I was re-reading some old journals, and I came across this entry from December 7 of last year (my dad's birthday). I thought you guys would enjoy it in all its unedited glory. And the last part was IN MY JOURNAL, even though I had no idea yet what was about to unfold in the coming months...eerie:
Dear God,
I'm here at the Charleston Airport, waiting for my flight. It's supposed to leave in a half hour and I'm inspired to write.
Tihs weekend was such a blessing. First, it was magical - the women are all inspiring and...oop - boarding....
I'm back. The women. I was talking about the women. They are all at once, inspiring, engaging, intelligent, delightful. We chatted and talked nonstop, as the "token males" looked on. At one point, [someone] expressed concerns that if she laid bare her darker secrets, would the media backlash, the public rejection even, damage the shared vision? I leapt to my feet and imagined that The Howard Stern and Rush Limbaughs of the world were judging and criticizing us from Landon and Leslie's stone hearth. "Yeah? She did that. And she's still here to talk about it. She had the balls to share it with the world in the hopes that it might encourage someone else somewhere. I lived in my car. I was homeless for four months. I'm a f***ing drunk who's been graced with the willingness to be sober. But yeah, I'm a drunk. I go to AA. So what? You got something to say? So say it, you big-nosed bastard. What? What do you have to say? What? BRING IT. WHAT???"
They were pissing themselves, laughing. We had so many moments like that. Like yesterday morning, when I was out at 7 am with Leslie and Mary showing them my Dreambodies plyometric exercises. And as we did our jumping jacks, Leslie's huge black dog ws sniffing my crotch, then I suppose, deciding I was worthy of his affections, leapt up on his hind legs, his big, fat, heavy paws on my shoulders, as if saying "Dance with me!"
It was glorious. Running this morning, as the fog rolled in across th emarsh and the egrets too to the air, I thanked God for blessing me with understanding of my purpose - that it so aligns with my desires and my joy center. Then, as I drove along Route 17, toward the airport, the tears came. Gratitude washed over me and spilled down my cheeks as I said over and over, "Thank God. Thank God."
The day my father died
I swore I heard him say
Beloved, don't you cry for I'm not far away
Just keep your honesty
The truth shall set you free
And follow all your dreams
Of who you long to be
And if you believe in yourself
Then you don't need anything
or anybody else
And if you believe in your dreams
Then your dreams will come true
So believe in yourself
As I believe in you
And now I'm older
Though still his baby girl
And what he told that child
Was a secret of this world
There is magic in believing
It's the pathway to achieving
So wish on that star
Believe in who you are
Because it all begins with you
Cause if you believe in yourself
Then you don't need anything
or anybody else
And if you believe in your dreams
Then your dreams will come true
So believe in yourself
As I believe in you
Yes, believe in yourself
As I believe in you.
I didn't even realize I had written the final pieces of that song right after that weekend. Pretty powerful weekend it was, to bring that song back into my life and into the world. And now look at all it has become. So, thank you guys, for all that you have been in my life. Thank you guys, for all that you continue to be - shining examples of the power of what we can all become ... if we just believe.
Much love to you all, and Happy Holidays.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Last Minute Change
I hosted our SPD Parent Support Group last night. On Friday night, the speaker who was booked called me to cancel due to a family emergency. I was booked all day Saturday and Sunday and didn’t think most people wanted to do business then anyway, so I decided to wait until Monday morning.
I called the local Whole Foods and local Chamberlains and didn’t have any luck there. I even called the corporate office at Chamberlains and didn’t have any luck. I contacted a neighbor who is a nutritionist but she wasn’t available. So I finally decided whatever was supposed to be would be, and that if I found a speaker that came knocking, then I’d book them. So finally, my mom called and told me about Ken Blake, the owner of Curves. I called him and he accepted!
What a treat! Ken was such a delight and so dead on with his message. Although we had a small crowd, he gave the exact message that each of us needed. He was able to hear all of the stories of struggles that each of us have endured with finding the right therapies for our kids and add some advice and lots of empathy and encouragement for all of us.
