me. On one level, I love seeing kids playing happily and creatively. On another level, when it becomes a "playdate gone wild," I ultimately crack. Not during the playdate, but afterwards, when I have to do battle with my son to do clean-up. That's when "mommy maid" emerges and I get completely fed up. And, yesterday, I really lost it.

We are planning to gut our basement in the few months and redo the whole thing, complete with a play room area, etc. But, until then, our living room (we don't have a den), has taken on a life of its own with Seth's many toys piled up in nooks 'n crannies. I wouldn't mind so much, except that many have teeny tiny pieces which are in a huge disaray, so they basically look like a pile of junk, and Seth treats them that way.

On top of it, in the last week, he's lost three things. A toy spy kit. Belt. And stuffed musical dog we gave him for Valentine's Day. Amazingly we did find them all....but I'm tired of playing scavenger hunt for his things.

I've broached the subject of "patience" with members of motherhoodlater.com at get togethers we've had. I truly feel I have less patience as a 40 something mom. I told my husband when he came home from work yesterday that I "need to get out of here!!" And, I meant it...but it's easier said than done. I could have jumped on a plane that moment....quickly packed a bag.....and flown off to...I don't know where...but someplace where I could just be Robin and put aside my mommy role temporarily.

Maybe I'm having a mid life crisis? Is this what they're like? I know I'm perimenopausal. With hormones in fluctuation, that's bound to affect one's moods. I get that. So, is that what this is? Or maybe it was just a particularly challenging playdate and I'll get over it? I am entitled to have these moments.I was speaking with a close friend on the phone today who said that she's been in a funk of late...and it's not like her to say that. She's one of the most upbeat people I know.Could it be Mercury Retrograde perhaps? Some kind of misalignment with the stars? Hmmmm....something in the air?

Today I felt somewhat better. In my fit of fury last night, Seth and I dumped some of this toys...three garbage bags full...and that was therapeutic for me....and good for him as well. Toy clutter leads to a total lack of appreciation, and he can't focus or even decide what to play with.

This afternoon, we went to a playspace with two other mom friends and their sons. I didn't love it....the music was blaring.....it was pricey for what it was.....and the seating wasn't comfortable or so readily available. But, Seth had fun. In the end, that's what counts.

It does get to be hard sometimes as a mom compromising your own comfort, etc. for the sake of your child. I fully realize that this is what moms do...but it doesn't mean it's easy. We just rise to the occasion.

Monday, Seth will be back in school (he was off this whole week), and I'll be in his classroom. I was invited to make an appearance as an author and to share my experiences writing books. I'm looking forwad to that. It reminds me of how at a very young age, I aspired to be a writer, and would actually create my own kids books, complete with illustrations. I plan to bring in some as a show 'n tell. And, then I'm hosting a little party in his classroom since his 6th birthday is Tuesday.

Time flies. Six already. Wow! And, as my friend reminded me today after I shared my exasperating playdate experience, he won't be little forever. And, the day will come before I blink my eyes, where he's just going out with his friends, with no mommy-in-tow.....and I might then miss these mommy 'n me outings.

Time will tell.

A NEW and Timely Perspective About Money! by Kelly K. Brown

2009-02-19T12:24:00.011-05:00

Yes, I do believe Money CAN and DOES Grow On Trees!

I spent quite a bit of time pondering about money the other day. A dear friend from a mastermind group gave me a cd about money and in listening to it, many thoughts about money started going though my mind.

One of the FIRST things I thought about was a memory of how much I absolutely, and without reservation LOVED money as a child. I remember holding it (coins back then) and liking how it sounded when I’d take them out of my jar and ‘clink, clink, clink’ drop them back in! I loved to count it, I loved to have it, and I loved to see it… I clearly remember having a wonderful relationship with money---it felt good to me---I felt good having it!

And then I remembered something else… I remembered how my family started making fun of me for loving money! They would make side (snide?) comments about me liking my money so much, and then came all those ill-informed ideas that money is the root of all evil conversations (yes they misquoted that phrase)… money isn’t everything, money doesn’t grow on trees---and I clearly remember FEELING bad because I loved my money! I remember thinking I had to PRETEND I didn’t love money, that to be accepted in my family, I had to HIDE that I loved my money! In essence they made fun of me for loving money!

Hmmmmmm… Can you relate to this on any level? How did you as a child instinctively FEEL about money? How do you REALLY FEEL now about money today? What did your family say about money? Do you ever take the time to LOOK at your money or do you just spend it without even thinking about it at all?

Extremely well versed in the Law of Attraction, I clearly know how very important our FEELINGS are, as well as our words and thoughts about what we are creating and thereby attracting into our world---into our reality.

So, in light of these memories I forgot LONG AGO, I took the time and made the effort to go back to other 'money is bad' memories and start ‘cleaning up’ that ‘old programming’ from my past that no longer serves me and decided to create some NEW memories and thoughts about money that WILL serve me in attracting the vast abundance I intend to have!

I want to share with you that in doing this Money Exercise, I had the absolute BEST TIME EVER! What started as a clearing of old feelings, thoughts and patterns of belief about money became an opportunity for me to again think about and express my unending LOVE to the universe where I’m so very fortunate to live.

As I started looking at the money (starting with a few suggestions from the cd), I started thinking A LOT about money---but NOT in the way you might imagine!

I started thinking about how money blesses every hand that touches it!

It’s true! As I looked at my $1 bill, I started to imagine all the people’s lives this money had touched… what they may have spent it on, what they received in exchange for sending it back out into circulation, and the joy they may have felt in the spending of it---which ended with how joyous I was to now be in possession of this ONE WONDROUS DOLLAR that may have touched and blessed millions of people and possibly gone all over the world and back to rest with me!

I started to remember that money ALWAYS gives a gift to me (and YOU) when we spend it because we always get something wonderful when we exchange it for something else. And it doesn’t matter what we spend it on… we always get something wonderful in return!

In my life of rental properties, handymen, rents received, mortgages paid, groceries purchased and trash taken to the street, purchasing everything from gas to gum and paying taxes, I completely FORGOT about the incredible wonder of money when viewed in that context!

I can already hear some of the naysayers who are thinking about when they pay for a car repair, property taxes, a fine or a fee that they are not receiving a wonderful blessing in exchange for their money, but I beg to differ.

Do you realize (remember) even when you pay taxes, fees or fines what it is you ARE ‘getting’? You are getting firemen, policemen, a military, a government that provides many benefits and safety for not only us, but many benefits for our entire world?

Do you remember that every time you spend money you are blessing this business owner and that business owner who in turn feeds their family and spends their money on the goods and services of another business or person that is now blessed by the never ending FLOW OF MONEY? And it NEVER ends! The blessings never, ever end until we forget that this is the ultimate purpose of money…to bless ourselves AND others!

In China I saw many examples of people blessing their money through various forms of worship!

Can you see how it is also just as wonderful to SAVE your money; to put some away for a special occasion, a new car, a vacation, or for a rainy day? It’s YOUR money and there is no right or wrong in it! You can love your money any way you want and it is perfectly okay----unless you subscribe to other people’s outdated and completely misinformed ideas, rules and regulations about money!

This is the point where my journey took an incredible turn again toward LOVE!

As I was having all these wonderful old memories about my money, and was ‘in the moment’ creating wonderful, joyous new feelings about all the blessings I receive when I put my money into the flow of the universe, I had a brand new incredible thought!

Out-of-the blue, and directly from my inner guidance, I had a new thought about how I could now (in my newly acquired state of love for money) CHOOSE to bless every single dollar as it leaves me to be a ‘double blessing’ for the next person who receives it.

My heart was thumping and my pulse was racing as I visualized what an incredible gift it will be to mail out all my bills, my mortgages, my service bills and literally send a blessing that the very person who next receives those monies is blessed (by my money now in THEIR hands) going TWICE as far as it did for me!

Maybe they will by chance find a special ½ price sale the day they go to spend this blessed money, or maybe they will receive a discount or a coupon that makes their money go twice as far as it would normally go. Maybe the money will just be multiplied in their care!

You see, everything in life is LITERALLY about perspective and it is the same with money!

WHAT IS YOUR PERSPECTIVE about having money, giving money, receiving money, spending money, etc.? Your perspective about everything is controlled completely BY YOU and you can change your perspective at any time you CHOOSE to create and believe new thoughts. What anyone (or everyone) else says, said, believes or thinks makes absolutely no difference---YOU get to decide what YOU think about money for YOU!

And what you think about money makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE when you are wanting to attract more of it into YOUR life experience!

Today I challenge you to take a little time and really THINK about money… look at it, touch it, hold it! What are your thoughts about it? What would you LIKE to think about it? Do you love it? Would you like to love it? Do you think it is good or evil? Do you think you will never have enough of it or that you are abundantly blessed? Examine your thoughts, beliefs and perspectives and then purposely CHOOSE new and BETTER ideas that resonate with YOU for your best well-being.

Then, when you really ‘feel’ the wondrous joy that YOUR money truly is (regardless of how much you do or don’t have), join me in blessing all the money you have and all the money you spend to be a double blessing to those who will receive it from you—no matter who they are or where they live. Take a moment or two and actually IMAGINE the love and joy you’ve spread as each person (even in this economic time) enjoys a new abundance from your newly beloved, and now blessed money!

With extraordinary love for YOU and your MONEY!

Kelly

Going Back to Stuff… by Mary

2009-02-18T08:54:00.000-05:00

I finally admitted it a few weeks ago. I knew it all along. I tried to stuff it down deep and bury it and learn all sorts of other things. I took classes, certifications, studied, taught, coached, owned businesses and ran as far as possible from it… but it’s back… because I finally realized.. after 15 solid years of trying NOT to do it.. but doing it all along.. the simple truth is.. is that I’m … I’m … I’m a promoter.

Yep! I’m a sales person!

OK! Before you run the other way … I’ll explain!!! It’s actually a good thing to be a natural promoter. And I’m learning how GREAT it is to have a skill like this! Because as it turns out now.. I’m able to help a TON of people!

My first job out of college was an administrative job which I was not suited for and horrible at. I was a secretary on Capital Hill. All I wanted to do was to hang out and meet the celebrities who would eye me across the room during big Judiciary meetings but would ultimately be chased down by the politicians who were more important than some cute 20 something young girl who just loved the excitement of it all. I was the one who would type up letters and my eyes would miss 2 or 3 sentences and the letters wouldn’t end up making any sense. The Attorney on Staff, Beverly, was very gracious and never made me feel bad, but I just never felt like I quite cut it and I ultimately quit a few weeks before the Senator I worked for retired.

Then, I landed the job that would ultimately change the direction of my life..booking celebrity speakers through Keppler Speakers in DC. I loved that job, loved the people I worked with and did it well for 7 years. I came up from nothing and ended up making a name for myself, jamming on the phones every day to colleges all over the US.

My goal was simple. Find out WHO the person was, and coach them to find it.. to do it or to achieve it! And oh, yah, by the way.. book some speakers with them.. which I always did. I truly loved the people I met and am STILL friends with some of them to this very day. One guy I spoke with was the brother of one of my clients. He’s now a big wig with the Major Baseball Leagues in London. Clive Russell is still a good buddy.. and that’s from about 16-17 years ago!

I finally decided to get out of sales when I moved to NC and started a PR business. Little did I realize, that EVERYTHING is sales, and everything NEEDS to be sold. From the napkins you eat with to the clothes you wear, someone is using their talent to show it, demonstrate it and present it to the right people. It’s all about the connections.

So, I’ve gone BACK to my roots, of selling, and I feel so blessed that I can go BACK to such a fun career as booking entertainment. Oh, I”ll still coach and speak and do marketing consulting, but I’ll be promoting and selling and helping whoever I can during this time where everyone seems to need an extra push to get out there and let their services be known!

I’m finding now that it’s like getting back in some old jeans that fit just right, or an old shoe that your feet just slides in comfortably. I’m able to see the GOOD and the HIP parts of whoever I meet and can shine the light on them in a fun way so everyone enjoys it. If it’s not a fit for someone else.. no problem.. “have a great day and we’ll catch up again later”. But if it is, then I’ll make sure they’re incredibly happy with their choice!

Going back… it’s not so bad. I’ve had some great experiences in between.. on TV, with PR, with branding, coaching, training, management and with entrepreneurship. But I’ve never quite felt like it fit like a glove. I had to work at it a little, and had to gear up and practice and learn. Not with sales. Not with promotion. It came as natural as any instinct can.

So, I’m back. I’m not boxing myself into just speakers or performers. My skills are here to help whoever needs it and who I can really serve … so I can make us both money.

Going back to stuff from the past. Not always a bad thing… and sometimes its just the EXACT right thing.. that you need .. to move ahead!

Serendipitous Stuff - by Liimu

2009-02-16T16:04:00.002-05:00

I'm not a regular horoscope checker, but I couldn't help but smile when I stumbled across today's horoscope:

Today could pan out well for you, or it could pan out not so well for you. The outcome depends on the way you chose to react to the day's news. The best way to ensure that things go brightly is to stay positive. Visualize the way you want things to go down and do whatever you can to make them manifest that way. Show the universe how you want things to be, and it might just follow along. Avoid negative people who like to focus on things that are wrong, and you're likely to stay more cheerful yourself.

It's so interesting how messages come from the Universe in so many different ways. This is a message that came through my Yahoo Horoscope, which I haven't checked in MONTHS, maybe years.

My attitude has needed a serious adjustment. I have been walking around cranky all day because I am on a liquid diet (today), found out that one of my prospective clients is postponing our new project by at least a month, and had to meet with my accountant to find out my tax liability for 2008.

Here are the facts, when filtered through a positive attitude:

I am having a great time being off work, working out, eating healthy, getting ready to go to a writing workshop with one of my favorite authors for four days, and looking better than I have in years, I might add (see side picture).

I have been working on an intense proposal that, if it's successful, would result in a new partnership with a new client. The delay in my other project will create the space in my life to finish this project. Otherwise, I wouldn't have time.

My tax liability is less than it could have been and after it's paid, I still have enough to get me through another four months.

I know it's all in my attitude. I asked for this time off from the Universe. I begged to be given the space to attend to other areas of my life - my writing, my health, my life coaching practice. Now, all I have to do is stop spending so much time complaining and spend more time manifesting and enjoying the wonderful, glorious space I have been blessed with in which I can (and fully intend) to create beautiful things!!!

Self Stuff: Past & Present -- By Robin Gorman Newman

2009-02-13T09:40:00.004-05:00

(that's me on the far right)

Who have I become? And, who do I yearn to be today and tomorrow?

I had a "telling" experience this week.

I got into a conversation with my trainer at the gym re: looks...and somehow it came up how I used to look. My body.... etc. Partly since I aspire to lose weight. I have steadily gained since marriage (I admit it), and I'm not happy about it. My mom, may she rest in peace, was overweight much of her married life, and I fight against following that same path. I feel like it's not too late to change that. Does it have to be my destiny too?

I brought an old photo album into the gym, and my trainer went wild. She said I had a smokin' bod and proceeded to show the photos to a couple of the men training at the gym. I then flipped over one of the photos that they in particular were lusting after, to see the date on the back and discover that I was 14 in that shot.

I was wearing a cool halter top, with tight, short black shorts, and standing in such a way that I had confidence about my looks. Did I? I wondered. Or did it just look that way from my stance?

To be honest...and most people who know me well...will know that I've never felt truly confident in the looks department. Is it possible that I did when I was 14 and things changed? Or did it just appear that way in the photo but wasn't really true?

What does it take to think you look pretty? How come I stuggle to perceive myself that way? I'd like to see myself through someone else's eyes, in a positive sense.

When someone says that to me, I don't fully grasp or believe it.

How do celebrities walk the red carpet and flaunt it with flair? I can't for a second imagine that...but it sure would be fun!

How can I achieve that?

Is it possible to bottle physical self confidence? I know it's an inner job. But, for me, easier said than done.

On other levels, I do feel confident....mostly professionally.

On a personal level, I think I've often doubted myself.

For example -- My ability to take on responsibility. (I do it...but fight it.)

My ability to practice self care. (I know how to meditate, but don't often do it. I do hit the gym, but not often enough. I do take supplements, but sometimes get tired of the regine.)

I know I'm hard on myself. I have that level of awareness, but I also have high expectations. The on-going achiever. How do I do so much? people ask.

But, at the end of the day, isn't it about happiness? How did you spend your time? Was there pleasure in your day?

I went to a meditation session and talk last night in my town. The subject was healing. The speaker has us form small groups and write our answers to various questions. The final question had to do with...what would it take for us to feel the way we'd like? What one thing could we do the next morning to bring that into our lives?

It left me thinking about the choices we make and how we do spend our time on a daily basis.

What did I think life would be when I was 14? What were my aspirations? What made me happy? What made me sad?

I wish I could for a moment, revisit that time in my life, and gain some insight. I'd be really curious to know what 14 year old Robin was thinking.

Dancing In The Rain, By Kelly K. Brown

2009-02-12T10:57:00.006-05:00

A rainy day at the 3 Rivers Gorge Dam in China

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain!" ---Nancy Salmon

This is such an incredible quote and a true understanding of its message could make all the difference in the world---LITERALLY to the entire world!

I know that sounds strange, so go with me here for a moment...

The one thing we know for certain about life is that it happens! The good and the bad (which I prefer to think of only as ‘contrast’)—and regardless… it happens.

Death, birth, illness, well-being, shortage of money, extravagant surplus of money, starvation and obesity, economic fluctuations in any direction, those who live to serve, and those who live seemingly to take advantage---all exist in this world we call our ‘home’.

So why are we surprised when anything happens, good or bad?

We know (yes, we know!) from pretty much the moment we have an awareness of life at all, that each and every one of us will one day physically die. I mean, have you ever met anyone who didn’t… at some point… die? Or get ill or recover, or celebrate through an up time or suffer in a down time? Bemoan it if you wish, but this is the truth of LIFE! Stuff happens!

So again I ask you, why the surprise when some unfortunate incident occurs? Or why the surprise when some incredible good fortune comes your way?

For me, my initiation into awareness of this major life lesson came at a very early age… when I was a mere 5 years old. Through an incredible circumstance, both of my legs were cut off by a lawnmower even though I was physically nowhere near it.

My Dad was mowing the lawn at our home in Illinois with a push mower when the one bolt mechanism that held the blade in place broke off and the entire blade flew out from under the mower, through our rather large yard and hit me across the shin area of both legs and flew beyond me into a field.

Stop for a second and imagine that! Imagine being my Dad who was mowing the lawn! Imagine being my sisters who were standing less than 2 feet away! Imagine being ME! That blade could have gone in any direction, hit anyone, anything or nothing all. But the truth of what happened is this: the blade HIT ME---and in less than an instant, my legs were gone.

I can remember for years after the accident, people asking me how I felt about it and did I ever wonder why it happened to me… and the truth is I never really gave it a thought. In fact, after they’d ask the question, I would more often wonder, “Why NOT me? Why NOT you? Should it have been someone else?”

The point I’m making is that through the ‘circumstance’ of an accident I was given a special insight most people do not learn until they are much older (if indeed they ever learn it at all).

Every time I went to a hospital, a clinic or to physical therapy, I’d see other people like myself or others in much worse condition---and ‘WHY ME?’ became a concept without valid meaning. I would often wonder “WHY ANY of these wonderful children, adults or people?”

My positive mindset and compassion for others (instead of a ‘poor me’ mentality) allowed me to easily overcome my physical condition ‘mentally’ by achieving a very good (and very valid) perspective about life!

At an incredibly young age, I understood something very important about life, I understood that:

Life wasn’t ‘for’ or ‘against’ me based on some random accident (or other life circumstance). My Life is WHAT I CREATE it to be through my own interpretation and perspectives about EVERYTHING! My inner joy came about through my understanding of what that MEANT about life in general.

That is what the quote above is all about. Storms will come and go, but it’s the learning how to dance in the rain that makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE! HOW you focus YOUR thoughts and feelings through the storm WHILE YOU ARE IN IT, determines WHAT and HOW the next circumstance of your life will be. (Keeping in mind how the Law of Attraction works, but of course!)

Think for a moment about Nelson Mandela! I can vividly remember what I was thinking the first time I heard about his positive mindset after all those years of imprisonment. Internally, I was screaming, “There is no way I’d come out of prison speaking love, forgiveness and healing… NO WAY!” And yet, that is exactly what he CHOSE to do and his very thoughts changed the course of HIS LIFE and an entire country’s history in the making!

These are extreme examples and most people will not have to be imprisoned or have their legs amputated to prove the point I’m making. Most people (when reminded) know that they have the power to ‘create their life’ in any situation—it is completely up to them based on the thoughts they choose to think!

Every single day we CHOOSE our thoughts and our focus. From the moment we wake up, we have the FREE WILL to CHOOSE any perspective about the circumstances of life we are living. Choosing the best perspective possible, makes us feel better and allows us to move forward in life with complete and utter joy… It is completely up to us! Remember:

There is no circumstance in life that a better perspective cannot turn the tide and begin attracting something far better than you ever imagined!

So, did having a good perspective bring my legs back? Did focusing on forgiveness and love get back all the years Mandela lost in prison? Not at all! BUT understanding... accepting and allowing that ‘what is’ IS ‘what is’, and then choosing the best thoughts and perspectives about all you DO have and all you CAN DO, creates all the difference in the world not only for you in the moment you do it, but for every single life you are fortunate enough to touch.

Thoughts do become things indeed, and finding ways to choose a ‘better’ perspective about any situation you are currently in will only create better future circumstances in your life.

Today, I challenge you to listen to your thoughts! What are your thoughts telling you about your future? Are they saying, “Poor me, why does this always happen to me?” which only brings more of the same. Or are they saying, “Wow, this was unexpected; how can I now think about this experience in a way that will help me feel better?” Or, How can I use this experience to help someone else, uplift another or encourage someone in need?”

In the meantime, should a storm of life catch you by surprise, you can choose to face it by opening with a brand new thought...

“Let the Dance Begin!”

Always dancing in mind, body and spirit…

Kelly

To alleviate any confusion, please note: through a series of surgeries my legs were re-attached at the time of the original accident, however, gangrene very quickly set into my right leg and it was later re-amputated. I am wonderfully blessed to be incredibly athletic (strangers are always completely surprised when they discover that one of my legs is artificial). I roller skate, water ski, snow ski, have worked out since I was 19 years old and in fact, taught high impact aerobics for 8 years. I took up weight training 5 years ago and currently DANCE anywhere from 2 to 4 nights a week.

Plugging into only Positive Stuff.. Still! by Mary

2009-02-11T22:50:00.001-05:00

Oh my gosh.. I just wrote a whole blog and then my BATTERY Died! Yep.. right before I was SAVING it! So… now it’s 10 34, and way past my bed time so in a nut shell.. here it is!!!

Great call today with the BTS gals. On weight and health.. check us out.. you’ll totally learn and get pumped!!!

I’m keeping things positive and cool things are happening. People are asking me who I’m reading (http://www.beyondthestuff.com/!!!) and what they can do to stay the same way. Very cool.

Another gal who is in the hospital shared that my message was the ONLY positive thing she’d heard all week long.. and she thanked me.. that was really a great experience for sure!

I’m twittering lots of positive stuff, and taking OFF anyone who is reporting on the news. I don’t want to know about companies closings and lay offs. I’d rather talk about NEW opportunities for those people and how their lives are about to change.. ultimately for good!

Many “services” have been offered to me to help me with my upcoming book on our journey with SPD, ADHD and Atypical Autism. So when I mentioned last week I’m praying for financial abundance, I’m getting it, although not in cash at this point, but definitely lots of value!

Kelly reengineered my “talk” from “I need to pay bills” to “my bills will be paid on time and will get paid!” It’s much more empowering to claim with all certainty that the bills WILL get paid!! “My bills WILL get paid. My bills WILL get paid. My bills WILL Get paid”. I don’t have to know how or when or where, but they WILL get paid! Kelly is certain of it!

I’m starting a 30 day test of faith for a healing from ADHD in our home. My son is still having challenges so for the next 30 days, we’re reading healing scriptures and applying the same talk to Jeremy that is about him being a FOCUSED, OBEDIENT, compliant and an outstanding student with great behavior. We’ll start those affirmations in the morning and I will be recording the outcome.

So that’s what’s going on in a nutshell. I’ve been getting to bed earlier and waking up earlier which has been nice. I’m still plugging away at the gym and am still doing pretty well there. I’m grateful for the peace that I feel and have had in my home and am grateful that I’m so abundantly blessed with friends!!!

I will report next week on the updates of what I hope will be miracles that have taken place!!! Please send me your positive energy, and your prayers.. and I’ll send you mine!

When to Sweat the Small Stuff - By LIimu

2009-02-09T18:06:00.004-05:00

So, when should you sweat the small stuff? When the small stuff is keeping you from your goal. In my case, it's a bite of this, a nibble of that. Small missteps that have led to big delays in my achievement of my dreams.

Another sloppy weekend. I have a confession (which I have made privately in life, but I am willing to make here), which is that I am a compulsive overeater. You already know that I have been in recovery from other addictions for nearly 14 years (my anniversary is March 7). I know that I need to develop the same willingness and the same humility around this aspect of my addictedness.

