Dumping Ground Stuff - by Robin Gorman Newman

I'm feeling a bit like a dumping ground this week, and it's both unsettling and empowering.

Unsettling because it felt draining. Empowering because if I can learn how to handle it, I'll cultivate an inner strength that I can put to good use.

Various people in my life shared their thoughts and negative energy with me, without my inviting it (or did I, unconsciously?). Hmmmm....

These are not women I'm particularly close with, but people who reached out to me to for a shoulder to lean on. On one hand, I try to be there for someone, but I find that I walk a fine line between offering support and being dragged down and depleted myself.

It was interesting because a close girlfriend of mine emailed me that she was annoyed at herself. She wanted to take the day off from work because she was sick, but instead made herself go to the office so she could be there for a client in need. You can probably guess what happened. The client didn't show up, and my friend was left kicking herself for not putting her own needs first. She swore she would never do that again.

Why is this so hard to do sometimes? To put ourselves first. And, be true to our inner voice that is screaming...."don't go there!" Is it that as women (not to exclude men) we do so much and feel the need to be there as caretaker for as many people as possible? And, where do you stop? The universe?

No wonder many of us, myself included, are just plain tired. It catches up with you emotionally and physically after continual practice.

So, how to change?

Well, I for one, want to better protect myself. I'm glad to listen to someone but not if they're constantly a taker. I'm not therapist to the world. It's not a role I've chosen to play. Maybe because I'm willing to give someone my ear, I can get taken advantage of. And, that leaves me feeling cold and exposed. I gave of myself, and was it truly appreciated?! I shouldn't be asking that question, should I? If I'm wondering, then why do it?! Right?

I'm going to work on letting people know that they're sharing too much information, or that I'm not in a position to comment...or however I feel I can most delicately handle a situation. No doubt, if they're sharing with me, they're sharing with others too. And, if I'm not in their close circle, then I become a third party objective voice. I understand that this can be beneficial, but not ultimately to me.

What do you do when you find someone is gravitating toward you and looks to you for advice, support, etc. and it's not someone you truly want to have in your life that way?

Whew! That's all a load off my mind....thanks for letting me share with you.

The Stuff Vibes Are Made Of - by Robin

We all give off vibes whether we know it or not. I've always been aware of this, and in fact often discuss it when I'm wearing my Love Coach hat and lecturing to singles re: the need to be conscious of how you come across to the opposite sex.

But, it's not just about dating and socializing.

It's about how we live our daily lives and how we come across to others. The energy we project and the energy we invite into our lives.

This particularly came to my attention during a recent trip.

I was visiting a friend in South Carolina, and we were shopping and browsing in one particular store. She was trying on some skirts and tops, and I was sharing with her where I'm at with my career. I was questioning where I'm heading. Discussing the need to attract more monetary opportunities. Talking about some pursuits I've long had on my To Do list, wondering when and if I might get to them one day.

She was listening thoughtfully and lending me a very supportive ear.

Out of the blue, the sales girl in the store came over to me, and asked if she could ask me an "odd" question. She didn't want to make me uncomfortable, but wanted to know if it was okay if she gave me a hug.

I was pretty taken aback at the moment, but said "sure".

She said she just felt like I needed one.

I found that quite curious since she hadn't been listening to my discussion with my friend, and for the moment, I didn't get why she'd think I had that need. But, then it occurred to me that I was feeling a little sad and lost when chatting with my friend, and clearly the universe picked up that vibe. And, the sales girl readily tuned into it and reach out.

How totally sweet that was of her. It was so very touching. And, it heightened my awareness of the "stuff" that vibes are made of. Amazing how a tone of voice, body language, energy, etc. when put out there can be so easily picked up by someone wish a deep sense of awareness. And, how supportive for someone to connect with me on that level. It was truly appreciated.

So, don't hesitate to wear your "stuff" on your sleeve, because you never know when someone might give you a hug. And, the same can be said of you. The more self aware we become, the better able we are to be there for someone else in need. If we're all caught up on our own stuff, we can't really hear or feel for others. So, let it out as best you can. Find an empathetic ear. Or meditate. But, release, and invite the positive vibes to take over.