What an amazing night. It wasn’t what I had expected but it was exactly what was perfect. The right speaker gave the right message for the people who were there, and anyone else wouldn’t have been as perfect as the substitute who came.
So, I’ve learned, when things don’t go your way, when someone cancels on you or changes the plans and you weren’t expecting it, I’ve learned just to go with the flow and know that it’s exactly as it should be.
Perfect!
I called the local Whole Foods and local Chamberlains and didn’t have any luck there. I even called the corporate office at Chamberlains and didn’t have any luck. I contacted a neighbor who is a nutritionist but she wasn’t available. So I finally decided whatever was supposed to be would be, and that if I found a speaker that came knocking, then I’d book them. So finally, my mom called and told me about Ken Blake, the owner of Curves. I called him and he accepted!
What a treat! Ken was such a delight and so dead on with his message. Although we had a small crowd, he gave the exact message that each of us needed. He was able to hear all of the stories of struggles that each of us have endured with finding the right therapies for our kids and add some advice and lots of empathy and encouragement for all of us.
What an amazing night. It wasn’t what I had expected but it was exactly what was perfect. The right speaker gave the right message for the people who were there, and anyone else wouldn’t have been as perfect as the substitute who came.
So, I’ve learned, when things don’t go your way, when someone cancels on you or changes the plans and you weren’t expecting it, I’ve learned just to go with the flow and know that it’s exactly as it should be.
Perfect!
Monday, March 2, 2009
My Snow Day - by Liimu
Snow is still falling here in PA, and I was one of about a half dozen people who went to the gym, anyway. I mean, really - why not? If I were still binge eating, I would certainly have trekked out to get to the Wawa or Whole Foods to get my stash. Why wouldn't I trek the 10 minutes over to the gym, especially since they were kind enough to have people manning the Kid Care?
I'm so glad I did, too, because it was an awesome workout. I ran 10 minutes at 5.0 mph, then went on to do legs. First, I did Olympic squats, and did 6 reps with 125 pounds (including the weight of the bar). A personal record. Then, on to another personal record - I did a set of 6 reps leg presses at 430 pounds!!! 500 pounds, here we come! Then, my hip was hurting me so my Smith squats were pretty lame (we don't have a hack squat machine at our gym) and then on to burning leg extensions and curls, and then calf raises. No step ups, thank GOD. Then, I decided to take advantage of the 2-hour babysitting and run for a half hour, despite the fact that my legs were burning. So, that was a good workout!
The girls are all home from school and I'm here listening to my
two-year old snore, trying to catch up on blog posts and my novel. I haven't written in days. Plus, I have to edit and post the latest radio show for Beyond the Stuff. Thank goodness I'm not working right now! Although I did have a conversation about some potential work coming up in a week or two, so that means JAMAICA IN APRIL!! WOO HOO!
So, that's how I spent my snow day. How about you?
I'm so glad I did, too, because it was an awesome workout. I ran 10 minutes at 5.0 mph, then went on to do legs. First, I did Olympic squats, and did 6 reps with 125 pounds (including the weight of the bar). A personal record. Then, on to another personal record - I did a set of 6 reps leg presses at 430 pounds!!! 500 pounds, here we come! Then, my hip was hurting me so my Smith squats were pretty lame (we don't have a hack squat machine at our gym) and then on to burning leg extensions and curls, and then calf raises. No step ups, thank GOD. Then, I decided to take advantage of the 2-hour babysitting and run for a half hour, despite the fact that my legs were burning. So, that was a good workout!
The girls are all home from school and I'm here listening to my
two-year old snore, trying to catch up on blog posts and my novel. I haven't written in days. Plus, I have to edit and post the latest radio show for Beyond the Stuff. Thank goodness I'm not working right now! Although I did have a conversation about some potential work coming up in a week or two, so that means JAMAICA IN APRIL!! WOO HOO!So, that's how I spent my snow day. How about you?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
A Week's Worth of Miscellaneous Stuff - by Robin Gorman Newman
I have to say I don't know what to specifically blog about this week....so maybe I'll just share my week wiht you.