Morning meditations are such a wonderful thing in my life, because they almost always hit exactly whatever it is I am going through. So it was no surprise that one of my meditations was all about how we play with our recovery. It suggested an interesting exercise, which I will share with you. What it suggested was that we list ways we work our Program, and ways we play with it, and then focus on the first list throughout the day. (This can also work with any other fitness or diet program you might follow, by the way.)

Here's my list of how I work the program:

Call my sponsor
Make a plan
Write down my plan
Follow my plan
Go to a meeting
Practice mindful meditation
Eat consciously
Pray before eating
Work the steps
Avoid people, places and things
Don't take the first compulsive bite NO MATTER WHAT

I printed that out and put it on my fridge, in my purse, in my car and on my wall.

In case you're morbidly curious, here's my list of the ways I was playing with my program:

Telling myself, "I'll remember it,,," or "One nibble won't hurt..."
Forgetting what I eat
Going to a party without being prepared
Futurizing (my word for idealizing about the future)
Thinking negatively
Missing meetings
Neglecting to call or email my sponsor
Skipping steps

This post is all about casting positive thoughts into the Universe about how I intend to recreate myself as an elite athlete. One of my meditations talked about nothing more than how close I am to realizing my goals. Very, very, very close, it said. My online personal trainer has a vision of me being on magazine covers. I LOVE that. I need to become it. I am very close. I will weigh 140 by the end of this year. I will be ripped and toned. I will not let my demons take this dream from me anymore than I would have let them take my family and children - and they would have if I had kept drinking.

These dreams are mine and I fully intend to claim them.

Sleep Stuff - By Robin Gorman Newman

2009-02-05T21:35:00.006-05:00

I am weary this week.

It's snowy in New York, and I'm tired from it....among other things.

Seth, my son, was off on Tuesday from school for administrative reasons, and we ran around and did errands, he went to the eye doctor (which was a whole drama for him) and we had a playdate with a little girl in his kindergarten class. They're cute together. A budding romance with five year olds....very sweet.

The next day, I spent the afternoon with a friend who is launching a cool business and needs guidance on the PR front. I am media training her so she will be comfortable doing press interviews, especially television. It feels like a trip down memory lane, taking me back to my days as a VP with a NYC Public Relations firm. Was that another life? No....me.....only younger....and pre-motherhood. I kinda miss those days sometimes, as much as I love my son. Parenting does wear me out some days.

Today I was on the Forum for my site http://www.motherhoodlater.com/ and got upset because there was some spam on it. I realized that it needs to be better controlled, and that hadn't occurred to me. Who would bother to visit a moms site and post gibberish and other appropriate content?!

I just feel like I've been jumping from project to project this week.

And, I'm not sleeping well. I hate that. And, I'm not a napper, so I don't make up for it. It's like I have an automatic alarm in me and I get up around 4AM almost nightly. I stumble into the bathroom, where I often check my Blackberry (yes....I'm an email addict), and then make an attempt to go back to sleep. Then, before I know it, the alarm goes off and I rush to get Seth off to school. Next I debate about going back to sleep, which I never do. I figure I'll wake up eventually even if I spend much of the day being a bit out of sorts and irritable from insufficient sleep.

What is this waking up about? Maybe my mind isn't quiet enough? Maybe it's hormones? Maybe a combination?

Tonight Marc (my husband) is out at a work function. I put Seth to sleep. He was wiped too. (Sometimes I find his sentiments echo mine.. interesting.) And, I'm going to crawl into bed early and hope that I can doze off and make it through the night and wake up refreshed. What would that feel like?! (One can only hope, and plant the seed for sleep success.) I so need that!!

Sweet dreams to you!!

Who You Really Are! By Kelly K. Brown

2009-02-05T12:16:00.004-05:00

Standing in the light of the Pantheon, Rome, Italy

I wrote the email (highlighted below) for a dear friend who is going through what most would deem a serious life struggle. Upset people, forceful opinions… everyone strongly set in their ways, their point of view the ONLY right point of view according to them. Condemnation, judgment, and anger are being given free reign in this particular life situation.

At times like this, it is easy to be tempted to be judgmental. (As my friend was telling me the story, it was amazing how quickly I felt it rising in me!) It is easy to forget ‘who we really are’, and want to lash out at others in our ‘expectation’ of how they should behave. It is interesting how when we do that, we find ourselves behaving (even if only mentally) exactly as those we condemn who are themselves throwing judgment all around.

And you feel just miserable when you do that… don’t you?

On my own personal journey, I discovered something wonderful about who I really am and how acting from that knowledge not only makes me feel wonderful, it literally ‘moves mountains’, creates miracles and makes my life ‘EASY!’. When I purposely take control of my thoughts and focus on the true essence of my being, when I find myself coming only from that which we all truly are on the inside… I find I have nothing to give beyond Pure Unconditional Love!

Love for myself and extraordinary love for others. Compassion, understanding and a knowing we are all one fills my heart and mind and any judgment I was holding onto disappears and I again find the way to shine my light so others who are watching might catch a glimpse of what they also forgot--- WHO THEY REALLY ARE!

My daughter, DeeDee and I enjoying the architectural structure and what the light represents to us!

The thing that will boggle your mind most, is when we access our unconditional love and allow it to be our guide, LOVE does all the work! Walls come down, opinions change, and enemies quickly become allies… and it all begins with being Who You Truly Are… A Source of Unconditional Love!

From this perspective, you will find you are no longer waging ‘wars’ against anything---not people, countries, the economy, illnesses—you will find you are living in a state of being ‘FOR’ what you desire most. Things like peace, well being, love, harmony, joy, and prosperity. And best of all… you will have all those things in an abundance you never dreamed possible!

A joyful reminder of Who You Really Are:

YOU ARE:

The Calm in any storm
The Light in a darkened world
The Voice of Reason in calamity
The Joy of Love expressed
The Hope others need to see
The Peace in strife-filled situations
The Harmony of life
You Are Unconditional Love...

All of these… You Are!!!

These items are not only in you... and they aren’t something outside of you to strive for…

Peace, love, light, joy, harmony, well-being... These ARE YOU!

At Your Core, Your Very ‘Being’, You Are All These Things! WE are all these things!

Allow me to share two strategies to keep you on path regardless of any circumstance you may currently be living:

1) Remember Who You Really Are (all those listed above and more!)

2) Listen to the voice of your inner guidance (those inner gems of wisdom we all have) that in moments of stress are often harder to hear. You do that by first and foremost seeking relief for you! Look FIRST for ways that YOU can feel good no matter what the current external situation is that you are facing! This will bring you back into alignment through the wonderful feelings of relief.

That is the most important thing you can do to resolve ANY life issue--- find new perspectives and thoughts that bring relief and then make you (YES YOU!) feel good!!!

Feeling even a little better is a HUGE step in the right direction!

When you feel that relief, and remember Who You Really Are---unconditional love, peace, joy, harmony, and well-being--- all that is YOU will then flow to others perfectly; with great ease, right on cue!

You will influence everyone around you for good with little or no effort (no pushing, no force or anxiety required) ---and you will create incredible miracles in every situation of life in which you are involved.

Who You Really Are? Pure Unconditional Love!

The Power of Positive Friends & Stuff! by Mary

2009-02-04T16:35:00.002-05:00

Today was the podcast of our BTS gals, and as usual, it was full of great conversation and excitement for each others’ projects and for all of the amazing miracles that continue to happen in all of our lives. Although Robin is ready for the snow to be over in NY, Leslie was ready to get out and make snow angles once again and is having fun playing in it. Liimu was running her kids to school late because of the snow in Philly, and Kelly was joyful as usual… so all of us had our “thing” that we chatted about today. I was thrilled because I had a big “share” that has taken place over the past week, and it’s very, very cool to think about how awesome the power of intention is coupled with belief, for what you want!

Leslie shared an amazing letter from a very close relative that described the power of synchronicity and how she had been used in this person’s life. They wrote a very eloquent letter that described little hunches they got or messages they kept receiving to follow on a particular path. What an incredible story, and it made us realize, that all of us, if we just followed our heart and our hunches, would get along a lot better and we can do it without all of the worry that seems to develop when we’re unsure of what to do. Each one of us then talked about events in our life and whether or not we should push or NOT push, and ultimately, it all came down to – if you get an idea.. you should really LISTEN to it and follow through if it makes sense, and then when its time to take ACTION, you can’t sit idly by and not take action, you’ve got to do what you have to do.

I shared with the group that I’m using TEXTING to plug into Kelly’s positive energy whenever I need to. Its been very cool because she helps to keep me focused during the day when about 100 things are flying at me from every direction, and I’ve been able to bounce things off of her and get her read on the situation.

Within the past week, I’ve decided to intentionally pray for and visualize and believe for a money miracle, and so I literally just “cast the financial burden away” and let my spirits be lifted by KNOWING, that I would be taken care of. I also realized, in no uncertain terms that I’ve certainly been through many difficult times, financially or otherwise, and that no matter what happened, that I would be fine. That thought alone gave me a lift.

So within the past week, three individuals have been in touch with me to promote them on the lecture circuit.. a profession that I have not been in full time for about 15 years! How bizarre is that? And not only that, they’re very cool and different types of performers. One is a Barak Obama one man show, and one is a Sarah Palin impersonator, who I loved The Black actor has been a long time friend and former client- Darryl Van Leer, and the Sarah impersonator is a new friend, but a soul sister of sorts! We hit it off immediately and I just would love to spend more time with her and hopefully we’ll be working together. The other speaker has material on the way and I’m not sure how to describe him yet. The other thing that happened is that I have a potential new client.. from the UK. This person found me today on the WEB.. so I was pretty psyched about that.

So now I’m facing an uncertain future about WHAT I’ll be doing, only that I will be doing promotion of some kind. I’ve realized that I get a charge out of promotion and my brain becomes overrun with exciting ideas for the programs or products that I’m promoting. I’m not “attached” to the what or the how.. just that there WILL be money flowing in – in new directions.

One of my best friends has offered to treat me to a weekend in New Orleans for Marti Gras, so that’s another “gift”… and I’m just still believing that more is going to continue to filter in. It’s pretty cool to live this way, and to be able to just have the faith that it all will work out.

I was mentioning plugging into Kelly during the day to get her read on the situation. She’s very well versed on the law of attraction and watching it in her life. I’ve definitely seen the results of it in my life, but because I’m not always able to keep my brain in a positive state due to home pressures like getting ready for school and being crunched on time, but recently, by being able to plug into Kelly, I’ve been more able to stay positive when uncertainty or stressful situations hit.

This is also what the BTS gals do for me, and I’m certain, that over time, that these women will be a source of strength for many, many people. I’m happy to be united with this team of strong women, and hope that this message of unity and positive strength can be carried out into the world through us.

I’m feeling powerful today. Not because I’m powerful, but because God created a universe where there are certain laws, that if we abide by them, can work in our lives to create a life that is seamless and effortless. That’s the goal, and that’s what I hope to achieve, by getting, beyond my stuff!

Watch What You Wish For - by Liimu

2009-02-02T15:07:00.008-05:00

Last year, when I was juggling several different clients, working 70-80 hours per week, I begged the Universe for some much needed time off. I begged the Universe to give me space in my life so I could breathe, meditate, exercise, nap, relax.

So, here I am - several months later - gifted by the Universe with exactly that. Most people would probably be terrified to be in my situation - an independent consultant with no active projects. I'm THRILLED. The Universe has been so good to me, I can only believe that this current situation is no exception.

Now this doesn't mean I'm sitting around on my couch eating organic bon bons. I'm working on my gospel demo and helping get my wedding band back up and running, I'm working on finishing and starting several writing projects, I'm launching my own coaching business, and I'm kicking off the Spring season of my running group Philadelphia Moms in Motion. And of course, I'm continuing to get together and network with people in my industry in the hopes of shaking some of those apples out of the trees so my family can eat some good ole fashioned American apple pie! But did you notice something all these things have in common? Well, I did. They are all SUPER FUN! I love to sing! I love to write! I love to help people! I love to run!

Life is good when you're in the flow of it. The Universe always seems to serve up if not exactly what I ask for, exactly what I need. And this month, it's a WHOLE lot of free time.

Yay, me! Got what I wished for!

Being a Leader in Difficult Times - by Mary Gardner

2009-01-31T10:29:00.002-05:00

This morning I was at the YMCA and admiring some cute work out gear that a couple of the gals were selling. I stopped to talk with them and asked how they got into this work. They told me they were selling the clothes for another gal who imports the line from Israel, Brazil and all over the world. Then I told them that the clothes were so cute, but they just weren’t in the “budget” right now!

Did that strike up a conversation! One of the women started complaining about being on a budget… I think for the first time in her life. Her husband keeps asking her where the money is going and she said, “groceries”. She didn’t have a budget before so she hasn’t curbed her spending.. and it was frustrating to the husband.

At that moment, she and I both said that everyone is having to cut down now.. and that everyone is having to change their habits. It was also a moment that I could have chimed in some inspirational quote, a piece of faith or cast a vision for the future, that isn’t the doom and gloom that the TV personalities are sharing, but a vision of hope, that we will be fine and we will survive the hard work we will put in to get us out of this recession.

So this morning, I’m searching for the perfect quote to memorize and share with those who I come in contact with throughout my days. And here are a few:

"It is time for us all to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever - the one who recognizes the challenge and does something about it." Vince Lombardi

Tony Dorsett said:To succeed... you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.

Henry Kaiser said: “Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes.”

Then after I say the quote.. I’ll listen to my own words, and then go put it to action!
This is how we stay a leader, in difficult times!

Dumping Ground Stuff - by Robin Gorman Newman

2009-01-30T14:37:00.006-05:00

I'm feeling a bit like a dumping ground this week, and it's both unsettling and empowering.

Unsettling because it felt draining. Empowering because if I can learn how to handle it, I'll cultivate an inner strength that I can put to good use.

Various people in my life shared their thoughts and negative energy with me, without my inviting it (or did I, unconsciously?). Hmmmm....

These are not women I'm particularly close with, but people who reached out to me to for a shoulder to lean on. On one hand, I try to be there for someone, but I find that I walk a fine line between offering support and being dragged down and depleted myself.

It was interesting because a close girlfriend of mine emailed me that she was annoyed at herself. She wanted to take the day off from work because she was sick, but instead made herself go to the office so she could be there for a client in need. You can probably guess what happened. The client didn't show up, and my friend was left kicking herself for not putting her own needs first. She swore she would never do that again.

Why is this so hard to do sometimes? To put ourselves first. And, be true to our inner voice that is screaming...."don't go there!" Is it that as women (not to exclude men) we do so much and feel the need to be there as caretaker for as many people as possible? And, where do you stop? The universe?

No wonder many of us, myself included, are just plain tired. It catches up with you emotionally and physically after continual practice.

So, how to change?

Well, I for one, want to better protect myself. I'm glad to listen to someone but not if they're constantly a taker. I'm not therapist to the world. It's not a role I've chosen to play. Maybe because I'm willing to give someone my ear, I can get taken advantage of. And, that leaves me feeling cold and exposed. I gave of myself, and was it truly appreciated?! I shouldn't be asking that question, should I? If I'm wondering, then why do it?! Right?

I'm going to work on letting people know that they're sharing too much information, or that I'm not in a position to comment...or however I feel I can most delicately handle a situation. No doubt, if they're sharing with me, they're sharing with others too. And, if I'm not in their close circle, then I become a third party objective voice. I understand that this can be beneficial, but not ultimately to me.

What do you do when you find someone is gravitating toward you and looks to you for advice, support, etc. and it's not someone you truly want to have in your life that way?

Whew! That's all a load off my mind....thanks for letting me share with you.

"But How Do You Do That?" By Kelly K. Brown

2009-01-29T12:13:00.011-05:00

My youngest daughter, DeeDee with me feeding the birds in Venice, Italy!

He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality.
-- Anwar al-Sadat

Recently, one of my dear, witty, funny, creative and well-informed friends sent me and many others an email very upset about the buyouts of pharmaceutical companies by other pharmaceutical companies, international bank cartels and some other recent newsworthy items all filled with angst, concern, worry about our future… indeed the future of our world as we know it. At the end of the email, he asked our opinion on any one or all of these topics.

Chances are you’ve received emails like this, been in similar conversations or saw something on the news that filled you with all these same type of ‘doomsday’ thoughts about those items, real estate, the economy or the latest business in town and how many people they laid off.

If you follow my articles or blogs (or know me in person), you already know that I won’t even for a moment allow my thoughts to go to a place where those thoughts can lead me to feelings that are anything BUT phenomenal for me and those around me. (Our Thoughts do become our reality… so I’m very, very careful about what my thoughts are at all times)

Remembering that YOU are NOT your thoughts… that YOU are the THINKER of your thoughts, is the fundamental truth behind all I’m saying and the quote above. That is the reason you have the natural ability to control what goes through your mind---most of us just forget because we are always so caught up in the emotions our thoughts have already created, its like a roller coaster that just never stops to let us off.

People often ask me quite sincerely, “But How Do You Do That?" How do you stop yourself from obsessing about all that is going on in the world? How do you control your thoughts with so much chaos in the world?”

To help you find a thought process that might work for you, I thought it would be interesting to share an excerpt of my email response to my friend… Enjoy!

Dear Friend:

One of the things about you I love most is your passion and interest in knowing so much about all that is going on in our world, and your willingness to express it!

Having said that, let me share my honest, yet predictable response to your question on these topics.

I think you are likely correct that something is up in all that---and my response will always be somewhat the same regardless of the latest drama going on in the world---no matter what it is.

My response is: be informed, notice what is going on and pay attention! Then, as quickly as possible where ANY unwanted circumstance is, NOW only focus on what you want to see as the perfect outcome. An outcome for the good of all of us!

Focusing, talking and expressing any energy about these situations other than that will only bring more into the world of what you seem to be saying you do not want!

I also, through my own experience, now know beyond any doubt that vibrational thought effort is far superior to physical effort (or fighting what I don't want) ever was or could be.

Unless one just likes the drama of it all...

I am going out on a limb to say I feel fairly certain many will respond to your email and the energy they express will be anger, frustration, worry, even fatalism that this is how the world is, this is where we are going--- all of which are extremely low energies--- and won't create the change we'd all like to see.

For me, I'll take your info and focus on some, Kelly Sunshine kinda thought about how the law of attraction will work this out Perfectly, Soon and with Relative ease!! ---using my ability to focus and vibrate at levels that bring about incredible miracles. I’ll think about how I’d like our world to move forward.

Imagine our world if it was filled with only those kind of thoughts and harmonious vibrations?

The point is this… we have more wars against more things in this world---all with the mistaken belief that fighting AGAINST something will bring about our desired solution… when the truth is: fighting against anything just brings MORE of it, because what we focus on EXPANDS… our thoughts become our reality!

We fight against cancer, the economy, starvation in other countries… we fight against everything. But what if we focused on a cancer cure is coming, the economy can do as it wishes and I will still prosper, mentally ‘seeing and believing’ there is enough food in the world to feed everyone and imagining how we could get it to those in need. Can you ‘feel’ how different just changing your thoughts to those type of ideas really feels inside you?

That is the Law of Attraction in Action my friend… by choosing thoughts that make you feel good, thoughts that are inspired by what you truly want to see in your personal life and the world, thoughts that literally FEEL GOOD.

That’s the answer you’ve been searching for! That’s EXACTLY "how you do it"—by thinking thoughts that feel better and then another thought that feels better… it really is as simple as that! Those are the kinds of thoughts that change the world!

Thinking incredibly good feeling thoughts for YOU!

Kelly

You're Not the Boss of Me- by Mary Gardner and Eileen Gardner

2009-01-28T13:14:00.005-05:00

By Mary Gardner and Eileen Gardner
January 25, 2009

Dedicated to Robin (who coined this saying "you're not the boss of me" and made us all laugh until we were crying... and the gals at Beyond The Stuff who have helped us all work together as a team.. thru the ups and downs and finally to find ourselves all coming back to our core... to just be who we are.. and to live each day as it comes.. to not push ... .but just to evolve as we are meant to and to show up authentically! Thank you for the call today ladies.. and thank you to Kelly who inspired us to get there.

You’re not the Boss of Me!
We’re meant for unity

Can’t you even see,
I’m doing what I gotta,
Busy as a bee
Surpassing what I oughta!

You’re not the boss of Me!
Let’s walk in unity!

I’m doing my “thang”
So many, many Thangs..
Trying to keep up,
In a world full of Bling…

You’re not the boss of me!
Let’s be in unity!

I got my work to do
Trying to learn some stuff too
So when do I find time
To even make a dime?

You’re not the boss of me!
Let’s work in unity!

If I try to do what’s right
I’ll never have a fight
But that ain’t always true
Because you don’t know all I do..

You’re not the boss of me!
Let’s talk in unity!

At times you want it done
in ONE-TWO-THREE
Push me to the core….
That I’m looking for the door!

You’re not the boss of me!
Let’s live in unity!

We need time
Before we begin
To be recharged
by our spirit within!

You’re not the boss of me!
Let’s shine in unity!

So if you relax and
Try to stay calm
Answers will come
Like a healing Balm

You’re not the boss of me
Let’s love in unity!

Then you will see
That the Stuff that’s in me
Does not come
When you’re the boss of me.

You’re not the Boss of me
Let’s strive for unity!

So lets unite
And work as a team
And live our lives fully
Realizing our dream!

You’re not the boss of me..
Let us BE unity!

Creative Stuff! by Mary

2009-01-28T11:00:00.002-05:00

I’m energized. I’m charged! I feel like an electric volt is running through my body as though I’m connected to a creative genius somewhere and they’re feeding me idea after idea after idea.

My enthusiasm is bubbling over. I have no time for drama or anything that is going to bring me down off this cloud.. why, I almost.. feel.. like KELLY BROWN!!!

(Kelly is always up and a great source of inspiration to me!)

But its just so exciting to be working in this space right now. I’m effective, I’m clear, and I’m getting so much done. I’m being productive in every aspect of my life, as if fulfilling a mission on this earth that has a certain time limit. Everyone I come across is getting a bucket of enthusiasm coming their way, because I can’t contain it right now.. it’s the spirit within me expressing joy.
Okay, I really DO sound like Kelly now!! Kelly, soon the world is going to know this as “The Kelly Syndrome!”

But honestly, I am so happy that its happening! I used to have this when I was promoting certain speakers that inspired me personally. When I learned “who” they were about… I could go to my office and make 100 phone calls to all of the colleges across the united states that I worked with and would tell them about this ONE speaker who had ROCKED my world.. and that they absolutely HAD to consider booking this person. When this happened.. and it didn’t happen all the time, then basically, no one could turn me down. It became a bidding contest to see who could book the speakers schedule first. That enthusiasm would inspire people to take action and run to their bosses to get the decision made to book the speaker I suggested.

For instance, when I met Bobby Kennedy Jr, , he came to the office and I went to the lobby to shake his hand. Being a conservative most of my life, I wasn’t “blown away” by the Kennedy name so I confidently shook his hand. But when I SHOOK his hand.. his hand SHOOK ME! I felt a bolt of electricity run through me that was like OH My gosh.. this person HAS something! He looked me in the eyes and was so sincere, and as I spent more and more time with him, I came to understand that the electric charge that ran into me… was the PASSION that Bobby had bubbling out of HIM for the environment and for teaching people about the environment!

So after I met him and developed my little 5 minute crush, I went to the phones and basically called my top clients and told them. I promise you this: “You HAVE to book him. Do whatever you can to get your “offer” in, because I WILL book his whole schedule for the year.. THIS WEEK.” And I did. It was Friday night on the last day that I worked at Keppler Speakers, and the offers were still coming in, and I did what I said I’d do. I booked his WHOLE year full of dates.. in one week!

So HIS passion, inspired Me to take ACTION which allowed thousands of people across the US to be able to be further inspired by a man dedicated to his cause. According to the dictionary, Inspiration means: “Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity.” And that is exactly what happened to me.

Why has it happened to me? I’m becoming more and more clear of my purpose in the world, to inspire people to live “Beyond their Stuff” and to be able to live with love and with health as they go about on their journey.

I also believe that being a part of a team like the BTS gals, who share their ideas, their thoughts, and even their dislikes nearly every day, continues to rub that creative spark that I have boiling in my own mind and body.

I believe that creative expression in the world is going to start happening at a faster and faster rate. Along with the stress that some people will feel, are the other people who understand how friction can create the genius to come out in all of us.

I choose to go the route of inspiration, creativity and joy… How about you? What do you choose?

Fear of Failure and Other Stuff I Made Up - by Liimu

2009-01-26T17:26:00.006-05:00

This morning, after a weekend of binge-eating cereal and pepperoni pizza, cheesesteak (hey, I'm from Philly, yo) and fries, I was not surprised to see the scale register that I had gained three pounds. What I had not anticipated were the words that popped out of my mouth:

"you deserve that."

I leaped off the scale, surprised by the anger I heard in the small voice that broke the early morning silence of my downstairs bathroom. What the hell was that about? Was I really eating so that I'd see that number go up, because in some way I felt I deserved to see the number go up? Was I sabotaging myself, and if so, why?

