There comes a time in everyone’s life, when they break with tradition and go their own way. Sometimes it surprises people or hurts them because they feel that you’re leaving THEM and the choices they’ve made for their lives.
Blazing your own trail isn’t always easy. Trying to find your way can be a challenge especially when you have a lot of close family and friends always happy to advise you on your path.
I’m a firm believer though that all of us have a truth that is completely unique to us, just as unique as our fingerprints, and it might not always be right for everyone, or in fact for ANYONE else, but for us, it’s the way it’s supposed to be.
So, I’ve been doing a bit of this in my life, and some of it is a bit rough around the edges, but slowly, people are understanding that I’m not ruffling feathers to get attention or to just create a scene, but that I’m genuinely on a path and can’t be persuaded by them to alter my course. I’m dead set on being true to my own path, whether they understand or agree with it or not.
And what’s happening is the most unbelievable. When you get very clear about where you’re headed, and get rid of the Shoulda, woulda, couldas, then the challenges disappear and the path appears.
I’m finding that the path is still a bit winding, but there is no mistake, it’s putting one foot in front of another, like rocks that appear in a creek to get across.. I take a step into the unknown, and the next step mysteriously appears.
Once I got clear on being a PROMOTER, and a damn good one at that(!) then all sorts of creative ideas started flooding my head, and I got ultra productive and people and opportunities found me. I didn’t have to look very far. I basically showed up and the opportunities found me! I’m getting help from all directions and I feel like God’s taking me on a path and I’m just along for the ride. It’s so funny, because I’m back to doing the same sorts of things I did years ago, but now, I’m so much more balanced and have experience in so many other areas as well.
I have no idea how this ride will end up, but it’s left the business of “speakers”and has found it’s way into performers.. and into the TV world,.. and into entertainment! This is where I wanted to be all along, but didn’t know how to get there. There is also the dream of getting back to hosting a show, but now I see how I’m a woman of many talents and abilities and have tremendous energy and am able to accomplish a heck of a lot when I am focused and clear about my direction. I’ve become very selective of who I spend time with, protective about my time, and am using every waking hour to be productive. I’ve accomplished more in the past two weeks than I have in the past few years when I was trying to go straight for my dream of hosting a show with celebrity causes. Now that I am back to being “a promoter” which is what I am naturally, and instinctively, I’m unstoppable!!! . I’ve even lost 10 lbs that has just naturally fallen off because I’m taking such great care of myself- mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. As a result of that, I’m dressing up more, and getting more attention, and you know what? I’m eating it up! I’m just enjoying people who are enjoying me..and mirroring back to them the gratitude they’re showing me. I used to shrink away from attention for being attractive but now I embrace it and have fun with it! This new sense of myself has even made me more bold, creative, centered and structured with my coaching, and as a result, my clients are more empowered and moving forward more quickly!
When I look back over the course of my curvy path I took to get here, I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t change the struggles and the difficulties I endured trying to “find” myself. I tried and failed so many times, but I never gave up, and ultimately, I got pretty good at some of the stuff I failed at numerous times. Now, I can step up to a microphone and wing it, step in front of a camera and speak extemporaneously, write a speech within minutes, write a column or article or conduct a celebrity interview with ease, clean a house without stopping, cook a meal that impresses without burning it, sit down and do homework without fretting or screaming, do laundry without dreading it, have a meeting with a bunch of teachers over sensitive topics without stressing, sit down with the accountant without falling asleep, and I can have some ice cream or some sweet and not have to eat the whole thing.
I guess I finally got “Beyond my Stuff”; the stuff that held me back for so long. The stuff I knew about myself, or the stuff I didn’t know, and even the relationships that got in the way of me being effective. I finally found my personal power, and the acceptance for myself and have finally gotten to the point where I actually respect myself for the hard work I’ve put in and for the things I’ve learned and accomplished. I’ve learned how to say no. I’ve learned to disagree. I’ve learned I don’t need anyone’s else approval, I’ve stopped the constant socializing, and I’ve learned to limit my exposure to people and ideas that don’t influence me in the way I want to be influenced. And I’ve learned I’m powerful. I’m not just a “big personality with big dreams”.. I’m a solid person, with solid work experience, with great contacts, with excellent ideas, and with an amazing work ethic!
Now, I know I’m worth my success and now I gotta go get it. No one is going to hand it to me, I have to step up, set goals and go get it! And now, I will get to where I want to go, because I finally “GOT”, that it’s not the destination that matters, and I had to take that long and winding road to learn all of the things that I needed to know to get me to where I’ll ultimately go. This is what matters. It’s the time that an individual needs to grow and mature and blossom. It’s hard work, but when you arrive, you look and feel great!
Thanks to my “gals” at BTS, who have been an incredibly important piece of my puzzle.. of helping me see myself for who I am, for accepting me even when I wasn’t so in sync with myself or with others, and for telling me that I was on the right path and kept cheering me to push through to find my way.
So now that I’m here, I won’t stop, because this new place feels so good. It feels right and now I can sit in my office with complete acceptance, finish my projects and generate more, because I’m not “shrinking” any more. Here is my favorite quote that I have always loved, and am finally living!
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.Your playing small doesn't serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so thatother people won't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine, as children do.We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously giveother people permission to do the same.As we're liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others.~by Marianne WilliamsonA Return to Love: Reflections On The Principles of A Course In Miracles,p. 165, HarperCollins, 1992
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