I've been multi-tasking big time, a lot with unexpected personal matters.
My son turned 6 this week...and that was exciting. At the same time, some challenges have arisen with him that have occupied much of my thoughts, concern and time. (I prefer not to elaborate at this time...but I know that things will ultimately work themselves out.)
His party is Sunday, and I'm totally psyched for that. He'll love it. We already had one earlier this week for him in the classroom, and it was sweet.
It's that time of the month for me... if you gals out there know what I mean...so I'm not feeling the greatest.
My senior dad went to his cardiologist this week, and was put on two new medications, one of which he isn't overly keen on taking, despite saying on a daily basis that he doesn't feel great.
I'm beginning a new eating/exercise regime. I refuse to say diet, but rather a lifestyle change. It's been two days. I've done "ok" with it thus far. It's been a struggle. I'm truly working on altering my outlook on food. I'd love to view it as sustenance and nourishment versus a "need." I feel I'll get there, and that would be an amazing accomplishment.
Professionally, I'm moving forward with the t-shirts, etc. for MotherhoodLater.com. The designs are still not fully finalized, but I'm hoping in the next 1-2 weeks, I'll be able to post a Shop page on the site.
Yesterday, a friend came over, and our goal was to work together in preparing for teleclasses we'd both like to offer potentially through freeconference.com. While we spent time on that, we wound up ultimately rearranging some furniture in my house. How that happened exactly, I don't know. She is a very aesthetic person, and likes doing this for people, so she brought it up. I just went with the flow of her ideas, and it truly felt like some new positive energy opened up in my home. We switched the direction of the kitchen table, for one, and I'm really liking it. Who knew?! The whole kitchen looks different, and for the better. It's SO great to be open to change. I didn't even know I was looking for change in that way, but it found me.
Today I had a meeting with a Reverend at a local church, and there is a lovely room that would be available for a workshop series I'm planning for the NY chapter of MotherhoodLater.com. So, I'm psyched about that. I've been seeking out a venue for some time now. Today it clicked.
This afternoon I got yelled at by a male parking meter attendant for supposedly extending my car over the walkway in a parking lot. Boy....he's got a lot of anger in him. You'd think I commited a crime. Some people in this world are just not happy and they need to vent at strangers. At first I was angry at him, but then I felt empathy.
Did I tell you I got a call from the supermarket where we ordered Seth's cake? Four days before the party, they tell me they can't get a Power Ranger cake...the one Seth specially picked out. So...what to do...switch to Spiderman? Call another store? (We switched to Spiderman.)
Oh....and our contractor for our upcoming basement project advised us this week that there is a problem with the architectural plans, and things have to be redone. And, our project is now delayed until May...was supposed to start in February.
Today I attended an event called WHO DO YOU KNOW LUNCHEON. It's something I launched a year ago with a friend, and we're still going strong. We meet once/month to share our professional pursuits and inspire, empower and advise each other. It's been helpful and very supportive, kinda like what I feel from the BTS gals. It's so great to be in the company of those who you feel "have your back."
Tomorrow I'm having lunch with a friend from a playwrights group that I also launched in my town. I aspire to write a play one day...it's on my TO DO list....though I haven't attended the group in some time now. I've just had other priorites, but my love of theatre remains.
I'm glad the weekend is coming up. I need to chill a bit, if possible. This was quite the all-consuming week on many levels.
But, you know what? I give it up to the universe. I am happy about those projects that are moving forward, and I'm grateful as some doors open. As for the "bumps" along the way with some items, they'll take care of themselves in time. I trust in that.
I've been multi-tasking big time, a lot with unexpected personal matters.
My son turned 6 this week...and that was exciting. At the same time, some challenges have arisen with him that have occupied much of my thoughts, concern and time. (I prefer not to elaborate at this time...but I know that things will ultimately work themselves out.)