I thought back to the previous weekend I'd spent with all my sisters flitting around me like beautiful butterflies, tending to each other, their children, their needs, while I sat in their midst waiting for them to touch down on my flower and suck from my stamen. My petals were wilted, my stem laying on the ground from all the activity. I hadn't realized I'd felt so drained until this morning, when I realized that I'd fallen completely to the wayside during that day. Not only that, but I'd gone to them with my petals fully opened, every color exposed, waiting for them to say how sweet I smelled, how beautiful my hues, how much I brightened the room. As much as I told myself I was happy to serve them, the truth is, the experience left me feeling less than, feeling like my beauty paled in comparison, my successes nothing when placed against the backdrop of my sister's glamorous invitations to the inaugural balls and high-powered clients.

This morning, when I realized that I had fallen into my old trap of eating and regretting it, it was the first time I realized that it was tied into this feeling of being less than. Like no matter how much I succeed, I will never fully measure up. No matter how hard I work on my body, someone else will always be the beautiful one in the family. No matter how successful I am, someone else will always be the business mogul. No matter how my creative exploits take off, someone else will always be the intense creative one. This is why I drank, people. Because I felt like the only role that was left in my family was the role of the royal screw up. If I was going to be the best at something in my family, the only thing left was to be the biggest disappointment.

Now, I know today that is CRAP. I know that left to my own musings, I am pretty damned amazing, and getting more amazing with each passing day. I know this venture of Beyond the Stuff is on its way to impacting people positively on a global scale - to bring hope and encouragement to millions, that is what I have the power to do if I cast the negative thoughts aside like an annoying gnat buzzing through my field of vision. I know that I am no longer on a path of self-destruction. I'm on a path of enlightenment and beauty.

So, to those of you out there who have people in your life who make you feel small or cause you to question your own value (even if they don't say anything, sometimes old dynamics run deep), I say BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You always have the power to create your own internal script, you can be your own cheerleader. And when the voices that are making you feel small are your own, I offer you advice I got from one of my first sponsors: Say to the Committee in your head:

"Thank you for sharing. We're not gonna go there today. Maybe tomorrow. I'll get back to you."

And then go on about your business, the business of being FABULOUS.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a six year old, who happens to think I'm the most amazing woman who ever walked on this Earth.

The Power of Silent Stuff - by Robin Gorman Newman

2009-01-23T20:22:00.012-05:00

I'm actually not sure what to blog about today.

I had planned to get this done much earlier, but my day got away from me.

I can't complain. I do believe that things flow as they should, but it it did throw me off schedule.

I had a 10AM call planned to discuss a project for my moms venture, http://www.motherhoodlater.com/, and what I thought would be a 1/2 hour phone chat turned into 1.5 hours.

Then, my 90 year old dad with health challenges, called, and we discussed some alternative approaches he might explore for his ailments. (I'm always on the lookout for something that might help him to feel better.)

That put me behind in my plans to tackle various items on my To Do list.

Before I knew it, it was time to run out the door. I had an appointment for a private discussion/meditation session with a woman at an amazing place in town called Global Harmony House. http://www.ghhny.com/ It's a worldwide organization that teaches raj yoga meditation, which I embrace. It has changed my life, though I don't practice it nearly as I should.

But, a number of years ago, I had a major health scare, and through meditation, I was able to learn the benefits of silence. Going into myself to learn to trust my gut and to hear my inner voice. It gave me tremendous clarity and decision-making power.

I definitely need more of that. I'm feeling very indecisive and a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I'm in that racing the clock mode, and I don't like it.

I'm trying to make a few decisions re: projects to move forward with, and I'm getting all caught up in the details and it's making me feel somewhat stuck. I find that when I feel like I have too much on my plate, I just cannot think clearly.

I need to somehow take a step back and dwell less on all the minutia. It doesn't help to overthink a situation.

That is part of what we discussed in my meditation session today.

People are so busy and think way too much. We don't always allow ourselves to feel and just be. And, the more we think, the more we can get overwhelmed with thoughts that are self-defeating. We anticipate that something may seem harder than it would really be if we just tackled it. Even if that meant breaking it down into steps that make it more approachable for us.

But, why is it so hard to give yourself permission for some silence? I'm SO bad at allowing that for myself. And, then we wonder how we could be more joyful. If our brains are constantly on overdrive, we don't even know after awhile what does make us happy.

I am truly guilty of that.

And, in a fast paced city like NY, where I live, we are surrounded by noise and the desire for achievement.

At least I have the awareness of my behavior and attitude.

I will endeavor to stop and breathe more during the day. To get into a periodic mode of silence. To allow my creative juices to flow. To invite answers to come to me. And, to be grateful for all the exciting projects I am involved with...and for my health...loved ones.....etc.

I know that I will ultimately know what choices are best for me.

I already won the Lottery! by Kelly

2009-01-22T09:06:00.005-05:00

My Absolute Favorite place in China thus far, The Unbelievably Beautiful Yellow Mountain.

So everyday… every single day (without exception), at some point in the day I find myself laughing while tears simultaneously roll down my face (how I also imagine my reaction will be when I win the lottery)… and then I discover again… that I have indeed already won the lottery.

I’m not sure when and I’m not sure exactly how… but somewhere along the way during the past 5 years through the seeming good and bad… I discovered something so incredible and something so wonderful---I truly feel like I’ve won the lottery every single day!

Now for those of you who know me well, you know my life has not been perfect… (because an extreme positive attitude like mine might inspire one who doesn’t know me to think my life has been extraordinarily easy). Many of you know I’ve lived through my own share of ups and downs, triumphs and tragedies much like everyone faces at some point in life… and in some cases more than most, and you know what?

As I grow to be more present in the moment, happy in whatever the day brings, and trusting that everything will work out to my benefit (even when sometimes in the moment it doesn’t appear that way), I’ve discovered there is always a positive way to look at things. There is always a way to adjust my perspective using a memory from a past event to ‘anchor’ my current thinking into powerful positive thoughts for my today and my future.

What I’ve noticed more and more each day is how these memories that pop up out of nowhere are really forms of true inner guidance sending reminders, affirmations (literally a trail of crumbs) which the Law of Attraction then uses to keep me on the path I know is the true destiny for me. We call these seeming coincidental moments, ‘synchronistic events’, both the new ‘in the moment’ occurrence, as well as any memories that come to your present moment experience that remind you to stay on path to your dreams.

These occurrences could be picking up a book, and it just happens to have an answer you need--and you just happened to open to the right page miraculously. Receiving a quote that is perfect for where you are THIS VERY day. A song you know well, that for some reason is right on target for your heart condition this very moment---and you know because you are moved emotionally. It could be a memory or the thought of an acquaintance that crosses your mind... right on cue for what you need in this moment (and you haven't thought of it or them in years).

As each day of 2009 unfolds, I'm experiencing MORE of these ‘synchronistic event’ moments than ever before. Miracles are flowing through the experience of people all around me; my own beliefs and feelings of well-being and purpose are stronger, deeper and more infused with unconditional love than at any other time in my life. I can literally feel the changes coming as my destiny unfolds around me. I feel it, I see it, I know it---and it is in perfect alignment with my dreams for me.

That’s exactly how the Law of Attraction works for everyone! By definition, Law of Attraction is nothing more that “that which is like unto itself is drawn”. Think good thoughts…receive more good thoughts that add to the total. Think negative thoughts… experience an influx of more negative thoughts. The most important thing to remember is that thoughts DO become things through YOUR vibrational alignment with the very thoughts you are thinking (your major thought patterns, emotions and intentions).

It takes only a small amount of self-discipline to choose your thoughts wisely, to catch yourself thinking or speaking thoughts that do not serve you or the universe or thinking thoughts that bring you the very desires of your heart. I say small of amount of discipline because as soon as you begin to think better thoughts, the Law of Attraction will step right up to assist you with more of the same! (of course, the opposite is also true---think negative thoughts and more of those will soon be at your door!)

When you sense the deeper truth revealed here, you realize you alone completely control your destiny by that which you do or do not believe is true for you. And when you really understand and practice focusing on what you DO want, you will be aware that you have already won the lottery of life indeed!

And by the way… regardless of any outcome or life circumstance, your continuing good thoughts will have you feeling better and better in every moment you are fortunate enough to live… and trust me, that’s a very good thing!

Kelly

Synergistic Team Stuff.... at BTS! by Mary

2009-01-21T11:37:00.003-05:00

La la la la la la..

We have an awesome team… la la la la la la!!!

I gotta say.. I am absolutely thrilled to be a part of this team of the Beyond the Stuff women!!! We are the coolest!!! We are so much fun!!! We are so great together!!! We are so supportive… and we’re just so…. So…. WOW… what are the words???

BEYOND OUR STUFF!!!

Cool!!!

Okay, I sound like a blubbering idiot.. but it’s just because you gotta know how good it feels to really be a part of something and really feel like you fit in. To be a part of a team that flows so naturally and so synergistically, is just really a great feeling. To truly enjoy the people you work with…. And to be building a business together.. and to feel like your work really matters??? It’s just really cool!

Today, our BTS gals did a podcast.. and Robin was on deck. She discussed her current situation of her dad who is now 90 years old, and how their relationship has changed. He used to be able to care for her needs, and now she’s taking care of him. The difficulty of that situation alone is hard, but because Robin is such a giving person, she forgot to really take care of HER needs, and has ended up frustrated and out of steam. The BTS gals all took turns coaching Robin and challenging her, supporting her and encouraged her to take good care of herself, to set some boundaries around the situation and to get some others to make calls to keep him involved.

Now, what’s happening is really awesome. We’re all working together to build our radio show and now we have a bunch of agents who are interested in us. We also have this great opportunity do some other projects together. I can’t wait until we’re doing workshops for people all over the globe… to really support people to live fully and authentically!

The group is so incredibly powerful together, that I feel like it’s taken on a life of it’s own… that when one of us is busy the others pull the weight for the group and we’re all taking turns keeping this train rolling.. and in the meantime, more people are taking notice of our group.. and happily, we’re all willing to share our gifts with the world.

And from personal experience, and knowing them all as friends, that each one of these women have been a true gift to me… their friendships are real and their hearts are golden. They’re all amazing women, who joyfully share their spirits of goodness with each other and with those they encounter. I just know that all of heaven is rejoicing over this group that I believe God put together for a higher purpose… to entertain, to encourage, to help, to serve and to share…. And I just feel so honored to be a part of it.

Now I understand why all of the actors first thank God when they receive an award. It’s because they can’t believe their good fortune that has been bestowed upon them, and that they were able to get to work on a certain project, and then were recognized for the quality of their work.

I do feel like thanking God.. for the gift of these women, who all wanted to work with me and the others in the group, in creating a show, and a brand and to help each of us.. and all people Get Beyond The Stuff.

And I thank my sistahs.. at BTW.. and our “TG”, Bruce for being supportive and keeping us on our toes.., and our business advisor, Landon for your amazing wisdom, and for Sway, for being passionate and brilliant about our technology (and supportive of my involvement) … and lastly, to the friends who are cheering us on from the sidelines…

I hope all of us will grow by leaps and bounds… as we continue to learn to live… Beyond The Stuff!!!

Family Stuff - by Liimu

2009-01-19T22:03:00.001-05:00

Every time I have family coming into town, I feel like I have to batton down the hatches and really gear up for it...emotionally, that is. When I got sober nearly 14 years ago, I really couldn't pinpoint why it was I originally drank. My theory was that it was the combination of genetic predisposition and being raised by alcoholics, recovering and otherwise. Now I'm not so sure.

See, my family operated from a place of feeling like there wasn't enough - not enough food (leading to body image and food issues), not enough love (leading to codependency and love addiction issues), not enough money (leading to general feelings of financial insecurity, alternating with periods of wanton fiscal recklessness). I think this is why I really began to drink. I was always afraid there wasn't going to be enough, and I began drinking because it quieted the noise in my head around how afraid I was that there wasn't going to be enough, which eventually morphed into the BIG fear that somehow I wasn't ever going to be enough. I also drank from that place that fear of not having enough generated - the place of always wanting more. More food, more money, more love, more attention, more more MORE.

When I'm with my family, all that STUFF comes right back up to the surface. At one point yesterday, my three sisters went off to get lunch and dinner from Whole Foods. A sweet gesture, in and of itself and without all the background noise from our family history. In my crazy head, all I could think was, "Why did they leave without ME? Are they talking about me behind my back? How is it that I ended up left behind with the kids? Do they still not take me seriously as one of the adults?" Later that afternoon, one of my sisters suggested a prayer circle. When we were done, I suggested we all reveal to each other our deepest desires, so that we could pray for each other in the coming year. Patiently, I encouraged them each to share their deepest desires, and they did.

Right before it came to my turn, my sister's husband peeled around the corner and blazed up the driveway. (His son had gotten sick in the movie theater, and he had left the other five of our children behind in the theater with my 13 year old niece.) I realized before he had even turned off the car that there was no way he could have all the kids in the car, and so someone was back at the theater alone and without a grown up. My coat was on and the keys in my hand before I even had time to grieve the fact that yet again, I had put the deepest desires of my family before my own.

The happy ending to the story - all the children were safe and sound. And so was I. I am blessed to have developed a relationship with God and the Universe and many, many beautiful people in my life so that I know my deepest desires are taken care of. I choose to believe that this is why the Universe chose that moment to remove me from the prayer circle. It was a test of my faith in the Universe. A test of my willingness to receive all the deepest desires of the people in my family, without needing to give anything of mine at all.

In the past, my family has accused me of being selfish. Truth be told, I spent the entire day thinking of my family, what I could do for them, how I could serve them, what they might need to say, to do, to receive. I went from sitting in one sister's church listening to her sing, which I knew meant the world to her, to sitting with another sister, giving her my full attention as she explained the difficulties she'd been facing over the past few months, without sharing any of my own, to sitting in prayer circle with the three of them, receiving all their deepest desires without having to put mine on the table.

Because I'm good. I think I've finally grown up. And I can take care of myself and my family - old and new - with a whole lot of help from God and my friends.

Love you all,

Liimu

Flying By the Seat of Your Pants Stuff - By Robin

2009-01-16T14:00:00.003-05:00

I live in NY, and had planned to blog about "seasonal stuff", which I may do at a later date.

After what happened here yesterday, I feel the need to switch gears.

A plane enroute to Charlotte from NY, US Airways, made an emergency landing in the Hudson River when a flock of birds hit the plane and caused severe engine trouble. I'm sure you heard about it on the news.

There were over 150 people on the plane, and no casualities resulted. The pilot is being heralded as a hero, and indeed he is.

Can you imagine how it must have felt being a passenger on that plane? I can't....I would have had my heart in my mouth.

When we had our recent Beyond the Stuff offsite meeting in South Carolina, I, in fact, flew on a US Airways flight to Charlotte. That could have been me on that plane.

How would I have reacted?

It's been getting huge television coverage here in NY, and probably worldwide. The glowingly positive end result is truly a miracle.

The pilot had decades of training behind him and immense skill to save all those lives. How do you thank someone for doing that? No doubt all survivors are celebrating big time, when it could have been so easily the opposite.

Life can sure be fragile.

But, where do you go from here? I'm curious to know how the passengers will feel about flying again? Not that I'm saying they should be scared or concerned. But, it can get you thinking.

A girl in my gym came in last night seriously rattled because she has an upcoming trip where she planned to fly, and now she doesn't want to go. She is supposed to go with her husband, and possibly children, but she feels like she wants to bail out. She doesn't want to project her fears on them, but she is insecure at the moment. It's interesting because she is a doctor, involved intimately on a daily basis with people's bodies and lives, and that doesn't phase her. Maybe it's a matter of control? She can control her actions in the operating room, but she's not a pilot. Anyone who flies places their life in the hands of the plane's pilot. And, we don't even get to meet him/her. Think about that. Would we have a doctor operate on us without meeting them, unless we were unconscious and it was an emergency?

Hmmmm......

This goes to show that much of what we do in life...decisions we make.....paths we follow....etc....are a true leap of faith. We can trust our guts to guide us, but we sometimes have to let go out of the outcome. We give our faith over to those who services we need to take care as best they can. And, that's all we can do under certain circumstances.

I'm just so happy for all the survivors of this plane incident. And, pray that after further investigation, they'll come up with a method of "bird control" so that perhaps this might be avoided in the future.

Are YOU Creating Castles? by Kelly

2009-01-15T13:54:00.014-05:00

I have an incredibly profound quote on a lovely card in my home directly under a beautiful picture of my daughter, Erica and her husband Alan the day they were married in October 2005 (see above!).

It’s as easy to create a castle as a button
--Esther Hicks

Sound strange? Incredible? Impossible?

It is, if you think it is!

It isn’t, if you know how to focus your thoughts and release your intentions into the universe---because when you do THAT, it IS as Easy to Create a Castle as a Button.

From the day she was born, Erica has acknowledged quite openly and quite insistently that she was born into the wrong family. Not wrong because she doesn’t love us or isn’t happy with her life (our family life). No, it is more about an inner feeling that she was meant to be a princess. That she is INDEED a real princess!

I have many fond memories from the earliest moments in her life when she would state she was sure she was a princess and didn’t understand why we didn’t live in a castle and why wasn’t I the Queen? “Mommy, I just don’t understand----I KNOW I’m a princess! Where's our castle? Where’s my throne? Why aren’t you the Queen? This is ALL wrong! I KNOW I'm a princess!"

Castle Otttis in St. Augustine, Florida

As a very young mother (I was only 19 by 2 weeks when Erica was born), you can imagine I had no clue what to tell her although I totally LOVED her idea that she was a princess which meant I should be the Queen!

Here’s the thing… Erica never lost sight of that dream and always visioned she’d be married in a beautiful castle one day. And despite a life altering long-term illness (my former husband's brain cancer diagnosis with six months to live) that arrived just TWO days before my 17 year job ended, costs of which dwindled our funds to zero, 3 brain surgeries and 4 years later, she was married in a beautiful castle of her dreams… and it cost us almost nothing!

She believed, she dreamed, she focused and the Castle came about through a 'chance' drive by... Ahhhhhhhhhhh... I so love how this Universe of Abundance works!

That is the power of vibrational alignment with your dreams… Literally, the Law of Attraction in action! Think of what you want, believe you deserve and can have it, create an absolute expectation and then watch the path of the Universe open to fulfill your dream exactly as you vision it.

Erica then dreamed of going to Germany on an incredible castle tour---and out of nowhere the money showed up and in September 2007 our family lived that dream as well and viewed the many castles of King Ludwig (including the world famous Neuschwanstein—in picture below).

Me in front of King Ludwig's Neuschwanstein Castle (I LOVE how that girl dreams!)

Guess what? Now Erica wants and visions touring all the world famous castles of France! In case you are wondering... I’m already packing my bags and notified our favorite tour guide that money would indeed be showing up for us to take that trip!

Create a Castle as Easy as a Button? With YOUR ability to focus ONLY on what you want, with unwavering belief and expectation… a feeling of FAITH enters the picture and when you can hold on to the certainty that faith provides… YOUR Castle is right around the corner! It has to be... It is LAW!

Now what do you REALLY want?

Dreaming night and day of YOUR success!

Kelly

Clearing away the Stuff to Get to my Heart by Mary

2009-01-14T23:46:00.004-05:00

Today a dear sweet friend is full of grief.

A week ago I went to her home and she pulled out a baby book. I screamed for her, and we talked about her upcoming “miracle” of being pregnant. She has an older child but never was able to get pregnant again, and although she’s completely healthy and young, she wasn’t able to conceive.

Today, she texted me and told me she had a tubal pregnancy and they were taking her baby.

At the store, I found a peace plant, and found the perfect card at home that said, “May God bring you peace in this time of “sorrow”. I brought it over to her home, and when her husband answered the door, I gave it to him and the tears started. I told him they would be in my prayers and he thanked me in his sweet and soft spoken way. I could tell he was sad, and he shared with me that my friend wasn’t doing well.

I came home and cried. I cried for her and for the dream that was now gone for them. I cried because just yesterday she was so happy about the baby and for how their lives would change. And I cried for me… because I once had the same dreams of having more children, but that wasn’t meant to be. I believe God gives us what we can handle, and He must have known that me, not being overly domestic, and that he was giving me a very special child that I would need all sorts of time to learn about him and his special needs, decided to give me just one.

But still, I cried.

So, I decided to get still. I went to my room and got out my journal. I recorded things like what’s been going on… and what I needed to do. That quickly gave me a wake up call and sense of overwhelm about what needed to be done. My brain started going into overdrive… “I have to send invoices, clean my house, cook some veggies for the week, have my tail light fixed (the neighbor’s little girl accidently threw a rock and broke it recently!)

The list didn’t stop! I need to call several friends who need information about Orlando or Winter Park for moving here, and I need to get my mailing list and postcard ready to go out next week… etc.. So I asked my self a simple question:

“What does my heart want?”

That brought me still again! I searched and searched for the answer. I let my mind wander and considered the people who were important to me. I thought of all of their needs, and all of their struggles at the present. My son has a stiff neck, my husband has new work associates, my sister has so many projects, another dear friend has several issues at home, my parents are still concerned about their kids.. and so on and so on. Everyone has something. And how could I be a good friend to these people? This what was on my heart. I realized that all that matters…. Is love.

So, I prayed for them. I realize that they’re my priorities.. those closest to me… that my job here on earth first .. is to love those in my life. And also.. to love myself. It’s the golden rule… “love your neighbor as yourself”. It did bring me comfort.. and it simplified my life today.

I know that I can only do what I can do.. to love my family and myself… so I’m starting with my home.. and doing what NEEDS to be done there.. and then I’ll make my business my priority.. and get done what NEEDS to get done. Everything else will have to wait.

What about you? Do you ever have the sense of overwhelm? Do you look at your desk and realize you absolutely can not get it all done… no matter what? Do you listen to the needs of your kids.. and your spouse and those at work who are calling for your time and attention?

We all have too much on our plate these days.. yet we all only have a limited amount of time. We have to consider what is the best use of our time, and sub the other stuff out to those who are better at it than we are.

Try going to your heart.. and finding the answer.. It will prove to give you the right answer.. every time!

Update...
I wrote this yesterday.. and the rest of the day I was so incredibly quiet.. and spent the day cooking and cleaning and with my son.. teaching him how to juice and shred cabbage, etc. I had candles all throughout the house and had classical music playing all afternoon. We never once turned on the TV and we just spent time together enjoying one another. I didn't talk on the phone all day, and just worked by email. I needed the quiet.. and it really was exactly what my soul needed so today I felt refreshed and back in the saddle.

Sometimes, all we need.. is to be quiet.... and to accept and to cherish it as a gift.

When You Believe, Part Two - By Liimu

2009-01-14T20:41:00.010-05:00

I couldn't help but follow up Kelly's lovely post from a couple days ago with my own serenade to the beautiful ladies of Beyond the Stuff (and Bruce) and all our readers/followers. I love you all, and can't wait to bear witness to the miracles you manifest.

When You Believe, Part Two

Gratitude - by Liimu

2009-01-12T17:23:00.004-05:00

Have you ever woken up in a funk, not sure why you're feeling BLAH about just about everything happening in your world - your beautiful family, your warm, cozy house, your high-paying job? Well, that's what happened today to me and the word the Universe kept throwing at me as a solution was ...

...gratitude.

Fortunately, the Universe also gave me a very good recent example of something I have to be hugely grateful for - not only the resolution to a scary situation, but also these lovely women in my life, one of whom was instrumental in guiding me around how to use the Law of Attraction to attract a miraculous solution to my problem.

Now, I am a big believer in the Laws of Attraction. I have been since I read The Secret in August of 2007 and completely recreated my life, beginning with a stint on NBC's Clash of the Choirs and followed up by quitting my yucky job and launching a successful consulting company. But sometimes the Universe presents situations that, on the surface, are so unmanageable, it's hard for even those of us who believe in the Law of Attraction to harness its power and not let our own fears sabotage us right into a really deep hole.

On my blog, Recreating Liimu, I posted about that tested my faith in this Law. For those of you who missed it, here's a quote that post that pretty much sums up the situation:

"I had a challenging situation today when our insurance company informed us that they would not be covering Devon's oral surgery from last November and the total charges were close to $16,000. I will not freak out, and I ask that all who read this send positive, miracle-generating vibes into the Universe that this will be resolved in a miraculous way. The oral surgeon certainly never told us it could be anything close to that amount, so my hope is that they will be reasonable and charge us a reasonable amount for his work. I know my faith is strong and I have so much belief in the miraculous, positive, abundant workings of the Universe."

Our very own Kelly reminded me that writing about what we intend to have happen when we are facing a situation is what is most powerful, so I wrote in my journal that I wanted everything to be resolved and the debt to be wiped clean.

The following morning, I got a call from the dentist's office. It went like this.

"Oh, sweetie," the young lady from the office said, with concern and compassion in her voice. "I got your message last night and my heart just went out to you." My voice was shaking even as I answered her.

"Yes, we're pretty freaked out," I stammered. "What are we going to do?"

"You don't have to do anything," she said, reassuringly. "We are going to take care of it, like we said we would."

"But Aetna said it was going to cost $15,000," I weeped.

"Yes, and we knew they most likely would not cover any of it, but we submitted to them, anyway, on the off chance they would cover something. And we also knew we could count on your copay ($250). It must have really scared you to get that letter. Unfortunately that is sort of standard for that to get sent out, but I assure you, we were prepared to take whatever we got from them..."

"...even if that's nothing?" I couldn't help but interrupt.

"Yes, even if that's nothing. You are totally fine. You are good. Everything is taken care of."