His party is Sunday, and I'm totally psyched for that. He'll love it. We already had one earlier this week for him in the classroom, and it was sweet.
It's that time of the month for me... if you gals out there know what I mean...so I'm not feeling the greatest.
My senior dad went to his cardiologist this week, and was put on two new medications, one of which he isn't overly keen on taking, despite saying on a daily basis that he doesn't feel great.
I'm beginning a new eating/exercise regime. I refuse to say diet, but rather a lifestyle change. It's been two days. I've done "ok" with it thus far. It's been a struggle. I'm truly working on altering my outlook on food. I'd love to view it as sustenance and nourishment versus a "need." I feel I'll get there, and that would be an amazing accomplishment.
Professionally, I'm moving forward with the t-shirts, etc. for MotherhoodLater.com. The designs are still not fully finalized, but I'm hoping in the next 1-2 weeks, I'll be able to post a Shop page on the site.
Yesterday, a friend came over, and our goal was to work together in preparing for teleclasses we'd both like to offer potentially through freeconference.com. While we spent time on that, we wound up ultimately rearranging some furniture in my house. How that happened exactly, I don't know. She is a very aesthetic person, and likes doing this for people, so she brought it up. I just went with the flow of her ideas, and it truly felt like some new positive energy opened up in my home. We switched the direction of the kitchen table, for one, and I'm really liking it. Who knew?! The whole kitchen looks different, and for the better. It's SO great to be open to change. I didn't even know I was looking for change in that way, but it found me.
Today I had a meeting with a Reverend at a local church, and there is a lovely room that would be available for a workshop series I'm planning for the NY chapter of MotherhoodLater.com. So, I'm psyched about that. I've been seeking out a venue for some time now. Today it clicked.
This afternoon I got yelled at by a male parking meter attendant for supposedly extending my car over the walkway in a parking lot. Boy....he's got a lot of anger in him. You'd think I commited a crime. Some people in this world are just not happy and they need to vent at strangers. At first I was angry at him, but then I felt empathy.
Did I tell you I got a call from the supermarket where we ordered Seth's cake? Four days before the party, they tell me they can't get a Power Ranger cake...the one Seth specially picked out. So...what to do...switch to Spiderman? Call another store? (We switched to Spiderman.)
Oh....and our contractor for our upcoming basement project advised us this week that there is a problem with the architectural plans, and things have to be redone. And, our project is now delayed until May...was supposed to start in February.
Today I attended an event called WHO DO YOU KNOW LUNCHEON. It's something I launched a year ago with a friend, and we're still going strong. We meet once/month to share our professional pursuits and inspire, empower and advise each other. It's been helpful and very supportive, kinda like what I feel from the BTS gals. It's so great to be in the company of those who you feel "have your back."
Tomorrow I'm having lunch with a friend from a playwrights group that I also launched in my town. I aspire to write a play one day...it's on my TO DO list....though I haven't attended the group in some time now. I've just had other priorites, but my love of theatre remains.
I'm glad the weekend is coming up. I need to chill a bit, if possible. This was quite the all-consuming week on many levels.
But, you know what? I give it up to the universe. I am happy about those projects that are moving forward, and I'm grateful as some doors open. As for the "bumps" along the way with some items, they'll take care of themselves in time. I trust in that.
The Path To Freedom! By Kelly K. Brown
Me at the Seattle Space Needle on My Own Path to Freedom!This week started with me living what could have been seen, felt and experienced by me as a ‘painful’ experience. And yet, because I CHOSE to stay ‘present in the very moment’ of the circumstance, I handled the experience in the most effective way possible---by only seeing everyone involved through the eyes of love---a way of living I’ve been practicing as a part of my ‘in the moment’ existence for over a year!
You can imagine how interesting it then was to me, when this exact same topic came up again and again throughout my week.
People, loved ones, friends… many were experiencing feelings, thoughts and the emotion of ‘pain’ about current life events… and in chatting sometimes they experienced it about past events. Past or present, all pain can be avoided by remembering and implementing the practice of one simple action.
Choosing to stay ‘present in the moment’. (Staying ‘present in the moment’ always brings FREEDOM when we choose it!)
Having sufferered the pain of what I call ‘going around the mountain’ again and again over a particular situation or what another person, does, says, did or didn’t do, should have done or I expected them to do---Always, always equals PAIN FOR ME (AND YOU!)
This topic can ‘appear’ complex, so let me explain more carefully.
When we are NOT choosing to live ‘in the moment’, and when things then don’t go OUR way, “You know, the way we think things should go”, or when people don’t behave the way WE think is right or they SHOULD… we experience PAIN!
It is in THAT moment when our thoughts begin to tell us made up stories with the attached history of old experiences, old programming and old emotions… we LOSE our freedom and begin creating personal PAIN. Yes, WE create our own pain---the other person has nothing to do with it whatsoever. (You may want to re-read that last line, as for some this concept could be difficult to understand at first.)
We tell ourselves (and truly want to believe) that all our angst and upset is about another, their actions, or a certain circumstance, but the TRUTH is that it is OUR CHOICE of thoughts in this moment, OUR disappointment about an unmet expectation and our anger that things SHOULDN’T be this way that brings us into immediate pain.
It is an interesting experience to feel how in ONE moment we can change our thoughts AND then instantly and literally FEEL better. We can experience unbelievable freedom when we wisely monitor and choose our thoughts and begin focusing on what we now WANT, instead of what we didn’t like about what just happened or occurred!
When living ‘present in the moment’ I'm able to tell myself NO STORY whatsoever about what is happening.
To put it in plain terms, I DEPERSONALIZE every happening to an understanding of the situation or circumstance as being just a thing ‘that is!’.
No one is wrong
No one is right
No one is at fault… No Story! A happening just occurred---That’s it!
This is TRUTH: Regardless of what the other is thinking, not thinking or how they feel, what their inner perspective is or was, what story they are telling in their mind… it is theirs! It is NOT about us; in fact, we can never really know what another person is thinking anyway (even though we often believe and state that we do).
By living in a state of allowing through conscious awareness, we can surrender to the situation at hand. (Read: I can choose to accept the situation just as it is.)
The gift of awareness is that in the moment we are aware, we can CHOOSE not to tell ourselves a story of inner thoughts from OLD, OUTDATED life experiences. In this moment, what is happening is what is happening NOW and has nothing to do with anything anyone ever said or ever did in the past. (That would be adding in a STORY).
And this is where a common struggle comes in… when we are not living in conscious awareness, when someone doesn’t behave as we think they SHOULD, our thoughts start telling us OLD stories as if they were the ‘present moment TRUTH. Thoughts like:
I can’t believe they did THAT to me! Why didn’t I see this coming?
I should have known better than to trust them, they always…
This is what I get for being such a nice gal/guy.
They did that on purpose just to hurt me---just like everyone else does...
I knew this would happen, this is what ALWAYS happens to me
They make me so angry, they should have... (or shouldn't have...)
Blah, Blah, Blah…
Law of Attraction is extraordinarily fair! It attracts more of what you focus on, so in this example by focusing and thinking ALL those negative thoughts… you get MORE negative thoughts… and you wake up 5 hours later to realize you’ve been obsessing about this for FIVE STRAIGHT HOURS! Wasting your very life with FIVE hours of unproductive, pain-inducing, negative thinking… and worse, these type of thoughts never serve you or the greater good (nothing productive can come from these type of thoughts), they just bring pain in the form of hurt feelings, anger, frustration, irritation and more. (And when not careful… these thoughts can become rather addictive… think like a jilted lover for a sec---one can truly become obsessed in the mire of negative thinking.)
This is where a true understanding of life can create some fun however. If you can stay present in the moment, and CHOOSE NOT to tell any stories in your thoughts, you will find you have chosen to become the OBSERVER of your thoughts.