A miracle, just like Kelly told me it would be. And when I got off the phone, I burst into tears, not just from relief at this particular situation being resolved, but because the situation affirmed what I wanted so much to believe: that the Law of Attraction is real. I have so many things I intend to have happen this year and if the Law of Attraction is real, then these things are already taken care of. I have released into the Universe the what, and the How and When are not my concern.

So today, when I was feeling blah and sorry for myself for no particular reason, the Universe reminded me of this wonderful miracle and how much I have to be grateful for. Kelly reminded me on the phone. My therapist and friend, Susan, reminded me in our session today. And when I got in the car to come home and see my beautiful family, I turned on the radio and Hezekiah Walker's "Grateful" was playing on the radio:

I am grateful for the things that You have done

I am grateful for the victories we've won

I could go on and on about your works

Because I'm grateful, grateful so grateful just to praise You Lord

Flowing from my heart are the issues of my heart, is gratefulness

Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful

Grateful, grateful, grateful

Gratefulness is flowing from my heart

Flowing from my heart

Are the issues of my heart

is gratefulness

When You Believe... by Kelly

2009-01-10T12:58:00.007-05:00

What an INCREDIBLE WEEK!

I knew that 2009 would be the beginning of the realization of the HUGE changes I want in my life and the very MIRACLES I’ve been dreaming of, believing in and expecting...

I even knew that it would begin right away and from December 31st straight through to today, it has been one revelation after another, miracles big and small… people getting what they want (even in the face of adversity).

Some of those people are our very own BTS Gals--and I won’t spoil their stories should they be planning to blog about them this week. And yet, I cannot wait another moment to express to the universe in writing my gratitude, appreciation, and recognition of how everything all around me, AND through their miracles--- is flowing together… perfectly for the fruition of the dreams I have for me.

So what I will share with you is that my passion in life has most often been about helping, loving and caring for others. I was born with a crazy, wonderfully optimistic Pollyanna disposition and I do see the good in every thing there is, and when I can’t for ANY reason, I focus on it until I can. I’ve lived through many, many unbelievable (and often seeming tragic) life situations that most people have no idea of… and yet I’ve found a way through them and in hindsight BOTH to see the tremendous good that was always there for me from the beginning in every single moment.

This past year for me, has been one of extreme inner personal growth. By conscious choice I took an entire year off (for the most part) just to focus on me, my dreams, my goals and aspirations. I’ve spent extraordinary amounts of time just ‘being’. And with each new day a door has opened and a new enlightenment was revealed that moved me further on the path to my dreams.

This week has begun ripening the fruit of all the time, study and practice I’ve spent.

Fruit you ask? Yes, the fruit of Miracles! This week, both Liimu and Leslie experienced extreme miracles on different topics---and both were exactly what then WANTED and NEEDED at exactly the right time.

Know how they did it? It was 3 simple steps really. First, they were able to focus their thoughts on “What do I want? What am I desiring?, and then with some conversation and encouragement, they added Step 2… the belief step! They both in conversation and inner thought began believing that they could experience the miracle they want! And Third, they put themselves in a place of expectation by talking about and discussing other times they’d received a miracle… and listening to others share theirs. If there was any inner doubt of their worthiness or ability, it was put to rest right then and there and you know why?

A desire, plus belief with added expectation equals FAITH… and nothing can stop FAITH!!

So what does this have to do with you or me and my dreams? For me (obviously) this is the GREATEST gift of all! My time this year, my meditation, my focus has been centered completely on how I could help others learn and grow in ways that would help them achieve their miracles and the dreams they are desiring.

Beyond me, however, is the much bigger picture! What I know for sure is that there is a way for everyone to get the very desires of their heart and this week’s miracles with Liimu and Leslie were just a wonderful affirmation that everything is as it should be, in the moment and right on perfect track.

Desire plus Belief plus Expectation equals Faith… And Faith Always Brings the Miracle!

So… what are you waiting for?

The song below came to me in the middle of all these miraculous happenings this week and I could in my mind’s eye hear our very own Liimu belting out the lyrics every bit as wonderfully as Mariah and Whitney.

To that end: I dedicate this song to All The BTS Gals and anyone who believes or is out there just wishing they could, this song is sent with tears of love and encouragement, just for YOU…

Kelly

When You Believe!
Whitney Houston with Mariah Carey

Many nights we've prayed

With no proof anyone could hear

In our hearts a hope for a song

We barely understood

Now we are not afraid

Although we know there's much to fear

We were moving mountains long

Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will

You will when you believe

In this time of fear

When prayers so often prove in vain

Hope seems like the summer birds

Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here

My heart's so full I can't explain

Seeking faith and speaking words

I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will

You will when you believe

They don't know it's often when you ask

(Oh)

And it's easy to give in to your fears

(Oh...Ohhhh)

But when you're blinded by your pain

Can't see your way straight through the rain

Boy, am I still resilient voice

Says love is the relief

(Ohhh)

There can be miracles (Miracles)

When you believe (Lord, when you believe)

Though hope is frail (Though hope is frail)

It's hard to kill (Hard to kill, Ohhh)

Who knows what miracles, you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will

(somehow, somehow, somehow)

somehow you will

You will when you believe

You will when you

You will when you believe

Just believe...in your heart

Just believe

You will when you believeeeeeeeeeee

Cold Stuff - by Robin

2009-01-09T10:49:00.007-05:00

Had I known, I would have bought stock in Kleenex (the tissue company). Or, Lipton tea.

Just kidding....(or maybe I should explore it? Hmmmm....)

I'm referring to what feels like the longest running cold/virus in history. I have it. I've been drinking tea and blowing my nose for what feels like forever. And, I'm not alone. I know a number of people who are sick and having trouble shaking the various viral strains going around this winter. What fun!

I've been plagued with this for over a month now, and finally bit the bullet at the urging of two friends, and saw the ENT doctor who after gliding some tube down my nostril (not pleasant) , said something about a second set of tonsils I have. Who knew?! I had my first set out as a kid, I told him, thinking he was making some kind of mistake. He wasn't.....

Luckily he wasn't suggesting these come out, but I did require anbitiotic. Today is day 5..the final day...and I'll be glad to be done with it. It upset my stomach.

In general I'm still not feeling great. And, it's also that time of the month (if you know what I mean)...so it's like I've been hit with a double whammy, so to speak. It feels like so long since I've felt really good.

Yesterday it was getting me in a bit of a funk. I was missing my mom, since I was craving some nurturing. A couple of friends gave me a buzz, which was nice, and it felt like a "hug" on the phone, which I needed. I was feeling vulnerable and wanted to just curl up in bed.

I know "this too shall pass" (thankfully), as my beloved mom used to say, but I'm getting anxious.

I watched the Barbara Walters tv special the other night that focused on Patrick Swayze, the actor, and the fight of his life with pancreatic cancer. It was a tough thing to see before going to bed, and I probably shouldn't have, but it made me realize how important good health is and how we should try to practice it every day to the best of our ability. Sickness may still strike, but for example, Swayze is a smoker, and they said there is a link to pancreatic cancer from smoking.

We all have our vices, I realize, but we can try to help ourselves.

That said, I'm going to end this blog post, and go take my vitamins and drink more tea before my day gets away from me and I don't do it. It's so easy to get caught up in life. If we don't practice self care, it won't happen for us. So go to it! (I need another tissue.....) :)

Happiness is... By Kelly

2009-01-08T10:30:00.004-05:00

Do you ever wake up in a funk? No bad dreams, a good night’s sleep---you know, nothing’s really wrong… and yet you still find your mind wandering to thoughts that don’t serve you (or anyone really). More than anything you want to just ‘shake it off’ and somehow for reasons unknown the escape from these thoughts eludes you.

Well that is how I occasionally wake up and today just happened to be one of those days… in my first moment of awareness of this, I made a decision to just breathe for a few and started thinking of things I like.

It wasn’t too long before something from the past popped into my mind. Remember in the 70’s (for those who were around then!) the ‘Happiness is…’ slogans? Well as soon as that came to mind, I was filled with good thoughts of what Happiness is to ME… and in less than 5 minutes, I was ‘right as rain’ as they say! I hope you enjoy my list and will add a few of your own!

Happiness is… acceptance of my life exactly as it is today and how it is in every single moment!

Happiness is… focusing my thoughts and intentions on how I’d like things to go as the day moves forward with a wonderful acceptance that things will go ‘exactly’ as they are meant to---and that’s okay.

Happiness is… the sun as it shines through my window and reminds me ‘all is well’ in the world---another day has begun and I am once again lucky enough to live it!

Happiness is… knowing my existence matters in the scheme of things and that everything happens for a reason and that reason serves me.

Happiness is… my steamy hot morning cup of tea!

Happiness is… the joy I feel inside when I remember WHO I really am!

Happiness is... the way I feel inside about trees, clouds, birds and their morning songs, and the Abundant Universe evident in nature all around me!

Happiness is… Personal Freedom! Freedom in each moment to choose my thoughts, feelings and intentions---knowing every other person has that same ability and right at their disposal in every moment.

Happiness is… the way wonderfully soft materials (like my fleece sheets or that furry coat above!) feel in my hands when I touch them!

Happiness is… knowing today I will have the opportunity to give unconditional love to another human being… and knowing there will be those who will share theirs with me.

Happiness is… saying ‘Good Morning’ to my baby kitty everyday!

Happiness is… growing, learning, changing, accepting and loving the journey I call My Life!

What about you? Happiness is… ??? What thoughts bring happiness about in your inner world? Take a few minutes and start your day off with a few of your own and watch how things change!

Happiness is… getting to share my good morning thoughts with YOU!

Kelly

Stuff at Beyond the Stuff by Mary

2009-01-07T13:50:00.002-05:00

Today was our weekly meeting for our team at Beyond the Stuff. We had scheduled a very serious agenda because we had so many things we had to discuss as we’re getting close to launching our radio show.

But what happened was so miraculous.. and it’s why this group of women is so special. There is just something magical about this group… that we’re able to be transparent and open and authentic, and that has created a strong bond with one another.

When I came to the call today, I listened to the women talk about some exciting things and miracles that were being created in their lives. At the end of those conversations, I thanked the women for sharing, and that I needed to hear that sort of enthusiasm today, because I personally wasn’t in that sort of place. I had a somewhat difficult morning, and needed to hear about “the law of attraction” and to expect miracles in my life.

After hearing the stories, I felt even more certain that the country needs to hear these types of stories more often.. of regular every day, blow your mind away miracles!

Then, when we got down to business…, one of us brought up a rather sensitive issue with the others and each one of us took time to hear the concern, and the reasons, and then we all shared what our response was to the subject. There were subjects that we touched upon that took courage for us to discuss, but each of us bared our souls and shared from our hearts.

Afterwards, we were all practically singing in unison over the conversation that had taken place. We all agreed that we needed to process this topic and discuss it.

We all agreed that we’re all strong. Each and every one of us has had a very strong career and although we’ve had our ups and downs, we’ve learned a lot along the way and we’re dedicated to sharing this wisdom with others as we go along our individual paths. We all know however, that we’re great as a group. We all have each others back and can uplift each other when the others are down.

Thank you to my “sistahs” of Beyond the Stuff. You’re just what I needed today .. and every day!!!

You’re Awesome and I love ya’ll too!!!

And life is so much more fun.. living Beyond the Stuff!!!

Magnificent Stuff - by Liimu

2009-01-05T15:20:00.003-05:00

In Kelly's first blog of the new year, she said the word for 2009 for her was "kindness." For me, I think it's "magnificence."

The basic gist of my morning meditation, which was from Doreen Virtue's Messages From Your Angels, was that we are all magnificent in the eyes of the Universe and so the only reflection of us that is true is one that holds us in that light.

This past Thanksgiving, I was struggling with the weight of all the "shoulds" in my life around how and with whom I should spend the holiday, and my dear friend and spiritual advisor, Barbara, suggested I simply surround myself with people who "enhance my magnificence." That idea has stuck with me and has made it that much more simple for me to decide who I choose to spend time with during the holidays or any time of year.

I ate like a little piggy last week while I was in Florida with my daughters, and my friend who was with me and I spent many conversations mulling over why it is that we were choosing to eat so poorly during our week together. I'm sure many of you have had similar conversations:

Me: Ugh. I feel like a little piggy.
Her: Me, too. I really didn't need to eat that last piece of pizza.
Me: I am so going to have to run an extra 30 minutes on the treadmill tomorrow.
Her: And lift an extra 8000 pounds. Are you gonna eat that cake?

Note: This conversation really never happened and is an entirely fictitious example. Really. No, really.

When I got home, I was just stuffing the last of a huge chicken stromboli in my pie hole when I got a call from Tony, founder of Dreambodies and my personal online trainer. I quickly offered to go get the milk from Wawa and bundled up into my car so I could sneak in a return phone call from the one person I knew could not only get me out of my slump but could do so all while enhancing my magnificence.

We talked for about 20 minutes, and during the conversation he casually reassured me that I would, in fact, one day be at a pace (140 lbs and RIPPED...hahaha) where I could loosen the reins a bit and not get sent into a total tailspin. But neither my body NOR my mind is there right now.

"I'm not worried about you, though, Li," he said gently. "I'm fully aware that this is your year. This is your time to shine. And you will not only achieve your goals, you will inspire thousands of others to do the same." And to hear those words coming from a man who has certainly done that himself, it didn't feel like he was just blowing smoke. It felt like he was stoking a fire.

And that, my friends, is what enhancing someone's magnificence is all about.

The Simple Stuff by Mary

2009-01-03T13:29:00.002-05:00

This is a party at our house!

We just got home from vacation and it was a fun filled week with many of our best friends. Truly, truly, there is nothing better than spending time with people that you love. There is always lots of laughter and fun, and even in the tense moments between the kids.. and there were a lot of those… it gets resolved and everyone moves on.

Finding and nurturing close relationships with others isn’t super easy when everyone is involved with the intricacies of life. Managing families, sports, school, businesses, relationships and everything else we have to all do takes its toll on most of us… so to get to spend some down time just kicking back, was such a joy and so refreshing.

I’ve heard that the happiest people studied are those who spend the most time with family and friends. It’s not about the money they have or the house they own or the cars they drive. It’s the simple things, of spending time with those that they love.

When I review my life, I have to say that it’s the relationships in my life that I feel most grateful. I was always blessed to find really quality friends along the way. My mom taught me long ago to pray for good friends, and that little suggestion has made a world of difference in my life.

Food and friends.. that’s the simple formula to having a great time! Grab a bottle of vino, a couple of ripe and sweet, juicy mangos and some delicious Irish cheese, and you have a wonderful meal to keep people content and talking and laughing.

It’s the simple stuff I’m going for this year…… Food, family and FUN!

Not Enough Fun Stuff - by Robin

2009-01-02T10:00:00.000-05:00

I was chatting with a friend the other day and sharing with her my general feeling of overwhelm at times with life responsibility, stuff to do, etc. My to do list feels never-ending, bascially because it is.

She said to me...you need to have more fun. Think about that for 2009.

And, it did get me thinking...and thinking...and thinking.

She's right.

I do have workaholic tendencies. And, since I work now from home, the day kinda never ends.

Where did this work ethic come from?

Does it have to do, perhaps, with my being a product of parents raised during the Depression?

I wonder.

Though, my mother worked only part time, for a period of time, while I was growing up.

My dad, a CPA, worked, but didn't burn the midnight oil in the office.

So, where then?

I may never know for sure.

But, what I do know is that I should heed my friend's advice.

And, my dad has always said to me, "You make money by working smarter, not harder." And, while I do take this to heart, I don't totally know how to put it into practice in my own life.

And, how do I have more fun?

Fun in what form? Hmmmm......

What would give me pleasure?

I can see more movies...that aren't animated. (I really only go now when I take Seth.)

I could see more theatre. (But tix are super expensive these days for Broadway. We do go to Off-Bway.)

I could shop more. (But I go often enough already to TJ Maxx, and do enjoy that.)

I enjoy travel, but it also gets me tired. All the packing/unpacking, preparation, airport security, etc.

I could get more massages. (There was a time when I vowed to get one once/month, but I stopped following through.)

One of the things I would love the most is to spend quality time with friends. I definitely don't have the opportunity to do that enough. Everyone is SO busy, and getting together often revolves around a playdate for Seth. And, in that case, I'm not necessarily buds with the mom, but it works for the kids.

I miss having dinner out with a girlfriend and shooting the breeze and not looking at the clock.

My husband would watch Seth, and I could do that, but some of my closest girlfriends don't live in my neck of the woods, so they're not readily accessible. And, eating out with someone you can't converse with on a heartfelt level leaves me empty. I'm at the point in my life where I crave substance vs. superficiality.

So, I know somehow (and hope) that I'll better learn to incorporate fun into the everyday. I have to practice inviting it into my life.

It may not come easy for me, but in the long run, I'll be all the better for it.

What do you do for fun?

Kindness... A Great Word for a Great New Year by Kelly

2009-01-01T11:12:00.013-05:00

My daughter Erica (left) and her best friend, Heather (right)!

I was in awe, and filled with joy while big tears ran down my face as I discovered that the FIRST word God’s Universe had for me to HEAR upon rising today (New Year’s Day 2009) is one of my favorites to see, be and do… the word KINDNESS!

Take a moment and just think about what that word means to you… Kindness!

To me it very often means Walmart! Yeah, I know that sounds crazy, so let me explain.

I was just there the other day with my daughter, Erica, and it was crowded and people were busy and as is always the case for me, I find someone there who just needs a little ‘extra’ love… a small piece of kindness.

That day, it was the checkout girl… who was doing her job quite efficiently and yet if anyone took the time to notice, there was such a mindless look of unhappiness about her… not a glimmer of a smile… just spending time. Immediately, my heartstrings were tugged and I took extra interest in her and asked questions, as we chatted, I smiled and beamed the energy of love all focused intentionally on her… and was gifted to watch anew what happens when kindness for another (in any form) is the intention of any moment.

Kindness is so interesting because its affects are far more reaching than it might appear on the surface (looking only at the simple act itself). I believe kindness and acts of kindness literally and physically change people!

That day at Walmart, I was uplifted with joy at having shared a moment of care with a total stranger. The checkout girl’s entire aura was changed and I’ll never forget her joyful countenance, huge smile and good wishes for a Happy New Year as we left! The bigger surprise was how the kindness also affected my daughter, who witnessed the whole thing… she, too, was uplifted and radiating joy as we left the store.

I’ve recently read that acts of kindness (the giving, the receiving, even the witnessing) literally change (elevate) the serotonin levels for good in the human body---and it strengthens the immune system---even the observer’s serotonin levels are elevated when they witness an act of kindness!

Think about that wonderful movie, Pay It Forward (where the boy’s idea is to do a kindness for another, that can only be repaid by ‘paying it forward’ to someone else who is in need). Watch that movie--especially the part when the boy spells out how the whole plan works--and TRY NOT to cry tears of joy how something so simple as kindness can do so much universal good! When I watch it, I can FEEL a physical change that beckons me to find ways to be kind to others.

How can we do it? That’s the best part of all!

An Act of Kindness can be ANYTHING!

It’s a big joyous smile that is everyone’s gift to give! It can be the gift of time (even a few minutes) spent in conversation with one who is lonely. It can be paying the toll for the person behind you at the toll plaza. It can be choosing to smile when someone cuts you off in traffic and wishing them Godspeed as they are in a hurry! It can be treating you, YOURSELF, with loving kindness. It can be just living a joyous attitude that spreads to everyone you meet.

That’s the Beauty of Kindness---it can be anything, done anywhere, for anyone, at any time!

And the Power of Kindness? Just a simple act of faith with far reaching magnificent rewards whose end you’ll most likely never see or know---and ALL at no cost to you or anyone!

And it all begins when you See Yourself As Love in Action!

“To work with love… is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart even as if your beloved (the recipient) were to wear that cloth."
-Kahlil Gibran

Happy New Year with all the kindness and love I can share!

Kelly

When Stuff is in Sync by Mary

2008-12-31T13:14:00.001-05:00

This is a really special week. I keep being amazed (ok, I really wanted to say I keep freaking out!) over how linked it appears my life is flowing right now. I shouldn’t be surprised. I have prayed for miracles and little by little, day by day, they seem to appear out of no where. For starters, our best friends G. and M. from NYC swapped houses with a family in Florida. They found a great one, in Pensacola Beach FL and they invited us to come for the week. We were excited to spend time with them, and so was Jeremy! My college roomie, Donna, her husband Steve, live here with their two kids and they’re newly adopted “cousins” of my son. He considers them like his brother and sister and we’ve made a commitment to see them as much as possible through the years because the kids get along so well. So when we discovered that the swapped house was less than a mile from Donna and Steve’s. And not only that, the couple was a friend of Donna’s! Then, my NYC friends convinced the owners to let them use their luxury condo on the beach instead. So when we got here, we had already spent loads of time here last summer while at surf camp! So, the whole thing was familiar to my son and me. Then we met some of the neighbors. They were former good friends and neighbors of Donna’s and Steve’s. Then at the pool we met a gal from Indiana . As it turned out, her husband and his employee who was coming to stay worked in Mississippi on similar projects. So many cross over’s. Then, other things were happening! Our closest friends J and E from Winter Park happened to plan a trip to Pensacola too. And after talking further we found out that not only did E. go to Auburn a few years ahead of Donna and me, but he went to Donna’s high school in Birmingham! Then, several work things started happening. My friend M. from NYC shared some work contracts with me that I needed to find and she just happened to be working on the same thing at the same time I was. Then she suggested I take a class in a particular area, and I happened to get an email from a friend in Orlando who told me she was not available for a networking event I invited her to because she was teaching a class. Yep! The one I needed to take! I just keep watching these little synchronicities unfold and am amazed at how it all seems to fit so seamlessly. Things that we need, from special conversations with loved ones to new clients calling, keep popping up, and when I pray for something else, it seems to appear. It must mean that our life is in sync at the moment. My family is at rest with people that we love and who love us, and there is such a great feeling of contentment in the air. It’s such a welcome thing after such a difficult year that we’re leaving behind.
I’m now believing that seamless way of living will continue, and that I can have the faith that whatever we need as a family will manifest whether it be love, friends, or a tangible such as finances.

So as we go into the New Year, I welcome a simple way of life and hope and pray that we can be satisfied with whatever comes our way as we pursue our goals in our family and our businesses. And not only be satisfied, but truly know that that is exactly how things are supposed to be.

Because being in sync is truly a wonderful way to live.

Who am I? - by Liimu

2008-12-29T20:37:00.004-05:00

I am in Orlando this week, enjoying some sunshine with my two eldest daughters and one of my oldest and dearest friends. I am also working my tushy off, trying to wrap up some projects that are ending soon, and trying to make sure I solidify work beginning in 2009. I'm also blogging like a good little Do-Bee, because my day is Monday and I don't want to let the group down. (Let's not even talk about the 8,000 e-mails that the BTS gals have been circulating around about logos, t-shirts, radio shows, talk shows, agents, and all the other amazing STUFF that the Universe has swirling around us as we get this project off the ground. Needless to say, I have NOT been on top of responding to those.)

As I struggle to stay on top of all that stuff, I'm also struggling to stay on top of all the other stuff that embodies who I am. I'm a recovering alcoholic - will I be able to get to a meeting? I have body image stuff, will I be able to get to the gym every day? (I did get there today...of course, then I had 3 pieces of pizza, but who's counting?) And of course, I'm a mom. Will I be able to get all the things in that my kids want? The mini golf? (Yes.) The swan paddle boats? (No.) The pool? (Yes.) Cafe Mickey? (Not without reservations 3 months in advance, thankyouverymuch.)

So, do I have to decide who I am? Do I have to pick the top three pieces of me to prioritize and just hang up the rest for the next vacation or for when it's all over? Or, do I continue to try my best to meet all the needs of the various areas of my life? For today, I'm okay with not doing everything perfectly, but trying to do the best I can in all areas.

Just for today, my clients are still my clients.
Just for today, my kids still love me and I still fit into size 12 jeans.
Just for today, a hot bath and a cup of sleepytime tea is still a better solution for my stress than a vodka gimlet.

I guess that will have to do...just for today.

Silent "Night" Stuff (& New Year's) - by Robin

2008-12-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

Friends are asking me this week, what are you doing for New Year's Eve?

I don't celebrate Christmas, and we're already in the throes of Hanukkah.

So, next up is the coming of 2009. (Wow...time goes fast!)

When I was single, I typically felt compelled to have plans. And, they were the type of plans that promoted socializing. Since my hope to was to one day get married (which I did), then staying home wasn't high on the list I allowed myself to have.

I recall one year, in particular, where all I wanted to do was stay home and relax, but I forced myself to go to a party with a friend, and it turned out to be a total bust. I was later mad at myself for not granting myself permission to chill and practice self care.

Another year, I recall going to see THE COLOR PURPLE in the movie theatre with my folks. (My mom has since passed away.) And, I was so totally moved by it and adored Whoopi Goldberg. It was such a cool film to see on New Year's Eve, and to this day, the memory of it sticks with me.

Not just did I love the film, and spending quality time with my parents, but I allowed myself to be true to what was calling out to me. Rather than hustle to go to a random party or singles event, I enjoyed the moment and gave into what I most wanted to do. And, that made it special.

It's so easy to get swayed by others and even our own thoughts. I am great at telling myself what I SHOULD be doing vs. listening to my inner voice that might have others plans that ultimately will have more meaning in the grand scheme of life. Does that mean I might have to live in the gray a bit? Sure. We can't always get things figured out or laid out for us in an orderly fashion when we want it.