In that moment, you have just realized the very truth of life that most people never, ever get! YOU are the ‘thinker of your thoughts’, you are NOT your thoughts! That means YOU get to control what you think---you do have a choice! So, you might choose to entertain better feeling thoughts like:
What is IS what is.
This is not exactly what I was expecting.
I have no idea why they behaved this way or why this happened.
I will tell myself no ‘old, habitual, programmed thoughts’ on this topic.
I choose to believe this is about where they are in their life, and not about me.
Maybe they were scared, or worried, or under stress: who knows?
This isn’t about me—people act the way they do for their very OWN reasons.
It could be anything really. I can’t know what they were thinking.
I’ll probably never know so I won’t waste my present moment time:
1) worrying about what the reason was or wasn’t
2) being upset or anguishing through all the negative possibilities, or
3) finding ways to make me right and them wrong so I can feel better in this situation
4) figuring out ways and endless points of view to place blame on them.
Instead, I can choose to:
Live this experience exactly as it is with NO expectation of a different, better or worse outcome, or a ‘how it should have been’ because that time is NOW gone and in the past and it cannot be re-lived, so why would I try to re-live it over and over and over again in the thoughts of my mind? Now is all we’ve got, and we can CHOOSE our thoughts and focus in this NOW moment… and the next, and the next, etc.
We can then start thinking thoughts like:
1) I will choose to love myself and this other person exactly as we are with no judgment toward either of us in this situation. I can choose be the ‘observer’ of my thoughts, and just see what can be learned from this current situation.
2) I will accept that ‘what is IS what is', and then immediately make the choice to now focus ONLY on what I want to have, be, create or experience in my life.
3) I will focus and envision all my future interactions with this other person going exactly the way I’d like with love and joy for all involved.
What you focus on expands and you WILL begin to attract and then experience brand new and much better outcomes as soon as you fill your mind with brand new thoughts, dreams, ideas and feelings of what you now want.
That’s how you do it… Every single time, in every single circumstance, in every life experience!
1) Get and/or stay present in the moment.
2) See what is, and accept that what is IS what is.
3) Note the contrast WITHOUT adding any STORY---no story, no emotion, no personalizing, no old programming thoughts.
4) Begin immediately to ask for and focus on what you NOW want to see in this situation or situations like it.
5) Continue! Focus on those good ideas until you think of something else you want, and then focus on that!
Sounds difficult… and I assure you practice will make it easier and easier and easier--- the more you stay present in the moment and are aware of your thoughts, the easier it gets! And best of all, the REWARD for all your practice is the Path of Freedom: PEACE, JOY, HAPPINESS and EXTRAORDINARY LOVE FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
Choose YOUR Path of Freedom today. Start simply by just becoming aware of your thoughts. Listen to what your thoughts are! As time goes on, become the Observer! Start to notice your positive and negative thoughts and begin to choose only the positive thoughts you now want to think and focus on. From there, it’s nothing more than practice… and we are always practicing something aren’t we?
To YOUR Path of Freedom!
Kelly
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Shaking Loose and Finding Your Way by Mary
This is me.. happily promoting.. on the phone.. in my office!
There comes a time in everyone’s life, when they break with tradition and go their own way. Sometimes it surprises people or hurts them because they feel that you’re leaving THEM and the choices they’ve made for their lives.
Blazing your own trail isn’t always easy. Trying to find your way can be a challenge especially when you have a lot of close family and friends always happy to advise you on your path.
I’m a firm believer though that all of us have a truth that is completely unique to us, just as unique as our fingerprints, and it might not always be right for everyone, or in fact for ANYONE else, but for us, it’s the way it’s supposed to be.
So, I’ve been doing a bit of this in my life, and some of it is a bit rough around the edges, but slowly, people are understanding that I’m not ruffling feathers to get attention or to just create a scene, but that I’m genuinely on a path and can’t be persuaded by them to alter my course. I’m dead set on being true to my own path, whether they understand or agree with it or not.