That said, I sit in my home office, as I write this blog, wondering what the new year has in store. I look out my window onto the snowy streets of New York and realize that from day to day things change. Just a few days ago, there was no snow, and now things are white...beautiful...yet messy.

Life isn't always clean. And, we're in a constant state of flux. Accepting that can be liberating and exciting because cool things can be around the corner.

This year, I refuse to make resolutions. That puts too much pressure on me, and I need less stress in my life. But, I would like to put forth some positive thoughts and aspirations.

Mostly, I want to be happy and healthy. And, I wish the same for those I love...and for you.

I'd like to have less fear.

I'd like to surrender to the universe more and have the faith that good will come.

I'd like to believe that I have more strength than I acknowledge.

I'd like to trust that I am a good mom, friend, spouse, daughter, etc.

I'd like to continue to connect with those who can support and share, without judgment.

This is what comes to mind for now.

I don't think it's a lot to ask, because I know much of it is already within me if I can tune in to my inner wisdom.

I wish for you that you cultivate the power this coming year, if you don't already, to listen to what really calls out to you. And, you will hear it mostly loudly and clearly the more quiet you get. So, I wish you "silence" in 2009. You deserve it. G-d bless.

My Grown-Up Christmas List! by Kelly

2008-12-25T01:47:00.011-05:00

I’ve celebrated many Christmas Seasons over the years and have always enjoyed the celebrations, the festivities, the shopping, the baking, the beautiful packages and lights… ahhhhhh what a festive and joyful time of year!

Most of those years, like many people, I was ‘hoping for this’ and/or ‘wishing for that'---always having a list of things I’d like to receive.

Few people in my ‘current’ world know that for many years, I also sang solos in Church… and one of the songs I sang (that touched my heart then and even more deeply today) is again my list of What I’d Like For Christmas this year!

I hope you enjoy the song's message as much as I do!

My Grown-Up Christmas List!
(David Foster & Linda Thompson Jenner)

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I'm all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal a hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
that wars would never start
and time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
and right would always win
and love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas List

What is this illusion called
The innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief
Can we ever find the truth

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end

This is my grown-up Christmas list
This is my ONLY Lifelong Wish
This is my grown-up Christmas list!

May your Christmas be all you hoped and a wonderful time of peace, joy, happiness and harmony in all areas of your life!

Sharing A Love That Never Ends...

Kelly

T’was the Night Before Christmas!

2008-12-24T17:42:00.001-05:00

It’s almost time… the gifts are wrapped.. and Santa has shopped.. and the stockings are hung by the chimney with care… ready to be stuffed!!!

Tonight, at my parents house, will be most of my family getting together to celebrate the birth of the Christ Jesus. We’ll eat, drink and pray, and thank God for our health and for our time on this earth.

Among us, are stressed out parents, brothers and sisters, kids, teens, and even a fiancé who will be at the celebration. We all live very, very different lives, but for the first time this year, we’ll come together as a family and enjoy one another.

We will be at my parents house, who are deeply spiritual people, and who live such selfless and dedicated lives to their families.. more than most people I’ve ever met. My dad is not only the head of the house hold, but a spiritual giant among us, and both he and my mom will be celebrating to have their family there, celebrating the Birth of Christ.

The older I get, the more I think about Jesus being born only 2008 years ago. When we view dinosaur remains in museums that were millions of years ago, a couple of thousand doesn’t seem like such a long time ago. And the more I understand the deep importance of being a mother, the more respect I have for Jesus’ mother Mary, who gave birth they say as a young teenager, and watched her son die a tortured death at the young age of 33.

So tonight, my dad will pray a beautiful prayer to Jesus, who we recognize as God the Son, part of God the Father, and the Holy Spirit… three in one. We will thank Him for being born, and for coming into the world to give us a new direction saving us from our sins.

Then we’ll eat, and drink and open gifts, and then we’ll all go home to wait for Santa and his reindeer. Tomorrow, when we awake, Santa will have arrived, we’ll open the gifts and then we’ll go to mass, and then we’ll spend the day playing with the toys he brought!

The rush is almost done.. I have a few things to do before the 7PM arrival time… but the calm before the storm has arrived.

Blessed be to everyone on this Christmas Eve… Bless us everyone!!!

Life is... - by Liimu

2008-12-22T10:27:00.003-05:00

I was in Target today buying some things for my newly organized home office and came across a beautiful framed picture that said something like, "Embrace the struggles, because in the struggles lie perseverance and in the perseverance lies hope."

Well, that is a very nice saying, but you know what? I'm not going to put something up on my wall about the struggles in my life. I will embrace them as they come, but I'm certainly not going to invite them in for tea and then ask them to take up permanent residence in my main living space.

Life is happening. And life is good.

I am happy. The fifth and final person in my house (my husband) just got knocked on his butt by a stomach bug, but he's lying here next to me sleeping peacefully, as are our three daughters, and since I got it first (exactly one week ago), I am pretty sure he'll be feeling much better by the morning. I had a wonderfully productive weekend this weekend - got the girls off to see Santa, finally, and took a beautiful picture of the three of them with the man of the hour. My husband even came with us, despite feeling ill, and despite the fact that the Eagles were playing tonight. I also got the Christmas shopping DONE this weekend, including the stocking stuffers.

Life is happening, and life is good.

My family has been really pulling me toward the brink of insanity, as I have come to believe the word insanity should be defined: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Without going into details, let me just tell you that I had to have a third party tell me on more than one occasion that I am running the risk of becoming dangerously codependent with my family...again. This is dangerous because my disease is a many pronged-weapon of mass destruction (albeit less mass than I was sporting three months ago...ha ha ha). So, just for today I made some tough decisions so that I could continue to grow and recover.

Life is happening, and life is good.

I got the evaluation back from an editor I hired to take a look at my first ever, full-length fiction novel. She said there were some good things about it, but the long and short of it is that I have to start over. Fortunately, I'm enrolled in a writing workshop in February that promises to give me the building blocks I need for starting a novel, not rewriting one, so that worked out perfectly. Because guess what?

Life is happening, and life is good.

I cannot complain because things continue to turn out so much better than I could have ever dreamed or hoped for. And for now, I'm falling asleep as I type this so that means I should leave it here for now. Just remember these words - life is going to happen, whether you allow it to or not. And the main influencer for how your life is going to go is you and your thoughts. So, do you want it to be a good life, or a life filled with struggles and misery? Because you can decide it will be a good life. The struggles will come, life will happen. But only you can decide if you will focus on the struggles, or the good life you have been blessed with. The choice is yours.

Accidental Stuff - by Robin

2008-12-19T11:00:00.001-05:00

Amazing what a difference a few days can make.

Last Tuesday, my 80 something mother-in-law babysat for us for a couple of hours so we could go to a parent teacher meeting at my son's school.

Just four days later, she wound up in the emergency room of our local hospital. She had fallen in her kitchen and broke her right wrist. She is right-handed, so this was painful and awkward, to say the least. She needed surgery on Sunday, and now has a bandage tighthly woven on her arm/wrist and has to keep it in a cumbersome foam device so that the hand can be elevated...and sleep in it. And, she's already not a great sleeper, so this doesn't help.

Since she lives alone, we offered to have her come stay with us for a couple of nights.

Life is so hugely unpredictable. From one moment to the next, we don't know what is in store. The good. The bad. The challenging. The gray. Etc.

When I was driving home from the gym last night, I found myself thinking about how quickly things can happen. In a flash, my mother in law tripped over her slippers and that was that. She was kicking herself afterwards, but the damage was done.

These things happen. Accidents arise quickly.

You just never know what lies around the corner.

Life has many ups 'n downs, and largely, it's how you react to them.

I've always been someone who relishes control, even though I realize more 'n more how little of it we have. We can control decisions but not the outcomes.

If life always went completely smoothly, without any bumps or bruises along the way, then I guess we wouldn't fully appreciate the good or realize how fortunate we are. It's so easy to take things for granted, especially when it comes to your health.

As I see my mother-in-law struggle to use her left hand, it makes me all the more grateful to have the use of my arms and legs. I realize not everyone does. And, to be able to get around and function on the most simplistic level...like typing this blog post right now.

I find myself stepping carefully around my home now. I was quick to wipe up a water spill in the kitchen.

I'm going to do what I can to practice saftely in the home, and that's a good place to start.

Happy, healthy & safe holidays to you & your family. And, check out our new social networking communities for beyondthestuff on facebook.com and linked.com. Come join us there!

"More of Those Please!" by Kelly

2008-12-18T11:54:00.005-05:00

So… the news is on, you’ve read the paper, you're hanging out with people who recently lost their job, or you know someone else who has and are talking about it… have you noticed (felt and taken the time to experience) what happens INSIDE OF YOU when you surround yourself with words, thoughts and the emotions of fear?

If you are paying attention to your thoughts, you’ll find yourself 30 minutes away from the experience or conversation and discover yourself thinking fear-filled thoughts… suddenly worrying about YOUR job, YOUR economic future, certain it means gloom and doom for you and so much more! You will notice one thought leads to another like it, and another like it, until your mind is filled with fear for YOUR future. This is the way most people allow their thoughts to be influenced everyday.

Do you find your thoughts creating these unwanted scenarios in your mind, focusing again and again on fear-filled ideas rather than purposefully focusing on what you really want in life?

Every day when I wake up, I have the opportunity to make a choice to create the life of my dreams by focusing my thoughts intentionally... and so do you. In life, we are afforded the opportunity to make choices all day, every day about WHERE to place our attention and on WHATEVER topic we choose. As each day unfolds with new experiences, people and situations occurring all around us, we again have the choice to choose HOW we want to focus on the situation at hand---thereby creating our current and future life experience.

I like to keep things simple, so I think of my life as the keeper of an incredible garden of choices (flowers) and everyday I get to pick and choose which flowers I will bring from the garden into my home (my life experience).

As I go out into the world (my garden of life), I see all types of flowers, some are blooming, some are not. Some are weeds! Some have the most sacred beautiful aroma and some; well to me they don’t smell so pretty. BUT in the end, they are all part of the garden of life, and I have the choice to accept all the flowers to be as they are.

So everyday I head out with my basket to pick flowers… “Ohhhh I love those pink ones and yes, I like that purple one… but Ack! I don’t love those yellow ones at all!” And right there, in that moment is where I get to make the most important choice of my day. I can choose to spend the rest of my day focusing on how much I wish the yellow flowers were pink, I can bemoan that my garden has icky yellow flowers that have no smell in the first place, or in fear I could even choose to RUN FROM the yellow flowers… I’m making an important point… are you getting it?

It’s such a silly, simple example and yet this is how most of us live our lives anytime something we don’t like pops up! In my own experience, (even as I continue growing and changing) I discover I find things I don’t love or like and instead of just seeing them there (yellow flowers), I attach ALL sorts of old mental stories, drama, angst and then in that vibration of thought I RUN from that which I don’t want only to find I’m now attracting MORE of it into my experience. And then later, I’m surprised to find I’m surrounded in my garden of life with an abundance of YELLOW flowers---exactly what I didn’t want.

Do you see the inherent wisdom in exercising your powerful option to purposefully 'choose your thoughts' and how that applies to ANY situation?

As the Holidays quickly approach, it is the most joyful and yet the most stressful time of year for many people. The Stuff of family, presents, expectations and “shoulds” is more prevalent now than at any other time of year. I encourage you to think of everything and everyone throughout the season as nothing more than a flower growing in the garden of life. Do your best to allow all things to be as they are, exercising your power to choose and then focus again on what you want in life. I promise, with thoughts like that, it will be your best Holiday experience… EVER!

Empower yourself today to make your own choices and focus only on what you want to create in YOUR garden of life… “Oh Yes! I love the purple and pink ones… More Of Those Please!”

Too Much Stuff to Do! - by Mary

2008-12-17T19:49:00.003-05:00

(This is the fun stuff we should concentrate on - fun with friends..and oh... Kelly Ripa!

Can you believe it? It’s one week until Christmas Eve! And from everyone that I’m talking to, everyone has too much stuff on their plates!

Teachers gifts and parties, cookies to send to school, planning Christmas eve parties and dinners, trips out of town, parents getting sick, people stressed and having upsets with each other, presents to buy, people who are sick that we’re attending to, company parties, finding stuff to wear, holiday cards to send, and the list goes on.

No wonder my sister said she’d like to skip the festivities this year. It’s so much stress building up to a special day (or 8 days if you’re Jewish) and so many responsibilities and expectations, that everyone ends up stressed out and pooped out!

Why do we do that to ourselves? Did you know that there have been studies done where one week after Christmas, they’ve interviewed people on the street to ask what presents they got and most people can’t even remember the gifts they received? I’ve heard its true in many cases although certainly not all. And what about the food? Does it really matter if we spend hours and hours and hours in the kitchen, or if we run by Cosco and pick up some appetizers and make a pretty tray? People are still going to enjoy the food and not really care if you or a professional labored over it.

I’m like everyone else. I’ve crammed my schedule so tight for the next few days that today I almost felt like I was hyperventilating. I didn’t have time to talk with my mom or my friend who called to share some good news, and I haven’t finished up some work that one of my clients is waiting for. I’ll be working tonight, after my son is in bed, just to get all of these things done.

But just to be clear, I have tried to make things easy. I shopped at one place this year for nearly all of my gifts. It was a HUGE find – The Goodwill Boutique – which has nearly new or totally new items for sale.. that were all donated. I’ve gotten so many amazing things for family members.. all with brand new tags on them. And, regarding shopping for the teachers, I contributed to the “pot” and I’m done. I skipped numerous holiday parties so I didn’t have to get new clothes and I didn’t have to think about buying gifts as house warming gifts. I’m not doing Christmas cards, but will send New Years wishes in January instead. For food for the holiday party- I am shopping at Cosco and I’m working as much as I can while I have the time, and keeping to my work out schedule and keeping my son on schedule. Basically, I’m not going all out to make everyone happy, but I hope to connect with a few special people and hope to add to their Christmas cheer.

I’ve become very, very clear, that I just can’t do it all. But guess what? None of us can. We might do it, but what happens in the process? We stress out to the max and end up frazzled as a result. It’s not worth it to me. Today wasn’t the “feeling” space where I want to be… feeling like my heart was going to pop out of my chest, because I just couldn’t squeeze it all in.

So over the next few days, if someone cuts you off in line at the grocery store, or makes a bad move in the car, or says a sarcastic or cutting remark to you that you feel offended by, try to give that person a break. Realize that they’re under intense pressure like the rest of us, and that they’re trying to do too much stuff. If you give them the gift of just letting it go, and smiling at them and sending them some positive vibes.. you’ll be doing them and yourself and the world.. a good and uplifting thing.

Spread a little peace, enjoy those who are special to you.... and don’t try to do too much stuff!!!

This is the important stuff.... enjoy those special relationships!!!

Perfectionist Stuff - by Liimu

2008-12-15T07:02:00.000-05:00

I'm a perfectionist. It's a well-known trait of many alcoholics and drug addicts that we have a very all-or-nothing attitude. If we can't do things perfectly, we'd rather not do them at all. When I was growing up, my sisters and brother would be patiently coming at video games or their homework or whatever again and again, patient and willing to keep trying until they figured it out. Me? If I didn't figure it out right off the bat, I would throw the Nintendo joystick at the television and stalk off in a huff. Fortunately, there were many things I picked up quickly, so I was never at a total loss for things to do.

The problem is, perfectionism doesn't work so well in real life. It's an extremely unrealistic standard to strive to achieve. Like with food and eating. I woke up this morning realizing that what I thought were menstrual cramps were actually the beginnings of a stomach virus. Well, once I realized I wasn't going to eat my regular breakfast of egg whites and oatmeal, it was off to the races. I'm either all the way in or all the way out. That's quite a bit of pressure to have on yourself all the time and it leaves me precariously teetering on the edge of "F*** it-ville" all the time. (For those of you who haven't visited F*** it-ville, consider yourselves lucky. It's quite a depressing place.)

So, here I am, back in F*** it-ville, and homesick for my normal state of self-acceptance and contentment. I'll get there. Thank goodness it only takes prayer and hard work to get there. 'Cause as good ole Dorothy said, "There's no place like home..."

The Stuff Vibes Are Made Of - by Robin

2008-12-11T21:07:00.006-05:00

We all give off vibes whether we know it or not. I've always been aware of this, and in fact often discuss it when I'm wearing my Love Coach hat and lecturing to singles re: the need to be conscious of how you come across to the opposite sex.

But, it's not just about dating and socializing.

It's about how we live our daily lives and how we come across to others. The energy we project and the energy we invite into our lives.

This particularly came to my attention during a recent trip.

I was visiting a friend in South Carolina, and we were shopping and browsing in one particular store. She was trying on some skirts and tops, and I was sharing with her where I'm at with my career. I was questioning where I'm heading. Discussing the need to attract more monetary opportunities. Talking about some pursuits I've long had on my To Do list, wondering when and if I might get to them one day.

She was listening thoughtfully and lending me a very supportive ear.

Out of the blue, the sales girl in the store came over to me, and asked if she could ask me an "odd" question. She didn't want to make me uncomfortable, but wanted to know if it was okay if she gave me a hug.

I was pretty taken aback at the moment, but said "sure".

She said she just felt like I needed one.

I found that quite curious since she hadn't been listening to my discussion with my friend, and for the moment, I didn't get why she'd think I had that need. But, then it occurred to me that I was feeling a little sad and lost when chatting with my friend, and clearly the universe picked up that vibe. And, the sales girl readily tuned into it and reach out.

How totally sweet that was of her. It was so very touching. And, it heightened my awareness of the "stuff" that vibes are made of. Amazing how a tone of voice, body language, energy, etc. when put out there can be so easily picked up by someone wish a deep sense of awareness. And, how supportive for someone to connect with me on that level. It was truly appreciated.

So, don't hesitate to wear your "stuff" on your sleeve, because you never know when someone might give you a hug. And, the same can be said of you. The more self aware we become, the better able we are to be there for someone else in need. If we're all caught up on our own stuff, we can't really hear or feel for others. So, let it out as best you can. Find an empathetic ear. Or meditate. But, release, and invite the positive vibes to take over.

Technology STUFF by Kelly

2008-12-11T12:50:00.006-05:00

Technology Stuff…

Are you a technological buff or is it that you simply can’t find your way around the latest iphone? (Or are you somewhere in-between?)

Technology stuff, for me, has always been a bit of ‘burden’. I LOVE what it does, how it makes my life easier and all the super cool things my life contains because of it, AND I don’t always like having to go through all the books and instructions trying figure it out. It mostly feels like work to plod my way through all the ‘details’ and mistakes I make along the way. BIG Ugh!

As you may have guessed, whenever I mention a defeating pattern of behavior I’ve become aware of in myself, I typically go searching for the origin--where this ‘type of thinking’ on this subject came from---and then also I seek answers so I can effectively change my future. And this topic of technology is no different.

What I came up with is my old nemesis—FEAR! What? Fear of Technology? Well, not exactly… it’s more like fear of what will happen when I play with technology---when I don’t know what I’m doing, when I don’t know how to fix it.

Having crashed a computer or two… or three (years ago)… and having children who downloaded things that caused a myriad of struggles in my business life when my computer no longer functioned properly---and NOT knowing how to fix it quickly and easily myself… created a space of fear about trying new things with any sort of technology.

Most recently, I’ve had a series of THREE brand new printers that for some reason unknown to me, keep failing when I really need them and all the time and energy spent replacing, re-installing them, etc. is my least favorite thing to do. I found this frustrating, irritating, and annoying because again, I didn’t know how to get things moving again quickly and easily. (And you can’t believe how I miss my fax/copier/printer when it is not functioning properly).

As you can see… I wasn’t focusing in a positive manner (which is the fastest way to change ANYTHING in life)! I wasn’t being present in the moment and accepting that what is, IS WHAT IS, until I recently made an internal shift to just be ‘okay’ with whatever was up in my ‘printer gone wrong world’, and began choosing BETTER thoughts about me, technology and how we could play better together in the future!

I decided I’d had enough of this Fear of Technology life I was experiencing based on past happenings and past programming and have now mentally named 2009 The Year Kelly Soars WITH Technology (rather than against it!)

Every day when I vision (and I do vision my future every day) how 2009 will look and feel for me, my thoughts and vision boards now always include the latest, greatest technology pieces coming to AID me in all my work and play endeavors… from the fun of wii to exciting new software and hardware of all types and sorts---all with FUN in the learning. FUN people to guide me along the way and FUN people showing up right on cue if things don’t go according to plan.

In essence, I’ve decided that for me, technology is NOT to be feared because I fear the mistakes I might make (out with that defeating pattern of thinking), it is actually an incredibly valuable tool that CAN be fun in the learning and growing phases… and from here on, I simply won’t see it any other way!

It’s funny how throughout life, we ‘think’ one thing is going on (in this case, technology mishaps)… and later, we discover it is just another way that fear and doubt are surfacing so we can see them for what they really are (thereby dismantling them) and begin again with new choices of thought and behavior that will bring us a better life!

Stay tuned as 2009 rolls around to keep me on track! If you also struggle with the fear of technology from time to time, feel free to join my journey… the more the merrier I always say!

Focus on the Stuff that Matters - by Mary

2008-12-10T11:58:00.003-05:00

It is no secret that raising a child with special needs is a daily challenge. But a friend recently shared very, very short statement with me that made a big difference on how I handle my day. I was sharing about the issues I deal with on a daily basis and I telling him about how we have to control every single piece of the environment in our world in order to have a normal day with my son. I shared with him that the external things in my world are also very busy and demanding and sometimes I just get in a state of overwhelm. I feel so incredibly blessed to have the “BTS gals” with whom I can share these daily issues and they’re always quick to help me see the positive amidst the trials.

He told me this: “Focus on What Matters”

Wow… that was so enlightening to me at the moment! It means that I know clearly that the absolute most important thing to me is that my son has a safe and comfortable home, is eating well, and all of his needs are taken care of, and his body, mind, soul and spirit are nurtured. Because he has Sensory Processing Disorder issues, his body gets out of whack quite often and it causes a lot of disruption in our daily routine. If he has an overload of sugar, like one or two ice cream cones, his body reacts so severely that he wakes up at night, thrashing and in turmoil. Then the next day, clothes feel uncomfortable and then we’re late for school.

At this point, controlling our environment, and every single second of his life, is what I have to do in order for our lives to work. I monitor his food, his food intake, to make sure it’s healthy, nutritious and without preservatives. His clothes have to be soft and worn, his hair has to be short or it can cause us to spend an hour fighting it, and he has to do intense exercise every single day, which means swim practice daily (see pic above!) , trampoline jumping or rip stick riding.

Homework is another challenge, and so depending upon the day, it might or might not get done. If he’s uncomfortable, there is no use trying to hurry him up, because he’d react to that, so we have to decide.. what matters more.. him being late or him being comfortable and feeling loved? I choose love.

I can’t say I was always like that! For years, before I knew all of this about my son, I would rush him and hurry him and stress him out… and be completely stressed over the situation. I worried about him getting to school on time, about being respectful of others times, of him getting to say the pledge of allegiance and him not getting a tardy remark. I think of all of the upsets we have had over the years with me not figuring out what would work for HIM first and having everything else come second after him and his special needs.

At this point, we’ve suffered through many years of NOT knowing, that now I’m completely dedicated to helping OTHER families find these things out early so they won’t have to stress and struggle with knowing what to do on a daily basis.

So what about you? What matters most to you? Is it a certain project that you’re working on? If so, what are you doing on a daily basis to support that to happen? Is it your health? Are you committed to being healthy or losing weight? Are you doing everything in your power to support that every second of every day? Is it your children? Do you want them to be excellent students or top notch athletes?

In order for me to be strong enough mentally and physically to handle all of the demands that my personal life takes, I’ve had to move my own health up to a very high priority in my life. I have to feel good in order to handle these complications so they don’t stress me out so I don’t also loose control. And because I’ve done this, I’ve found that I’ve found that I have EXTRA strength, that allows me to be there for my son, for my family, and to give energy to the work that I’m doing and the cause that I’m dedicated to.

So the thought for the day, is to Focus on What Matters! And by clearing out the STUFF that gets in the way of what really matters, and focusing your heart and soul in that direction, and take care of yourself so you have the energy to do what it takes to get it all done, you’ll actually be more effective at doing all of the other stuff that needs to get done.

Amazing, simple, easy, but life changing concept!

Focus on What Matters!

Good Stuff - By Liimu

2008-12-08T07:00:00.001-05:00

This past weekend, I spent with four of the most incredible women I have ever met. The Beyond the Stuff gals! Although we were together to solidify the foundation of a business we are jointly growing, what we achieved was beyond our wildest dreams - we developed a friendship with each other, a bond formed out of our shared hope that we might inspire others to become their best selves through our shared experience and ability to overcome hardship.

It was incredible. As I was driving to the airport, I was overcome with gratitude for where God has brought me in just under 2 years. Two years ago, I was trapped in a dead-end job, unable to sleep for the horrible nightmares that used to plague me when I closed my eyes, skin plagued with acne, never feeling like I was able to give enough to my family, to myself, to the world. Unsure of what my purpose was in life, other than to stay sober.

Over the past 18 months, I have received message after message from the Universe that I have a special gift to share with the world - my voice. Through singing, writing, speaking - I can carry the message that God can transform fear into faith, love and hope. That anyone can have a life worth living, a life of joy and freedom.

So there I was, driving up Route 17 and all of a sudden, tears of joy started falling down my cheeks and I was sobbing and laughing, wiping my eyes furiously so I wouldn't crash! I was singing Journey's "Faithfully" at the top of my lungs, realizing that I would be forever faithful to God, no matter what.

I don't consider myself to be a particularly religious person. In fact yesterday, I was talking to a pastor of a local church, telling him about the gospel CD I intend to record this year, about the book I fully expect will get published and will encourage others to live their lives out loud, about our upcoming talk show and how we hope to uplift people who are struggling more than they ever have in their lives in these uncertain times. All he kept asking me was, "What church do you belong to? What church do you belong to?" Well, I don't belong to a church. But I pray every day, all day. And I am part of a spiritual fellowship, through which I have been doing service to my community for years. I am one of the most faithful, devoted, God-centered people I know, but no, I don't belong to a church.

I belong to God.

Keeping Track of Stuff -- by Robin

2008-12-05T10:00:00.002-05:00

I'm away on a business/pleasure trip and had been making a list for some time re: things to go before I left, things to pack, things to remember upon my return, etc.

Friends and others make "fun" of me...in a loving way...that I'm "so organized". It's funny. At times I actual wonder if I have a bit of an "anal" tendency, but then I decide it's not about that. Any, why put myself down for being detail-minded?

I create a system for myself, and it works most of the time.

My dad was over this past weekend, and saw me making notations already on a 2009 calendar. He commented that he doesn't do that. But, I have a 5 year old, I explained, and life can get busy. We do a lot of planning, and of course, things arise spontaneously as well. And, if for example, we get play tickets, you do purchase them in advance, and you sure don't want to forget when you are going, with the price of Broadway these days.

We booked my son's 5th birthday party for March and sent out the invitations this weekend. Yes...it was planning way ahead...but lots of kids party places get so booked up, it's crazy. And, one of my friends already asked me when his party would be because she was making some plans.

Interestingly, I then, received an email from one of the moms who said we'd likely to have to remind invitees in February. That people will lose the invitation, forget about the party, etc.

This same mom asked about my experiences having a Blackberry. She wondered if she should get one. If I have found it to be helpful organization-wise.

Now you may be thinking I'm an organization pro, but truly, that is not the case. I have tons of piles of paperwork in my office that in a perfect world would be neatly filed away. But, it's how I work, and while I dislike clutter, I put up with it.

But, when it comes to my "to do list", if I don't write it down, it doesn't happen. I have piles of post-it pads that I use regularly, and I am known to carry my hard-covered daily planner with me. That way, I am always prepared if something arises that I need to schedule.

My trainer at the gym can never remember when we reschedule an appointment. Frankly, it's irritating. Is it a crime to have some semblance of organization? And, if you run a business, don't you need to? So, she always asks me to call and remind her re: a workout time, if it has changed. But, why is that my job? To pick up the slack for her because she doesn't have a system of remembering?

My dad is a CPA, and I think I inherited his detail-minded mind. And, I'm proud of it.

How do you live your life and keep track of things?

Do you feel justified in putting your "stuff" on others and asking them to call or write to remind you of things?

I'm curious to know your story.

NOW is all You've Got! by Kelly K. Brown

2008-12-04T00:10:00.003-05:00

Can you believe we are already at the end of another whole year? As I look back on my own Journey, 2008 flew by in a whirlwind of unprecedented change in just about every single area of my life, both personal and business, as well as to most every single person I know.

As you look back over this year, take a few moments to think about the topic of your most prevalent conversations---the major themes running behind most of your thoughts. What have they been about?

Foreclosures?
The Economy?
Government Bailout Programs?
The Election?
Speculation on Your Future?

Or maybe it was something else, such as paying bills, finding a job, wondering how your business (as you knew it) can survive in the economic wind of change we all just experienced and are currently experiencing.

As you think back to your conversations and thoughts over the past year, do any similar patterns come to mind? Does any ONE way of feeling stand out? i.e. were you mostly scared, worried, hopeful, angry, insightful, frustrated---or maybe even depressed?

In the world of normal things, most people (if the news is anything to go by) are feeling very negative--some would say with very good reason---and many are experiencing many other emotions that fall into the ‘negative’ category!

If you’ve been thinking and feeling that way, I have a question…

“So, How’s That Been Working For You?”

I ask with the most sincere, heartfelt intentions (as I also ask myself anytime I allow myself to wander off track from a positive mindset). Understand, I get the circumstances are all true---I know none of us are making this up---the economy that currently is… IS what is!

And here’s my point, ask yourself honestly…

Has talking about it, being worried about it, or losing sleep over it ever changed ANYTHING?

Probably not…at least not toward the good anyway! In fact, it is far more likely that the more you focused on it (what you don’t love about what happened this year economically) the more stuff happened, the more you saw it on the news, the more you read about it—some of you may have even found yourself popping up with various ailments and illnesses ‘totally out of the blue’. Consider this: “Will continuing to think and speak those same things in the same way will change anything as 2009 rolls around?”

Here’s the thing… all we have is this NOW moment! That’s really all we ever have---the past can’t be changed, the future is our hope, but definitely not our certainty as no one has the promise of the next breath, let alone tomorrow.

In reading and following my articles or blogs, you are already aware you aren’t your stuff, you aren’t what you have or lost, you aren’t what people say or think… none of that is WHO YOU TRULY ARE (imagine a 3-month terminal illness diagnosis and this will be abundantly clear in seconds)… so if all those things are true and NOW is all You’ve Got---wouldn’t it be just as easy to hope, believe, think and speak that things will somehow be okay, and that you will find a way regardless of the outer circumstances of the economy—no matter what actually happens?

Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not (“that which is like unto itself is drawn”), most everyone agrees with the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy---

“Think you can, think you can’t, either way you’re right”!

Are you beginning to see the intrinsic value for you and everyone around you that even while acknowledging in the briefest terms possible what is (the current economy), that a positive mindset, conversation, hope and belief can only bring good to you? Mentally, physically, relationally---everything works out better FOR YOU when you find ways to focus your intentions positively for today and tomorrow.

Does this mean you have THE answer to everything upfront, right this minute? Does this mean you KNOW what tomorrow will bring? “Do we ever?” is probably a much better question!

From my own extensive life experience, here’s what I know for sure!

Ø When faced with a 6-month life expectancy terminal illness diagnosis (within our family), a positive outlook, mindset and faith saved a life! (Yes, I plunked down $35k on a credit card IN ADVANCE of knowing the outcome or that a remission or cure was even possible!)

Ø When there was no money to cover a $14k per month medical treatment---focusing on what I wanted with a firm belief I would be taken care of no matter what---more than sufficient money arrived—and quite honestly there was, in the end, quite an abundance.

Ø When I was down to less than $6 thousand dollars at one point---with no job, no money and no prospects… an out-of-the blue miracle occurred and I was subsequently funded for almost 2 years.

Ø My parents house and every bill they had were paid off completely with money left over (along with cancer bills, surgery and treatment that had not yet occurred) when by miracle of miracles just a month prior to illness diagnosis, my Dad was put into a national restaurant chain commercial on television. No, he was not an actor of any kind before or since. Health Insurance was also provided- absolutely FREE!

I share these few instances (and there are so many more I could share), for no reason other than to inspire you. To give you a renewed confidence, that with faith, hope, a positive mindset and focused intentions on a positive outcome that you cannot yet see, let alone imagine, miracles do happen---and they can happen for YOU!

An idea that never before occurred to you will cross your mind, an opportunity from the craziest unknown place will surface suddenly or someone will introduce you to someone else who will forever change the course of your life. You know from your own past experience, this is exactly how it happens, right? Our current economy is not bigger than our world history, which tells us “things always get better”!

Does this mean that life is then forevermore perfect? No, my life is not yet perfect, but your NOW moments will FEEL better and better all the time (because you will be choosing your thoughts everyday). You will begin to have a strong inner confidence that ‘what is, is meant to be’ (i.e. you no longer fight reality), but you DO consciously focus on what you WANT in the midst of reality anyway!

As 2009 is right around the corner, Now Is All You’ve Got! Maybe NOW is the time to notice your patterns of thought and speech… your inner beliefs. Maybe NOW is the time to purposefully begin focusing your thoughts, speech and intentions on exactly What You Want! When would be a better time than NOW?

Dreaming Only of The Journey I Want…

Kelly K. Brown

The Fun Stuff that I Love! - by Mary

2008-12-03T00:07:00.001-05:00

This is me doing my favorite sport- SWIMMING!!!

Me loving on a horsie!

So much of my life now is about working towards a completely healthy existence with my son, who has issues such as sensory processing disorder and ADHD. These things take a lot of my time and energy and have a lot to do with what I focus on… so I think I need a little reminder of another side to life.. and that is what is FUN! It’s so helpful to remember the OTHER sides of ourselves.. especially when we’re going through a very difficult time… so this exercise might be something that any of YOU might like to try.. if you feel you’re swimming up stream and not focusing on the fun in your life!

What about you.. have you written your list lately?
(This was me and my running buddies dressing up for the Jingle Mingle in Maitland, FL)

Here is my list of what I consider to be fun or things that I love!

I love being a bit out of the box, wacky and I love laughing loud!
I love to make other people laugh and I love to laugh when others are being funny!
I really enjoy spending time with good friends, shooting the breeze and acting silly.
I love to dress up and I have a ton of Halloween costumes, wigs and outfits that I drag out at all times of the year.. just for kicks!
I love to be around horses, and outside in nature!
I love shopping in flea markets, and second hand stores.. to see what bargins I can find.
I love writing.. it nurtures my soul. I have kept a journal since I was 12!
I enjoy live sports – Auburn football is my favorite!
I really enjoy reading a good book on a rainy day. And I love bookstores!
I love building a fire in the fireplace, and creating a cozy home environment!
I love texting, emailing and staying connected to friends- old and new!
I love France! I want to learn how to speak French and I love to hear others speak it!
I think it’s fun being a part of a large family – and feeling like I belong!
I think it’s awesome, fun and rewarding to have friends of other cultures that are different from mine.

(This is Scott... AKA Carrottop! He lives part time in Winter Park!)

I think coaching, interviewing or hanging with celebrities is fun. Celebrities.. are just fun to know!!!

I love coaching – the whole process of coaching is fun to me. I love seeing a person hit a discovery or realize something new that potentially can better his or her life!
I think dogs are cool. They’re so open, and generous and loving. I like to feel their energy and imagine what they’re saying. I think I can read their feelings pretty well.
I think it’s fun using intuition. I’m pretty good at it.
I think being a swimmer is great. I like to feel powerful in the water, and be able to swim butterfly well. Flying across the pool is a cool sensation! (SEE PIX ABOVE)

I think it’s fun to dress up and to look pretty. I enjoy looking and feeling good.
I think odd or different people are cool. I really get into their particular interests.. and how they got that way. I love all sorts of people.. old young, and I have quite a few eccentric friends. I’m accepting of however a person chooses to be.. I will probably ask why.. and be curious about them.
I think being around artists is fun. I love that they can create something in their minds first.. and then it comes out in their craft.
I think baking is fun. Okay.. I really just like to eat the sweets!
I think it’s fun that I can be “one of the guys”… or “one of the gals”.. I can easily fit in anywhere.. and I love that.
I think conferences are fun. I love learning and I love meeting new people!
I think doing live TV is GREAT! I love being on the spot and having to banter and match wits and HAVE to be “on”. I love it!
I think traveling is the most incredible. I love meeting people on planes, and in airports. I love seeing new cities and experiencing new places.
I think photography is fun. I’m not always that great at it.. but I like to try.
I think kids are fun. They speak their minds, don’t play head games and they know how to laugh freely!
I think being a mom is fun.. okay.. not always.. but sometimes! I like to create fun memories for my son.. and for his friends.. like cookie decorating parties, and pirate parties.. and crawling in the forts after they make them!
I think wine, coffee and tea are fun. Depending upon my mood.. I like them all!
I think building sandcastles are fun. I like to make mermaids, animals, and life size attractions.. for people walking on the beach to enjoy.
I think Disney World is fun. It’s a clean activity and great to go with friends!
I love walking on the beach.. and talking or just watching the people.
I think people watching at airports is a blast. I like guessing about the lives of the people who walk by. Charlotte airport is a terrific place to do that.. sitting in the white rocking chairs is the best place!
I think being pampered is wonderful! Nails, hair, massages.. all of that.. makes a person feel great.. and special!
Writing this blog was fun.. it makes me not feel like I’m stuck in life.. and that I have choices.. and can make things FUN.. or average.

I choose fun!

A Different Approach to Thanksgiving - Good Stuff! - by Liimu McGill

2008-12-01T07:51:00.001-05:00

This year, I decided to really pay attention to how I was feeling as invitations were flying around for Thanksgiving. My family is pretty spread out; I have one sister who lives 10 minutes away, and she had already committed to spending the holiday hosting her husband's 15-plus family members up from Virginia. My goal in any situation is to just let the Universe guide and direct how things go. That's how things usually end up turning out according the best Plan, the Divine Plan. So, that's what I went with this year.

My mother, who lives in North Carolina, usually comes up a couple weeks before or after Thanksgiving, to avoid having to pay the astronomical fares reserved for the holiday week. This year, she was scheduled to come up in early November, until she found out she had perforated her eardrum. She was nervous about flying and decided that she would come up for Thanksgiving, after all. Since my sister was hosting so much of her husband's family already, I offered to host and invited my mother-in-law and sister-in-law to join us. At the last minute, my mother got the green light from her doctor to fly up earlier in November, as planned, so I was left with hosting Thanksgiving, even though I had originally not intended to. I'm not yet at the place where I enjoy cooking, and I don't have others to help me, as my sister-in-law and mother-in-law usually arrive right in time for dinner.

Mentally checking it off my To Do list, I went to Whole Foods and pretty much ordered one of everything. Still, I dreaded even having to heat it up. I don't know where this Bah Humbug-ness was coming from, but I was keenly aware of it bubbling up every time I thought of the holiday that was materializing. I have Stuff - Stuff around food, Stuff around holidays, Stuff around having a To Do list packed with way to many things To Do in any given day. So, when the thought was planted in my head by the Universe that maybe this wasn't the way the Holiday had to go, I was all ears.

"Maybe you could just go OUT to dinner..."

Whoa. What's that? Now that's an interesting proposition. While I was ruminating on the possibility, my sister-in-law called to say that her mom had taken ill and probably wouldn't be up to coming for dinner. "What would you say to going out for dinner?" I asked her. "Sounds good to me," she replied, without hesitating. My husband had essentially the same reaction.

After a quick scan of the Internet to find the best kid-friendly restaurant in Philadelphia, Bridget Foy's, we were set with a reservation for 6 at 5:30. The girls got new dresses, we all got to eat wonderful food (and didn't have to worry about cooking it or cleaning up) and I am back on my abstinent food plan, skyrocketing toward my goal of losing 45 pounds by my next birthday. (See my Recreating Liimu blog for more information about that journey.)

Last night, as my husband and I were putting away the groceries, he said to me, "You know, this was a perfect holiday. We saw my family for a little bit, saw your family for a little bit, but really didn't overdo it. It was great."

My thoughts exactly.

Holiday Stuff - by Robin Gorman Newman

2008-11-28T10:30:00.017-05:00

(me and my dad)

The holidays always bring up "stuff" for me. Starting with Thanksgiving until New Year's.

My beloved mom passed away 1/3/98, and it's never been the same without her. Hard to believe it will be over 10 years in 2009 since she is gone.

Growing up as a kid, my mom would spend considerable time preparing holiday meals. I'm not sure, quite honestly, if she loved cooking, but it was tradition. And, it's a memory I'll forever preserve.

I remember well her stuffing. She made it with matzoh, which always felt like it was her secret ingredient. And, she had a "famous" pumpkin bread. My husband has since assumed the tradition of making it, and it means a great deal to me. He has taken certain creative liberties with it, and mixes up the types of chocolate chips used. Dark, milk and white. One year he even baked it with M&Ms, and my mom would have been proud to see him paying tribute to her in such a festive way.

Earlier this week, my husband baked a bunch of loaves...he brought one to work...and gave others to my dad, who is so grateful. My son helped by tossing the chips into the batter...munching on a few as he went along. He was so sweet, literally, to see them team up. It was as of my mom was looking down on them and smiling.

One of the challenges I face with the holidays is the emotional "stuff" it brings up for me due to the loss of my mom. And, on top of that, my sister and her family are away for Thanksgiving, and my husband's brother and his family made plans with friends, so I don't feel enveloped by those I grew up with, other than my dad. So, we'll have a low key celebration here with my father and Marc's mother (his dad passed away).

I have to admit, though, that I do get some pangs of jealousy when I hear of others having major family gatherings. I wonder what that is like. Do they take it for granted? Do they enjoy, or is it a chore to them? Does it feel special?

I don't have any cousins, aunts, etc. sadly, who I am close with. So, inviting extended family is not a viable or appealing option.

One of my friends said to me that I should work on creating new tradition. So, I reached out to one friend to see what they are doing for the holiday, and they, too, are going away. Others already have commitments, and I don't feel inclined to have just anyone over for the sake of it. It is a lot of work...all the setup, preparation, etc.

But, I do endeavor to get together with friends in the future for celebrations. I've always thought it would be so nice to be invited somewhere, but that doesn't often happen. My sister never makes a holiday (or birthday) meal (it's not her thing to have people over), and my brother and sister in law are often away with their three kids since they play sports. They have invited us for the Jewish holidays in the past.

So, I try to be strong, and not let all my sentimental "stuff" get the better of me this time of the year. It can be bittersweet, but I'm grateful to have my own family and to create memories for my son that he will always cherish, as I did growing up.

Do you find that the holidays open wounds for you? How do you deal with it? Do you endeavor to create new tradition for yourself and/or your family?

2008-11-27T11:19:00.008-05:00

One of the things I love most about life is my ability to just be thankful and grateful for most everything, everyone and every experience I’m lucky enough to live… and then WITH some effort, every other single thing in life that may not seem so ‘yummy’ at first glance!

As today is America’s Day of Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for and I genuinely LOVE focusing on those things for which I am so grateful, my thoughts today are simply about that… Love and Thankfulness!

For the past two to three weeks, the topic of love has come to my attention, over and over again in many different ways: from the songs I find I’m singing when I first open my eyes in the morning, to thoughts of friends I love, my home, the crazy love affair I experience with nature every day, to the sky and the incredibly ever fascinating white clouds…

I find that no matter where I’m at or who I’m with, in short order, I’m smiling and gushing some form of love of this, or like of that and aren’t we lucky the sky is so blue… and for my personal day of Thanksgiving I thought it would be nice to share some of this gratitude life (how I live it) with you. It always starts with some simple ‘What I loves’… like:

What I love about waking up each day…

If there is one thing in the world I love… it is waking up in my most wonderful and fantastic bed… it’s not really anything super special… it’s just very peaceful and provides me with the best sleep I’ve ever had… EVER.

There is almost always a smile on my face and a song in my heart—typically a song of love for me, the world and others who ALL need love so desperately. From the moment I open my eyes, my thoughts wander to how I can extend this endless love that flows out of me to someone else… it is nearly incurable this feeling of wanting to literally ‘love on every person in the world’ one by one or millions by millions as the universe creates the way for me to do so! I LOVE waking up!

What I love about music…

Besides that music is what allows me to express my physical passion in dance (and oh how I LOVE to dance)… my other great love of music is how the words make me feel. Recently, some really old songs… from literally out of no where popped into my consciousness and I find myself singing them… singing wonderful songs of love, sharing love, helping people… the one I woke with today comes as no surprise…

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes, you will

That you're beautiful as you feel

Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing

I've got nothing to do but watch the passers-by

Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing

And they don't see it showing, why do I?

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes, you will

That you're beautiful as you feel

I have often asked myself the reason for sadness

In a world where tears are just a lullaby

If there's any answer, maybe love can end the madness

Maybe not, oh, but we can only try

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes, you will

That you're beautiful as you feel

--Beautiful by Carole King

As my ability to be grateful and thankful for most everything and everyone abounds… the words of songs like this one have such special meaning for me!

As I go about the business of life, what I notice most is how the majority of people in the world just need a little love, a small kindness, an easy word of encouragement… and what do you get back for such small effort? People literally light up! They smile and you can SEE the change in their body language, a renewed zest for life shows on their face and a new pep in their step is obvious as they walk away. Ahhhhhhhhh…I LIVE my entire life for moments such as these, and they can happen anywhere with anyone at anytime from Walmart and the mall to any place you go or conduct business.

But HOW do YOU get there to begin this chain reaction of love into the world? "Come on Kelly, really, the economy is bad, life is changing, we are all filled with uncertainty, and wouldn’t it just be fake to pretend such joyfulness?" Yes, it would and while I think faking it could be one way to get there, I have a solution that is far easier and much more productive!

Just begin today while thankfulness and gratitude are already the order of the day and consciously on your mind.

TODAY, decide you will continue this one thing EVERY DAY for the rest of your life, and you’ll do it with simple easy steps such as:

When stuck in traffic, you will turn on your favorite songs and get so caught up in the music you love, you’ll not only forget the traffic jam… you’ll wish it was longer so you could hear the end of your favorite cd.

As you begin to look around, you’ll find small things to be thankful for everywhere, in everyone, in every situation… a sour teller at the bank might be someone you could jot a thankful note to on paper and leave as you depart (imagine how that feels?)… when things aren’t going your way, you could think of other times when things didn’t go the way you planned and they worked out EVEN BETTER… and then believe that this, too, will be that way!

It takes no more effort to choose to think and focus positively than it does your habitual ‘negative thought first’ patterns we’ve all learned and become accustomed to in life.

It simply takes practice.

Choosing to get up every single day with a smile on your face… planning (Yes… plan it out) that you are going to show the world all the love in your heart (no matter what they do or don’t do, say or don’t say). Yes, as the song says, 'people are gonna treat you better', but you know what? The song left out the most important part of all…

You are gonna treat YOU better! You are going to find that a consistent attitude of thankfulness and gratitude begins a seed of self-love inside you that no other love can equal. You are going to start seeing blessings where before you saw struggle, you are going to see love where you saw hate, you will see opportunity where you previously saw dissension, and in a very short period of time everything (YES EVERYTHING!) in your life is going to change--for the better!--right before your eyes!

How do I know this? I live it! Thanksgiving is THE pathway to true and lasting Inner Love and Peace. And that is what I truly wish for you and every other person I meet!

I guess it all boils down to this song I woke to a few days ago:

What the world needs now,

Is love, sweet love,

It's the only thing that there's just too little of.

What the world needs now,

Is love, sweet love,

No, not just for some but for everyone.

-Jackie DeShannon

People need inner self love, and they need love and understanding from other people, and ALL of it can easily be achieved by first starting with a mindset to live with gratitude and thankfulness moment by present moment!

As you may have guessed, my heart is overflowing with joy and gratitude this Thanksgiving Day for YOU, all the above, and much, much more!

Today I wish for YOU…

A day filled with gratitude,

a heart filled with joy,

a smile that brightens the world,

and all the love I can send your way!

Happy, Happy Thanksgiving!

Kelly :-)

The Stuff of Athletes

2008-11-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

For many years, I have had a head FULL of Stuff related to losing weight, body image, dieting, self-loathing, you name it. Not any longer.

When I was younger, I was that girl in gym class who always got picked last for every team. 20 minutes into class, there I'd be, me and some other awkward, visibly NOT athletic kid would be standing, silently praying to either get picked next (at least I wasn't picked last) or spontaneously burst into flames.

Flash forward 25 years and I have redefined myself as an athlete. In 2005, I began the year wanting to run a 10K, but secretly adding to my very own Bucket List that I wanted to run a marathon before I kicked it. By the end of the year, after hours of planning and many, many miles of running, I had run the Philadelphia Marathon in just under 5 and a half hours (no walking, no stopping - except once to hit the port-a-potty at around mile 12). That experience was a huge turning point. It was the point I got Beyond My Stuff around being overweight, or unattractive, or old, or a girl. It was the point I released all those limiting labels and became ... an "elite athlete.' (Seriously - that's what it said on my Marathon Certificate.)

Once I had the label, elite athlete, I didn't want to let go of it. I made the decison that every year, I would run the 10-mile Broad Street Run in the Spring and a half-marathon in the Fall. That's what brings me to where I am today, laying in bed, blogging about the fact that at approximately 9:30 this morning, in biting 25 degree winds, I was running across the finish line of the Philadelphia Half Marathon, in just under 2.5 hours. This was my goal, and it was 10 minutes faster than the first half-marathon I completed, three years ago.

Last night at the Expo, as I picked up my race packet (noting with a smirk that they still assume that of the two of us, my 6'2", 230 pound husband must be the one running the race), I walked with a little more strut in my Stuff, knowing that this is no longer a big deal for me, it is a tradition.

No matter what the scale says (and it happens to be pretty darn close to the 160s, I might add), I am an athlete. I fuel my body in a way that allows my body to function at maximum efficiency, and I strive to let go of excess fat so that I can perform better, not so that I'll turn an extra head or two (although I fully intend to do that, also). I order my race shirts in Medium, not Extra Large, because I'm now a regular-sized, fit, toned athlete.

People Stuff -- by Robin Gorman Newman

2008-11-21T11:45:00.012-05:00

(My son Seth (the blond) and a good friend of his.)

I'm a bit embarassed to share this experience with you, yet feel compelled to do so.

I am an email junkie. I admit it. I spend many hours/day at my computer (for better or worse), and then have a Blackberry at my constant disposal during my travels.

Yesterday, in my haste, I accidentally hit the wrong email address key. I knew it immediately after I sent it. It's everyone's email nightmare. Something didn't feel right, so I checked my sent box....and sure enough. A note that was meant for my husband got sent to the very person I was writing about....and what I said wasn't the most flattering. What is the likelihood of that? Both their email addresses start with "m"...but still...I can only surmise it was meant to be to perhaps clear the air.

What I wrote wasn't awful...just awkward. It had to do with tickets to Disney on Ice that I was looking to offer moms in MotherhoodLater.com, but since there weren't any takers, I was contemplating offering them to friends in New York or New Jersey. I wrote to my husband asking his opinion about how to handle it and what friends I might offer it to. And, then I mentioned this particular person who is the mom of one of my son's close friends in Kindergarten. And, I wrote "not that she's the greatest friend."

Truth is...I wrote the truth. She isn't. I was being honest. But, did I want her to know I was thinking that? Did she need to read that?

So, I quickly called her up...she had actually coincidentally left a message earlier in the day re: my son's school, but I missed the call. Since she didn't answer her cell or home phone, I decided to respond further via email. I felt the need to nip the situation in the bud.

I wrote her a note offering her the Disney tickets and apologized for my reference in the email, explaining it was sent in error to her. But, then I also went on to say that in fact, I was disappointed and had hoped we could become real friends, but that I was let down when on more than one occasion she told us that she and her son were busy, yet she went on to make plans with other moms. I knew this because we ran into her at a couple of events, and another mutual mom of a child in my son's class mentioned that she had heard from her. This was hurtful to me.

We spoke briefly this morning and she said she wouldn't be taking the tickets, and she didn't reference the email. She is supposed to call me back later to see if a cousin of hers would like the tickets, and I'm curious to see if she will then bring up my comment. I'm not holding my breath.

This all got me thinking. On one hand I felt badly. On the other hand, I was happy for my candor with her.

A friend of mine at the gym, who I shared the situation with, said that when her kids were little, she didn't try to befriend moms on a personal level for herself. She pretty much kept it to scheduling playdates for her girls and being cordial to the moms.

This is hard for me. I'm not a superficial person, though I'm quickly realizing you can't be friends with everyone.

And, this further got me contemplating the notion of "people stuff."

It's so easy to clutter up your life with possessions, negative thoughts, etc...but what about people? There's only so many hours in the day to maintain real, meaningful relationships, and this holds true for both friends and family. I am totally open to attracting new cool people, but you have to make room.

In the last few months or more, a few friendships have diminished, and we're no longer in touch. It was hard to accept at first, but then I realized that as people grow and change, so does the law of attraction. It can be hard to let go, especially when there is history between you, but people's needs change. Schedules change. And, we can't always be there as we once were, and if someone isn't accepting of that, then the friendship might not really serve either of you anymore. Maybe someone was used to your playing a certain role for them...perhaps as an enabler...for example. And, what if it's now occurred to you that that was largely the basis of your connection, and you don't want to go there anymore? Then, it's understandable that you might have to let go. And, it could be for both of your ultimate gain, though at the moment, it might not feel that way.

I share all this because it takes courage to let go, and faith to know that new people will come into your life if you invite them. Maybe not immediately, but when they're meant to. And, this holds true whether for friends or romantic partners. (I work as a love coach for singles, so I know this has been the case for clients of mine.)

Have you had friends come 'n go in your life that you didn't expect? How did it feel to let them go, whether it was mutual or not?

Give your Family the Gift of Time

2008-11-19T07:56:00.004-05:00

by Mary Gardner

This week I received an amazing gift. It made my heart happy and when I said thank you it was genuine and enthusiastic! The person who gave it to me quickly shared everything about the gift and was just as excited that she was able to give it to me!

What was it?

Not a “traditional” type of gift, but the best kind of gift for a mom who has had a child who is a bit high maintenance at school every day!

It was a note from my son’s Language Arts teacher who told me that my son had a really great day the day before, and was focused, attentive, quiet and read his work really well.

We both were ebullient when talking about the change in my son, and she suggested that whatever we had done that morning, was WORKING! It was a Monday morning that he had the great success and I explained to her that on Sunday, we didn’t do ANYTHING all day long. Jeremy never even got dressed and we just laid around the house all day long and built a fire in the fireplace, I cooked from sun up to sun down, had delicious aromas floating through the house, and my husband, me and Jeremy just enjoyed being at home, and relaxed like most of us never get to do. We watched a little TV, but just a movie at night, while my husband went to church for all of us. I felt it best to keep Jeremy home since the day before he went to the beach and crabbing with our friend Bruce and his two kids and came home very, very content, but had a scratchy voice, which because he loved the sound of it, he kept talking more and more and more!

Most of our week is scheduled down to the minute. I pick up Jeremy by bike from school at 3 in the afternoon, then we race home and have a snack and get his homework done. Then we ride our bikes to the YMCA and he has swim practice for an hour and I work out. Then we go home and I cook dinner, then we either do more homework or play a family game like dominos and then we do the bed time routine. That can take a while of course, because he always likes to get another snack and prolong it as much as possible!

When Friday comes, we don’t have swim practice, so we do “Fun Friday”, which means visit friends, go to Disney World, or hang out at the park with other families. Saturday is usually swim meet day, and chores, and then Sunday morning we go to Church and Jeremy has religious education. There aren’t many days where we do absolutely nothing and enjoy it.

Truth be told, I worked my tail off that day, cooking and cleaning and keeping the fire lit and doing laundry, but it was all at home and we weren’t on any schedule and I was able to make a beautiful, restful and peaceful home for my family. … the kind I always loved when I was a kid.

Little did I know how hard my parents were working to give me that amazing and so oh so needed rest!!

Having a “down” day was exactly what we all needed to give us that boost that we needed to start the week. When the body is tired, it doesn’t function well, and the better it’s rested, the more productive we can be.

Perhaps all of us now need to take a pause, and to readjust our schedules. Perhaps rather than running all of our side businesses, keeping up with the Jones, running here and there and everywhere to try to get it all done, perhaps we should all just take a rest every week and do nothing. Put on some classical music, light a fire in the fireplace or put on some candles to set the atmosphere, and break out the family games.

The rest and the comfort of doing nothing, will probably give you the extra strength to manage the stress that comes along whether you want it to or not, and will probably be exactly what you and your family needs, during this difficult and down economy.

Stuff happens...and usually for a reason!

2008-11-17T08:00:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had the feeling, in the midst of getting some really bad news, that it's for the best? I don't mean that fake smile you give as the tears stream down your face, keeping a stiff upper lip as you say bravely, "No, no, it's fine...I'm sure something better will come along." I mean when you really know that something better is coming...know it so definitively that you aren't even upset by the devastating situation you find yourself in.

That's how I felt last week when I found out that my client wasn't renewing my contract next year. Is that strange? Is that crazy? It's not the first time it's happened.

Ten years ago, I was stunned when the leader of my band, the first band I'd ever been in, the only band I'd ever been in, the band that brought me to my future husband, casually announced he wouldn't be needing me anymore. Not only did this mean I wouldn't be singing anymore, it meant I wouldn't be spending time with my main squeeze - at shows, at rehearsals. N

ot to mention the fact that my ego was bruised beyond recognition (as it is now, I suppose). Even still, I so clearly remember resting my head against my husband's solid chest, my tears soaking a through the front of his flannel button-down, peering up at him through the tears and saying, "The thing that's so strange is that even though I'm crying, even though I'm so sad about this, I know something better is coming along."

A few months later, I was back in the band, subbing in for one of the singers who hadn't shown up. A few months after that, I was their only singer, singing four sets a night, and that same bandleader was calling me "A.I.," for Allen Iverson, the then Philadelphia basketball player known for making 50-plus points in a game, the one the team couldn't do without. A few months after that, when the bandleader quit dramatically, the band looked to me to lead them. And I did. Though I knew something great was in store, what I didn't know that cold winter night as I was sobbing on my future husband's shoulder, was that the same band from which I had been summarily dismissed would one day be mine to lead.

I have that same feeling now. That the Universe is opening up space in my life for something. Something phenomenal. Something beyond my wildest dreams. So, am I scared that I don't know what that is? Sure, I am. Am I scared that I don't have guaranteed income beyond next March? Darn skippy. But you know what? I'm excited, too. Because the Universe has never, EVER let me down before.

Confessions of a Control Craver

2008-11-16T20:22:00.015-05:00

Having control, or at least the delusion of having it, has always felt important to me. It's part of my emotional "stuff." It makes me feel (falsely) secure, at least for the moment. I hang on to it like a trusted pair of my old weather-beaten clogs that I can't bear to part with. (OK...yes...I'm a "closet" clog collector.)

But, really who has control, and why do we need it?

This past week I felt so tested in that arena.

I was planning a trip and stressing out over getting the lowest airline fare I could find. Suddenly, overnight, the rates jumped up big time, and I couldn't shake the feeling of failure that came over me. I had missed the bargain boat, so to speak. Because I didn't jump on getting the tickets right away, the price had now surpassed what I was willing to pay. After beating myself up about it (I'm real good at that), a friend suggested I check another website for rates and explore other potential routes. I wound up getting even better flights than I had originally planned and learned a lot in the process. It still cost a bit more than the original fare, but ultimately, these flights were better choices and worth the additional money.

So, what was my takeaway from the situation?

Firstly, I learned that you want to check the airline websites directly and not just discount sites like Expedia, Orbitz, etc.

More importantly, for my life overall, I realized yet again how I need to surrender to the universe. Everything in life happens for a reason, even if we don't know why at the moment. And, while not everything seems good or justified, there is more going on behind the scenes than we are typically privvy to. I'm not saying we deserve all that happens to us, and there is a lot of suffering in the world, which I'll never fully grasp. But, there are forces around us at work, and it can take some time until we see the bigger picture.

Part of this is learning to let go.

I blogged previously about our nanny...but feel compelled to bring it up again. We had a nanny for over four years who left two weeks ago. It wasn't planned. But, it was some time in the coming, and the time just became now. Things weren't clicking anymore with her and my son. She was fabulous when he was a baby, but now, as a five year old, he is a challenge in a different way. And, it was beyond her capacity to cope with him.

Unfortunately, it ended in more of a drama than I ever would have anticipated. I always thought that somehow we'd stay friends. But, that's sadly not likely to be the case.

So, things feel different around here. We're all adjusting. My son, who can't really express it, has been having nightmares and being more needy than usual. I sensed that deep down he was struggling with the situation. It is a loss for him...and a big one. Almost like a death.

So, we've been reassuring him that mommy and daddy aren't going anywhere, to try and help him regain his sense of security.

I, too, am now taking on more tasks in the home, in addition to feeling like I'm now racing the clock until he gets home from school.

I know I can rise to the occasion, but I've been doing it a bit kicking 'n screaming (not literally). Fighting the responsibility on one hand, yet being proud of myself for moving on and not looking back.

Ultimately, I know we'll all be better for it. We're going to put my son in an after school program for a couple of days, which we think he'll love. And, this will buy me more time to work until he gets home.

Sometimes things have to feel a little "odd" or out of our comfort zone, but from it comes growth in ways we might not anticipate.

Friends are way better than Stuff! by Mary Gardner

2008-11-13T14:42:00.002-05:00

At Beyond The Stuff we’ve all made a commitment to take certain days to blog. Yesterday was my day.

I missed it.

I did try. I sat down and started to write. But all I could come up with was this:

“God help me. God help me. God help me”.

Why? Well, because I live with a son who has been diagnosed on the Autism spectrum. And when we are feeding him 100% organic, no preservatives, limited dairy, glutten, wheat, and he takes all of his 12 vitamins a day and is on NO sugar, and exercises every day, we live a relatively normal life.

When we have Halloween and I cave to his thousands of requests for pop tarts and other sugar infested crap, our life takes a nose dive…. like it did recently.

The stress can get so bad because my son can’t sit for more than a minute at a time. I can’t get him to eat, I can’t get him to get dressed and my beautiful, funny and charming son has his own agenda, and mommy and dad often lose their cool.

Luckily, we understand that ALL parents need breaks, but especially those with challenging situations… and I had off last week, so I gave my husband a few days “off” where he got to stay with my parents to just relax and focus on whatever he wanted to.

Today is a different story. Things have gotten better. The sugar is coming out of his system and the exercise and the low stress/stimulation in our home is working. And most importantly, God did help me. And how did He help me? By sending amazing people my way to support me.. in so many ways. But here is an example of complete amazing support…

“I've been on set the past couple of days but just wanted to send you some strength and positive energy. I can't relate to what you're going through, but I do sense in you a unique resolve to handle even the most challenging circumstances. Sending you my best. Peace”,

“Hi Mary; Sorry you're having a rough time. . I can imagine that it must be very hard for you. (It makes raising my 3 teenage boys seem e-z.) If you want to talk on the phone, please let me know. Hang in there.”

“I'm right there with you, Mary.Here's praying the help continues to come showering down upon you!!!”

“I am sorry that you are having such struggles in your life right now -- butI know that if God is with you, you will overcome whatever life throws at you. "With God nothing is impossible." You and I both know that, but sometimes it takes a lot to really know and trust it. The hard part is applying it to our lives, to put it into action. May I offer one thought? You are not failing at life right now...you are succeeding at standing while the tempest of life swirls around you. Having the ability just to stand, in the midst of the storm, is a very courageous thing to do. And, even more courageous because your child depends on you to do so. Actually, I am moved and impressed at the way you are standing. So,not a failure at all. "Be still and know that I am God," is the requirement of the day.

“Mare, hang in there, you’re doing great things and you’re helping so many of us parents know that there are others out there who understand so thank you”.

“Mary, please feel free to use our mountain house anytime you guys want to get away”

So you can imagine how great I feel today. In addition, my son’s teachers have been extra helpful and understanding with us being late, and with me bringing shoes and socks because he couldn’t put them on without freaking out this morning, and to top it all off, my darling, sweet mom came and cleaned my house yesterday.

These are the things that are important to a person who are dealing with a chronic disability or going through a tough time.

Here are the things that have helped me:
1. Just a kind word that I’m doing the right thing
2. Extra prayer support – and they really do it.. don’t just say it!
3. Words of wisdom and understanding… or just told me to SHARE and VENT.
4. Help with my HOUSE
5. Help with my child- mom did homework with him… WHAT a relief! (And another family offered to take our son for a weekend… which was so generous… and VERY tempting!)
6. Gave my husband and I an opportunity to get away.. as a family or as a couple
7. Bought me lunch – and gave me an opportunity to just get OUT and feel NORMAL.

Were any of these expensive? Nope! They took time, and effort but not a lot of money.. the most was lunch….. and that was about $10 and can I tell you how grateful I was!? Immensely!

So today I sit here thankful, that I have friends and associates who are really, really good human beings. They took a minute out of their day to share their warmth with me and support.. and it has been amazing.

So now, because I’m so grateful, I have ½ hour and I’m going to send notes to people who I know that I can support.. and tell them that I am praying for them.. and that I care for them.

I saw this poem lately that also gave me strength:

Happiness keeps you sweet.
Trials keep you strong.
Sorrows keep you human.
Failures keep you humble.
Success keeps you glowing.
But only God keeps you going!

And God provides us friends! Thank you everyone! You got me through.

Change is 'What Is'!

2008-11-13T01:21:00.002-05:00

Today, I’m sharing a few specific concepts which may help you better understand and interpret your own life circumstances while helping you develop the opportunity to see these things with new and different perspectives. Perspectives that will help you and your future immensely!

For now, I want to focus on how the very circumstances you are living through may be just a normal part of life experience and change. You may be thinking, “What??? Kelly, you just don’t understand my financial situation here! I have a major illness; my house is going into foreclosure; I’m losing money in the stock market; I just lost a million dollars. How could you ever think that THIS is normal?”

As I am in the same economic market as everyone else and have also lived through many terminal illness and death situations, I often experienced those same feelings and thoughts… until recently when something became abundantly clear and it all started with a conversation about butterflies…

Have you ever watched a caterpillar go from what it is to the beautiful butterfly it becomes? Have you ever seen one FIGHT or ARGUE with the process? If they did, from an outside perspective it would be easy to understand where they were coming from, as it just doesn’t look all that pleasant.

First, it hangs upside down (by its last legs, no less) while it’s outer skin splits to expel the newly forming chrysalis. If that wasn’t bad enough… in a very short period of time the original outer part of what the caterpillar was simply ‘falls away’.

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
-Richard Bach

It takes 7 days (which might seem like an eternity to a butterfly) in typical summer weather and then a beautiful butterfly again has a choice to make the effort and come out of its cozy chrysalis. This too, is an interesting point in the process because many chrysalises are beautiful and after 7 days a monarch butterfly ‘in the making’ could get really comfortable in its beautiful smooth, jade colored ‘home’.

Even when the butterfly makes the choice at the appointed time to come out of the ‘change’ and metamorphosis it has experienced, another change must be embraced so it can become all it was meant to be: it has to wait while the newly formed veins in its wings are inflated, allowing time for them to dry and harden so flight is actually possible and safe for the newly formed butterfly

But what does all this have to do with you, our economy, the bailout saga, and the changes, and upsets that daily bombard us in life or on the news? Well, just about everything if you consider how all of life (everything in the universe, really) is so very similar. Indeed, whether a butterfly in metamorphosis or a human living in the now… Change is ‘What Is’. Truly,

If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies!

Have you ever watched butterflies for any length of time? Have you noticed what they spend most of their day doing?

It may surprise you to learn that the life of a butterfly is very, very similar to every single thing you’ve ever asked life to give you, if you had all the money you wanted, the job of your dreams, and the living space of your choice.

Think about it! After surrendering to change and metamorphosis, butterflies fly around, seeing every beautiful thing they want to see (wild and interesting adventures); they flutter from place to place (viewing beautiful sights and sounds), picking their favorite flowers to feed on (there is always an abundance of beautiful food to eat). In essence, they joyfully do what butterflies do, with extraordinary ease (read: no struggle). They live in the natural flow of nature and grace everyone with their elegance and beauty.

Isn’t that what you really want? Isn’t that what you ask for deep in your heart when you think of your grandest desires? Don’t you want your life to simply flow peacefully, with all you need placed abundantly around for your choosing everyday when you open your eyes? Isn’t that the exact description of what everyone wants; all the abundance and freedom given to a butterfly?

The million dollar question is: “Are you willing to go through the metamorphosis process—rather than clinging to what’s known of your normal everyday life as a caterpillar?”

Ask yourself honestly: “Do I have enough faith, when I can’t yet see the final outcome, to trust that the ‘chrysalis stage of life’ will take me from caterpillar to butterfly intact? Do I fully understand how I can choose my own thoughts as the transformation takes place so I can actually feel good and maybe even accept the process?”

Will you willingly choose to embrace the changes of life with an open mind asking what it is you are to do next and how can you benefit from this new and latest life experience? Do you think a caterpillar (as the only existence it’s ever known disappears forever), hangs around trying to fight the natural flow of becoming all and who they were meant to be?

The point is…

Framing your doubts with better perspectives while life change is taking place, requires ‘Willingness’.

Willingness to go through the motions of life withholding ‘any judgment’ until the entire process is complete. Willingness to accept and embrace the concept that “where you are, is where you are---and that’s okay because where you are, IS where you are and it’s okay because it’s WHERE YOU ARE.” This is absolute acceptance of what is, and when you really think about that, is there any other choice in life than to 'accept what is'?

The good news is there are examples to follow all around you, and they are probably the very people who drive you nuts! You know, the Pollyanna types who make it all look so easy! It’s not that they don’t experience metamorphosis; everyone does at some point or another in life. It is more about how they understand and then accept the true nature of all life. How they understand the process and through present moment thinking, allow what is, to be what is without objection (in other words, they accept what is while focusing on what they want with a detached mindset).

As we are always free to focus or think in any way we please, others make a different choice and choose to fight change every step of the way with doubt, stress and negativity… simply because they are not yet aware of or able to practice the art of allowing through detachment---and it does take practice!.

I think it takes great bravery and a lot of courage for a Caterpillar to willingly choose to embrace change and become a Butterfly, and it may require the same from you and me.

Choose to focus on the outcome you want while remaining in acceptance of what is (as best you can)! Choose to envision how it will feel when the metamorphosis is complete and you are fluttering around living the life you were meant to live…

Finding great perspectives about the journey we call life, expressing your willingness to change, and embracing what comes your way all the while focusing your intentions on what you want, can be wildly joyful—the choice is up to you! And what you think and feel is too!

Joyful in the Journey...

Kelly K. Brown

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad STUFF?

2008-11-10T08:00:00.005-05:00

I am, that's who.

For years, I have been holding on to stuff - papers, computer cords, clothes, photos. All because of fear. So, what am I afraid of?

...that I might get asked to prove that I paid that contractor back in 2006?

...that I might need that cord that came with the MP3 player that died a year after I bought it on eBay?

...that if one day I do actually get my butt down to the size it was before I had children I'll regret that I gave away all my skinny jeans (which, by the way, were barely in style when I fit them)?

Two months ago, a dear friend of mine told me that now that her children were in school full-time and she could be more than a Stay At Home Mom (which in my opinion, is one of the hardest and most worthwhile jobs anyone can ever have), she wanted to be a Personal Organizer. Having just started my business earlier this year, I was eager to coach her through the process of getting started. She was happy to barter services and organize me. (In the end, I insisted on paying her because I am a far too extensive project to be organized for free, quite frankly. She offered, but if I'd taken her up on that offer, I fear she would have organized herself right out of my Rolodex, if you catch my drift.)

My friend and I both got a little nervous, I think, the first time she presented me with a huge pile of STUFF. It was all the CDs she'd come across that were duplicates or lacked cases or were cases with no CDs or what have you. Enter, the Stuff Monster, growling and grumbling:

Well, you can't throw this CD case away. What if you find the CD?

And you certainly can't throw this CD away. What if you find the case?

You can't throw this dupe CD away. What if you want to listen to it in my car? Wouldn't it make sense to have an extra copy?

And on and on and on. Left to my own devices and in the care of the Stuff Monster, I would find myself sitting on the floor of my library, reading the papers, strolling down memory lane, lost in the memories, getting nothing done. When those questions start rattling around my brain, I get paralyzed with fear, distracted from what's real in my life. The stuff that matters. Every hour I spend rifling through papers looking for a warranty because my files are overflowing with unnecessary user guides for gadgets I can't even find and certainly don't use is one I could spend reading a book to my children. Every minute I spend pulling out game after game because none of them have all the pieces is a minute we could spend playing together. Every minute I spend searching for a CD could be spent dancing in the living room.

I want to spend my time living and enjoying my life, not searching for it.

So today, I'm so grateful that I have someone, someone outside of my life, someone objective who loves and cares about me, who can gently guide me through the process of organizing my stuff. Figuring out what I need (KEEP), what someone else could use more than me (DONATE), and what really is no longer of use to anyone (TOSS).

That's what we hope to do on our show each week, I think. Help each other sift through the Stuff in our lives. Help each other stop being so afraid to look at it we're paralyzed, and just categorize it - stuff we need, stuff we can give back to who it really belongs to, and stuff we can let go of. That could be a thing, like all the stuff in our homes, or it could be a feeling, fear or resentment. But together, we can help each other (and those who listen to us) get Beyond the Stuff and get on with LIFE!

Lots of love,

Liimu

Purge City.....here we come!

2008-11-07T10:00:00.011-05:00

The universe is sending me a message. I get it and choose to accept. It is saying Purge!

This is me pictured, with my book, at Canyon Ranch Tucson. I wrote about my amazing experience there in my introductory blog.

But, what I didn't share is that during my time away from home, we had a power outage lasting almost 48 hours, and my husband had to throw out much of the food in the frig.

Then, just three days after returning from Tucson, our nanny of 4+ years wound up leaving after a bit of a heated discussion. Truth is...it had been long coming, and it just reached a point of no return. She lost it. I lost it. And, then it was over. But, really I gained (and I believe she ultimately will too...since it wasn't a good fit anymore for her).

I had anticipated being in complete culture shock from it this whole week. And, while I was certainly highly disturbed about it all last weekend, I managed better than I expected and welcomed the return of privacy in the house. I hadn't realized how much I missed that, and how much more positive the energy is here now. Things had been feeling quite negative since there was tension in our home and frustration on my part and our nanny's. To me, it was palpable. Essentially, there was a mutual discontent, so this is for the best in the long run. We had planned to let her go in January anyway since in February we are gutting our entire basement to make it a better living and play area.

I'm totally psyched about what the basement will become, yet completely overwhelmed at the notion of having to clean out all that is currently there. And, believe me, there is a ton of STUFF. Some of which we'll keep and other things will be discarded or donated.

Here comes that word again....stuff! I'm surrounded by it. Yet, the powers that be are pushing me more and more to get rid of it. Whether it be food. Negative energy. People who I am no longer in sync with. Clutter. etc.

And, what I know for sure is that until I (we) purge, there won't be ample room for all the good that can come. We need to invite it into our lives.

I'm so grateful to have connected with the Beyond the Stuff gals, and I want to keep myself open to enjoying their friendship and the pursuit of our business endeavors together. I'm making more 'n more room.

I'm not someone who lets go easily, so all this purging is far from a natural course of action for me. But, I'm more capable than I think. Just judging from how I've managed this week, sans nanny, so much is possible, as long as we don't get caught up in our own self-defeating thoughts. It's easy to talk yourself out of something or make yourself feel less than adequate. I'm generally a positive person, but I have my moments of feeling overwhelmed.

So, I hope you'll take the plunge and consider joining me on the purging bandwagon. We'll both be all the happier for it!

A Formula For Success?

2008-11-06T01:00:00.004-05:00

As you get to know each of us better and better here at Beyond the Stuff, one of the things you will discover about me is how much I love to travel! This is a picture of my visit to China late last year!

An incredible trip, it was both enjoyable and an eye opening experience for me as I learned quite a bit about Chinese history, their culture and experienced many of their beautiful scenic nature spots (Yellow Mountain comes to mind!). I even was able to try some of their interesting food choices!

Everywhere we went, the Chinese people were extremely friendly and accepting of our entire group. Quite often they would ask us to pose for pictures, with them, their children and their families... I often felt just like a movie star... This picture is one example of my Adventures in China!

I was moved from tears…

to actual sobs on occasion as I watched the very end of Oprah’s Post Election Show when BeBe Winans, CeCe Winans, Wynonna Judd and Vince Gill performed the song "We Need Each Other Right Now."

Throughout the entire election process, I have seldom spoke of who I was voting for or what I thought about much of any of it as most often I was simply overwhelmed by the negativity of the words and actions of human beings. I was frustrated when two of America’s supposed ‘finest’ stated something (almost anything really) to which the other would immediately say ‘that simply isn’t true’, and then watch the exact same thing in reverse.

I looked on as both sides used negativity, fear and other less than positive strategies and tactics to prove their point, state their opinions hoping to sway voters this way or that. And mostly I just refused to watch it or take part in any conversation about it as my spirit just doesn’t live there anymore. Siiiiiiiiiiigh…

But now that the election is over, now that the races are won or lost and with my ability to be open to both candidates in many ways for varying reasons… I was curious to see how people were reacting to this once-in-a-lifetime, truly historical election, so I tuned in to watch Oprah's special.

Being the gracious receiver of the election results and the will of the majority, I loved McCain’s heartfelt concession speech, offering to assist and help President Elect Obama in any way he can. I also loved Obama’s acceptance speech that was so warm and uniting toward a country that voted at an almost even split. I loved his ‘I may not have earned your vote, but I’ve heard your voice” sentiment directed to McCain supporters.

And for a brief moment I began to wonder of both candidates…

“Where were these words, these feelings, these united we stand, divided we fall speeches during the past 2 years?”

I do not blame either candidate specifically or individually as this is the way US politics have been for as long as I can remember, even within the individual parties (i.e. Hillary vs. Obama) just a few short months ago.

So… why the tears today?

Truthfully, it was the release of some incredible pent-up feelings of SADNESS combined with RELIEF and LOVE flowing out of my core being all at once! My innermost self was literally crying out that it was ‘tired’ of feeling like it had been ‘holding its breath’ while waiting as so much negativity flew around this country for sooooo long. And the love flowed because I sense just how torn some people still are depending on which side of the fence they were on. (I often sense and feel the ‘emotional stuff’ in others around me. )

Whether you followed the election closely or not, anywhere you ventured to go or with most anyone you engaged in conversation, its likely they had a strong point of view—which when informed, is truly valuable and a great thing indeed!

Unfortunately, many also had some negative and harsh comment or tirade to say or yell about the other candidate or the opposing party. Daily my email box was filled with something negative about this one or that one or their running mate. Even television shows both fiction and reality joined, embraced and rather ‘enjoyed’ this horrible display of ugly human behavior. And many Americans… laughed.

What makes a nation as vast and great as ours collectively agree that this type of campaigning is ‘normal’ or good? Because its successful? Because it works?

That may be so and regardless, I continue to agree with Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth, as he discusses how this behavior on any level implies that 'success' of this type is being viewed ONLY as a future event where the ends justify the means. i.e. Negative and abusive campaigning is ‘okay’ because in the end we may win through the use of it!

In other words, you may have finished the project, won the election or achieved your goal; but at what cost?

When negativity, anxiety or stress reign in any endeavor, Eckhart states the reality of what is…

“You spent two years polluting your body as well as the earth with negative energy, made yourself and those around you miserable, and affected many others you never even met.”

My belief? True and genuine success is achieved only through small and measurable ‘successful present moments’. Successful moments of full awareness, where our deeds and our time are spent in truth, integrity, and experienced solely through the foundations of love. Something I did not see through nearly 2 years of our nation’s campaigning.

So today, as I listened to this wonderful song, “We Need Each Other Right Now”, presented by Oprah to begin reuniting a country torn apart by its very own 'formula for success', at long last I breathed… and then I cried as I let out ALL the heartfelt sadness I’ve been feeling and sensing in my inner being as this election on many levels (in my opinion) reached new heights of LOW…

No matter how the 2008 election turned out, it was destined to be a new moment in history, and this indeed was an incredible, historical election in many ways. I celebrate all the hopes and dreams of those who have waited and envisioned this day for so long.

I now also, quite joyfully, add my own hopes and dreams that in these next 4 years on the winds of such an incredible, historical event, that one of the changes I will get to see and experience will be a healthy, new and more positive way to campaign for the highest office our country holds dear!

And what an incredible moment that will be…

Kelly K. Brown
‘Being’… Beyond the Stuff

Living Without The Stuff......

2008-11-05T10:17:00.002-05:00

I was in shock!!!

It changed my life!

I couldn’t believe it but then decided that it was just the way it was supposed to be from about a minute after I discovered it.

I walked in the bathroom to find my blackberry in the sink. Okay, not really. It was in the toilet! It fell out of my jeans when I sat down I guess!

How appropriate. I bet my husband was praying that’s where it would end up!

It was one day after I had called AT&T to get a new blackberry which was still under warranty and a new one was on the way. Only now, I couldn’t send the old one back, because now it had water damage.

What was I going to do? It was my life and connection to the outside world! I lived by email, texting and calling. And now?

Let me share!

I’ve been cooking!!! I’ve made beef stew and served 3 meals including lunch for my parents and dinner and lunch for my husband and me.

I made manicotti, which I served last night and have 2 more meals frozen.

I made a pork, pineapple, green pepper with brown sweet gravy which is delicious and will be served over rice tonight.

I made mini mushroom sandwiches which were browned in butter and brown sauce with provolone cheese!

What else? I’ve been cleaning!

I cleaned out and washed and got out my winter clothes which we only wear for about a month here in Florida… but I’m ready!

I’ve been making fires in the fireplace!

My son and I have had a blast using our fireplace for the first time in 2 years and figuring out what burns best and finding paper in the house that will start the logs on fire.

I’m learning how to use my camera!

I’ve been reading up on my new camera and learning how to post pictures and videos from it. Sounds easy but I just haven’t taken the time.. was probably too busy texting! (This is a pic of my son at swim practice.. since this is a big part of our life... I wanted to share it!)

What else.... ?
I’ve also been reading!

I read LEFT TO TELL, about the Rwandan woman who survived the Holocaust and have been reading cookbooks for recipes. I also have 2 other books lined up.

I even went to the library to get the books!

What I have in my head now is stuff like “how can I make my yard nicer” and “what can I make to eat for my family when I’m out of town starting tomorrow” I’m also thinking about clients and writing and my TV project/show.

I can’t say I don’t miss my blackberry and having the ability to be in silly conversations with friends who also are addicted to their blackberries, but I can say that I am getting a lot more done, and I do feel like I’m learning something different now, about a love for cooking that I had no idea was there! It just feels so good to me to actually create something that people enjoy and that I can create an atmosphere of a home where people can relax and enjoy some good food and wine!

I’m learning that without some of the stuff that I was doing before like relying on my blackberry for the connection to friends, that now I can focus more on my home to create a warm and loving home environment for my family. I thought I was doing that before, but now, I know I’m doing it!

And then there were five...

2008-11-03T07:00:00.005-05:00

I guess I'm the baby in the group - at 38 and with three small children, 2, 4, and 6, I find myself most frequently amazed that I am able to continue to get Beyond the Stuff to what matters in my life. With three small children, a thriving marriage, a new business and an active Recovery life (where I sponsor people and rely on a Sponsor for direction in my life), I barely have time to THINK about Stuff, let alone get caught up in it. And yet, I find the time.

But back to me. I guess my defining moment occurred when I was about to turn 25 years old and graduate from college with a degree in English. I was a bit of a party girl (and had been for more than ten years) but didn't realize that I also had a genetic predisposition for having a mental breakdown. The combination of the supreme level of stress I generally operate under and the recreational drug use I was engaging in on a somewhat regular basis was (as a medical professional has since explained it) akin to my head being a ticking time bomb that I was shaking up vigorously on a nearly daily basis. Eventually it blew, and I ended up in the campus nuthouse for more than a month, followed by another month in rehab. I had no money, and no insurance, so I ended up in a state-run program with mostly folks who had been sent there right from jail. For the first year I was out, I stayed on the straight and narrow for no other reason than that I was afraid to end up back in that Hell hole (the very same Hell hole that saved my life, I might affectionately add).

Recovery changed my life. It absolutely changed everything for me. I went from a lost, confused, wandering soul with tons of potential to a lump of moldable clay overnight. It was very uncomfortable at first, just being a shapeless lump of clay. But as my relationship with my Higher Power developed and as I began to listen to and follow the direction of people in the Program, my life and I began to take shape. I learned how to discern my Path and how to follow it. And then things really began to get interesting.

I met my husband, Glen, in 1998 when I auditioned to be a lead singer for a wedding band (I thought I was going to find a spot to do karaoke - who knew I would be signing up for a real band gig!?!). Glen was the guitar player and he didn't pay me any attention for the first 6 months. But over time, we got to know each other and realized that we had the same goofy sense of humor and that we really complemented each other - he was straight where I was curvy, and I dreamed big while he kept me firmly grounded in reality.

We now live in a suburb of Philadelphia and have three daughters - 2, 4 and 6. (We have been married for 7 years. You do the math.) Our life is relatively Americana, but as I said, Glen is the anchor and the rock that gives me the strength to take chances and mix things up. Back in 2005 before getting pregnant with our third daughter, I decided I wanted to take up running. At the end of that year, I found myself running a marathon. (In 5 hrs 25 minutes, I might add - take THAT, Katie Holmes!)

Following that experience, I was desperate to continue running and to share my experience with other moms who might be struggling to reclaim their sense of themselves and even to have the courage to redefine themselves as athletes. I decided to join a Moms group for runners and came across Moms in Motion, but they didn't have a Philadelphia chapter. Since 2006, I have been the Team Leader of the Philadelphia chapter of Moms in Motion. We do some pretty cool stuff, including philanthropic work in support of causes like Mommy's Light, an organization that helps children who have lost their moms continue the traditions they shared. Of course we also race in events like the Race for the Cure, raising funds for breast cancer research. In addition, we have some really cool speakers, like Kristen Dandar Hallowell, who came and showed us strength training exercises we can do on the playground while our kids are playing, or Susan Sabin, who showed us how to teach our kids to meditate and how to meditate ourselves.

I'm probably most well known (and certainly most recently known) for my performance last year on the NBC hit "Clash of the Choirs," as a featured soloist in Patti Labelle's "Boom Boom" Choir. (Click here to view the video.) This continues to be one of the most incredible gifts of leading an open, God-directed life. Just last weekend, I was blessed to have been asked to sing with the choir and Miss Patti on her Christmas special, and was even asked to solo again on one of her Christmas songs (we all were). I'll be sure to post that video when it comes out.

Anyway, that's me. I have an interesting and full life. I didn't even get to really talk about what I do for a living. So funny, because in our culture that's usually the first thing anyone talks about when they are asked to introduce themselves. I have a great career. I own my own successful and lucrative training design and development company. I am very happy and hope that my clients are, as well. But I'm even happier to say that what I do is not who I am. Truth is, I'm figuring that one out with each passing day and all I can tell you is that it keeps getting better.

So be sure to stay tuned.

Exciting things happen...Beyond the Stuff.

You Can Get Beyond the Stuff

2008-10-31T10:00:00.010-04:00

Let me begin by introducing myself. I am a native New Yorker, living on Long Island (though I'm from Queens), and I'm a 40 something mom to a five year old boy who I adore. I'm the author of How to Meet a Mensch in NY and How to Marry a Mensch (decent person), and as such, I married my Mr. Right Mensch 15 years ago, and now offer strategic socializing advice to those aspiring to do the same.

I am also the founder of Motherhood Later...Than Sooner, the only on and offline resource/community in the U.S. for those parenting later in life. I became a mom at 42, and I feel like a poster child for the sandwich generation, with a Kindergarten student and senior dad (I lost my mom 10 years ago). Being a caretaker has its own challenges.

I love to connect and inspire people, whether single, "later" moms, enterprising women (I also launched a non profit networking group for women in NY), etc. I am happiest when I am giving back, and I don't mean monetarily. But, rather by offering support that cannot be measured. I pride myself on really being there for my friends, family, clients, readers, and hope to now share with you....the Beyond the Stuff community.

I am thrilled, and feel very priviledged, to be a Beyond the Stuff gal. My counterparts in this blog and overall venture, are such unique powerhouses in so many ways. We are connected and share certain life experiences and vision. Yet, we each have a distinctive voice with our own journeys to tell. We hope you will tune in, and share with us what is happening in your life.

As for me right now, I returned earlier this week from Canyon Ranch in Tucson. I was invited to speak there re: my books, and I stayed on a bit to vacation. Let me just say (and they're not paying me to endorse them), that Canyon Ranch is a really special experience. I actually found it life-altering on more levels than I anticipated. And, this leads me to the notion of Beyond the Stuff.

We all have it. What is it? The "stuff" we collect. The "stuff" we tell ourselves, whether true or not. The "stuff" others say. I could go on 'n on. You know what I mean.

Spending some alone time (I went by myself) at a place like Canyon Ranch, opened up an emotional well for me. Here I was with a rare opportunity to chill solo, and I'm crying on more than one occasion. This visit touched a nerve...a BIG one. I went with the intent on working on some specific things, i.e. weight loss, and my back (I have minor scoliosis), and I emerged feeling that I do have the ability to take some control. I have gained weight since becoming a mom (though my son is adopted), and I now have greater portion/calorie and cardio exercise understanding so I can get to work seriously on the extra pounds. I also learned a way of exercising my back daily (McKenzie Technique) that can give me some relief.

I connected with some cool women who made me feel welcome. It was a bit of a challenge for me to be traveling alone, but I didn't have any friends who could accompany me at this time, and my husband isn't a spa fan. Once there, I proved I was able to handle it, and because I was alone, it led me to reach out to others more than I might have, and I'm glad for those I met in the process. I was out of my comfort zone for the better.

I've never been a fan of exercise classes, but I took them, and proved that they can be fun and I don't need to compare myself to other fitness buffs in the class. I've learned that just because someone looks great on the outside, doesn't mean they are content inside. During one particular workshop at Canyon Ranch, a self-confessed athlete shared her story of being raised in a family of high athletic achievers, and how it comes naturally to all of them, and how she's never had a weight problem. I listened in awe...what is that like? I wondered. But, then, she went on to say how a year ago she actually lost 13lbs off her already very petite, tight, trim frame, because she wanted to disappear. Wow! Who would have thought looking at her that she didn't have high self esteem.

In general, my mind was opened, and I feel like it has hopefully helped me get on the path to some empowering life change and beliefs.

Getting Beyong the Stuff is so critical, so we can embrace and enjoy our time. We all deserve that. Daily routines so easily take over, and stagnation can set in. So much in life we talk ourselves into, but we can rise above.

So, step out of your comfort zone. Spend some quiet alone time....even if brief. Try new things. Believe in yourself. Embrace others (they may need it more than you know). And, tell us about it.

Have you had any life altering travel experiences that led to greater understanding and happiness for you? Do you have "stuff" you want to rid yourself of? Would love to hear your stories.

The Universe Is Abundance In Motion!

2008-10-30T18:06:00.003-04:00

As I opened my eyes today I woke from a most wonderful dream! I’d just been talking on my new Radio Show, ‘Beyond the Stuff’ with my four new BFF’s (Best Friends Forever!) where we’d been sharing true life experiences, and you know… helping people! And as I was smiling at my good fortune to be able to share some of my inner light with the world, while nestled in my bed, the thought…

"And Visions of Sugarplums Danced in My Head"…

came to mind and I smiled even bigger! (Is that possible? Kelly Brown smiling BIGGER?) :-)

As I was coming to full awareness from sleep and thinking about all this, it occurred to me just how blessed I’ve been since moving into my new home and I was filled with so much gratitude and appreciation---and even so, I remembered that’s not what makes me so happy about life.

What makes me so incredibly happy and joyous about life takes place every time I venture outside my house! (Regardless of the news, or the economy, or the housing market, or the upcoming election or whatever most people are now focusing on…) When I take the time to go outside and stop for a moment to remember… I’m instantly reminded that everything in the universe is exactly as it is supposed to be. In fact,

The Universe Is Absolute Abundance in Motion!

Yes, the Universe shows its Absolute Abundance EVERYWHERE you look (when you're really looking that is…). Trees sprout and grow into giants, rain falls to water them, sun shines to help them along, acorns and nuts grow, squirrels gather, feast and then store some for winter, butterflies flutter and feed on every beautiful flower in my backyard with a grace that captures my soul, birds soar and find food with ease…

And all of this reminds me again of who I really am… where I really live… what’s really important and the euphoric joy of being alive begins another new day.

As I go from task to task throughout my day, I find I’m constantly renewed and fascinated by the world I live in, and things that tempt to distract me from my understanding of this Absolute Abundance of Life are just shadows and stories I and others tell ourselves…

So for today, maybe take your lunch outside… maybe just take a 5 minute break to head out where you can experience life’s TRUE abundant nature and breathe… I promise you will feel sooooo good when you do!

Take a moment and notice how all of life works together so perfectly with no help from any of us. Stop listening to or thinking about all the ‘stuff’ in your ‘material world’ and just notice the abundance of life all around you…

Visions of Sugarplums Will Indeed Dance in Your Head… there’ll be a new spring in your step and you’ll wonder how you ever forgot the true abundant nature of the universe and who you really are…

Loving the Journey!

Kelly K. Brown

Unloading the Stuff!

2008-10-29T18:40:00.001-04:00

Like many Americans, my jobs have been dramatically cut back this fall. I heard it time and time again, that the jobs have been cancelled and my services were not required. I noticed it slowly started happening this summer and saw the writing on the wall, even with outstanding contracts that were in place, companies were slowing down and stopping all of the spending. As an entrepreneur, I’ve had to now readjust my living and what that means is that we’re cutting back.

Out with the new cars, and I’m cutting back on all sorts of services that we just don’t need. At first, it was stressful to go through the bills and expenses to determine which ones I needed and which ones I didn’t. Now, it feels fresh and free. I’m starting to look at the tons of decorations in my home and wanting to collect things and put them all in a bag and send them to the Good Will. That’s exactly what I’m going to do too. I understand now that I was living with all of these things to make my life pretty or feel good, when in reality it was a lot of stuff to keep up with.

My husband and I have even decided that we are going to refinance the house and then sell if we can. We know we’re going to take a loss, but we also don’t want to be living with financial stress, so we’re of the mindset that we can and will rebuild, but from a much better place. A much more simple place!

All of this cutting back sincerely is exciting. I’ve realized that in living with a chronic disability like we have for many years that there is absolutely nothing in the world more important than our health and our peace of mind. We haven’t had much peace of mind lately until we decided to get rid of all of the “stuff” that drains our accounts and is supposed to really make us feel good, which it’s not.. its actually doing the opposite.

I feel light and uplifted now, and feel like the world is my oyster! I wonder if I want to find another place to live that will give my son more space to run around, and more kids to play with? I’m even thinking that we could move for a year or two to another location in the country, to somewhere small where the people are important to each other and not their things. It’s a fascinating concept to consider, and it’s exciting to think that we literally could just pick up and go if we found a place that we could feel our son would enjoy. He’s so independent that he can and does adjust to any kids any where. As long as he’s swimming and running and able to spend time outdoors, he’s happy as a clam. And the older I get, I’m reverting back to my childhood and those are the only things I really want as well!

I am craving the simple life and one without the stress of keeping up with the Jones’ and having to lead a life that is worthy of other people’s expectations. I just want to enjoy what I do, and enjoy my family and enjoy my friends. I don’t want to have to keep up with all of the gadgets we own, and do maintenance on everything, and always work on the house and the yard and.. whew.. I know if I go down that path, I’ll become exhausted. But trust me, I have as many material trappings as the rest of this modern world, and I just plain don’t want to keep them anymore.

I still desire to be successful, and my TV show is now underway and I truly believe that this will help so many people. This will be an answer to so many organizations…. It’s my passion and my cause, and I’m excited to continue down this path.

I know I’m blazing a trial that many, many others will be on soon. I’ll report in and let you know how things are going!

To our life.. living beyond the stuff!

How Beyond The Stuff Got Started

2008-10-29T18:37:00.001-04:00

It’s amazing, that a few weeks ago, I was talking to my husband that I was really ready to be working with friends. I’ve been working in coaching and training and Television for a very long time and while I love these things, I come and go out of peoples’ lives all of the time. I end up having a great time with people but then I’m gone and don’t see them again for a month or even 6 months.

So I was really longing to have a connection with a group of women who I could be 100% authentic with and be expressive and fun and rowdy or whatever mood hit at the time. Basically, I wanted a group of women to work with where I could have a great time and to learn and grow and to grow a business.

I had no idea that when I put that dream or wish out there how quickly it would develop.. and how exciting it would be.

I had been interviewed about two weeks ago for a website called www.motherhoodlater.com. In the interview, it came at a time where I was very uncertain about my next step. I’ve loved my TV tours that I do, and my lifestyle reporting, but I needed something a bit more full time and profitable. So, I started interviewing for jobs and went to a recruiter to get a full time sales job. I was ready to give up my life as I know it to go and work for a company where I could work and live a comfortable life here in Winter Park.

Little did I know what was in store!

In the interview I was completely open about where I was in my life and unsure of the next step. The founder of the social networking site, Robin Gorman Newman in NYC shared with me that she had recently felt the same way so we said we should do something together and how about a radio show? So, I loved the idea and jumped on it. The next day, I was talking with my good friend Liimu McGill in Philly, and she was sharing some great wisdom with me like she does and I said to her, “Liimu, you should have a radio show!” And she said immediately, “I'D LOVE A RADIO SHOW” and so I told her, “well, Robin and I are doing one.. and I think you’d be a great addition”!!! When I introduced the concept to Robin, she was gracious and excited. Now there were three.

Then, my friend Leslies’ name came coming to me over and over and over. So I called my friend Leslie Evans-Thorne, and told her, “Leslie, I don’t have time to talk, but your name has been coming to me over and over and over and so I want to tell you that my friends Robin, Liimu and I are going to do a radio show and are you in? Leslie responded, “yes, I’m in.. and have been wondering what my next step would be!” The group was now up to four!

The next day I was having lunch with two good friends Kelly Brown and Bruce Fagan. As I sat there and listened to the wise and wonderful Kelly, I said to her, “Kelly, I have created a radio show with four other women and it would not be complete unless you were a part of it. Are you interested?” Of course she said yes, and then Bruce, my dear friend who loves to be in the thick of everything exciting said he wanted in too! So there it was.. we had a group that was all like minded, open, 100% authentic, real, fun, engaging, and who had all been through numerous challenges and were still surviving in a manner that was uplifting to others.

The group was all introduced via emails and finally met this week on the phone. The initial meeting was nothing short of wonderful and entertaining and incredible and everyone felt the same. We all believe that this group is special and magical and I definitely believe that it has had a divine beginning! Seriously.. it came together so quickly and so naturally and it was almost supernaturally. And the personalities are so strong and it all flowed so nicely.

So that’s one of the great things I’ve learned. That when you’re tired of trying on your own, and you can’t quite get it all working right, to surrender your intentions to God, and let Him take a turn at running your life. I’ve had numerous conversations with Liimu about this, and surrendering is the hardest thing a person will ever do, but after you do, you find out that it is a much better, more peaceful way to live.

I’ll keep you all updated on the progress of the show. We’ll be looking for sponsors and for a network. It’s a special group, so we hope to find a home that will be of the most benefit to the most amount of people, because we know that millions of people need to hear the positive message that this group has to share.

Onward and upward!!!

We're Online

2008-10-29T13:08:00.004-04:00

Hi guys --

Here is our "new" blog on our site -- changes, deletions? You can add comments to this first blog entry and we can see how the functionality works.

Let me know what you think -- I've added everyone on as a contributor. We can add all sorts of stuff. I thought I'd put the basic blog out there -- and maybe Sway can refine? Thanks...this is fun! And, easy. -Leslie

PS. We can add video, logo, subscriptions to blog feeds, all sorts of stuff.