And what’s happening is the most unbelievable. When you get very clear about where you’re headed, and get rid of the Shoulda, woulda, couldas, then the challenges disappear and the path appears.
I’m finding that the path is still a bit winding, but there is no mistake, it’s putting one foot in front of another, like rocks that appear in a creek to get across.. I take a step into the unknown, and the next step mysteriously appears.
Once I got clear on being a PROMOTER, and a damn good one at that(!) then all sorts of creative ideas started flooding my head, and I got ultra productive and people and opportunities found me. I didn’t have to look very far. I basically showed up and the opportunities found me! I’m getting help from all directions and I feel like God’s taking me on a path and I’m just along for the ride. It’s so funny, because I’m back to doing the same sorts of things I did years ago, but now, I’m so much more balanced and have experience in so many other areas as well.
I have no idea how this ride will end up, but it’s left the business of “speakers”and has found it’s way into performers.. and into the TV world,.. and into entertainment! This is where I wanted to be all along, but didn’t know how to get there. There is also the dream of getting back to hosting a show, but now I see how I’m a woman of many talents and abilities and have tremendous energy and am able to accomplish a heck of a lot when I am focused and clear about my direction. I’ve become very selective of who I spend time with, protective about my time, and am using every waking hour to be productive. I’ve accomplished more in the past two weeks than I have in the past few years when I was trying to go straight for my dream of hosting a show with celebrity causes. Now that I am back to being “a promoter” which is what I am naturally, and instinctively, I’m unstoppable!!! . I’ve even lost 10 lbs that has just naturally fallen off because I’m taking such great care of myself- mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. As a result of that, I’m dressing up more, and getting more attention, and you know what? I’m eating it up! I’m just enjoying people who are enjoying me..and mirroring back to them the gratitude they’re showing me. I used to shrink away from attention for being attractive but now I embrace it and have fun with it! This new sense of myself has even made me more bold, creative, centered and structured with my coaching, and as a result, my clients are more empowered and moving forward more quickly!
When I look back over the course of my curvy path I took to get here, I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t change the struggles and the difficulties I endured trying to “find” myself. I tried and failed so many times, but I never gave up, and ultimately, I got pretty good at some of the stuff I failed at numerous times. Now, I can step up to a microphone and wing it, step in front of a camera and speak extemporaneously, write a speech within minutes, write a column or article or conduct a celebrity interview with ease, clean a house without stopping, cook a meal that impresses without burning it, sit down and do homework without fretting or screaming, do laundry without dreading it, have a meeting with a bunch of teachers over sensitive topics without stressing, sit down with the accountant without falling asleep, and I can have some ice cream or some sweet and not have to eat the whole thing.
I guess I finally got “Beyond my Stuff”; the stuff that held me back for so long. The stuff I knew about myself, or the stuff I didn’t know, and even the relationships that got in the way of me being effective. I finally found my personal power, and the acceptance for myself and have finally gotten to the point where I actually respect myself for the hard work I’ve put in and for the things I’ve learned and accomplished. I’ve learned how to say no. I’ve learned to disagree. I’ve learned I don’t need anyone’s else approval, I’ve stopped the constant socializing, and I’ve learned to limit my exposure to people and ideas that don’t influence me in the way I want to be influenced. And I’ve learned I’m powerful. I’m not just a “big personality with big dreams”.. I’m a solid person, with solid work experience, with great contacts, with excellent ideas, and with an amazing work ethic!
Now, I know I’m worth my success and now I gotta go get it. No one is going to hand it to me, I have to step up, set goals and go get it! And now, I will get to where I want to go, because I finally “GOT”, that it’s not the destination that matters, and I had to take that long and winding road to learn all of the things that I needed to know to get me to where I’ll ultimately go. This is what matters. It’s the time that an individual needs to grow and mature and blossom. It’s hard work, but when you arrive, you look and feel great!
Thanks to my “gals” at BTS, who have been an incredibly important piece of my puzzle.. of helping me see myself for who I am, for accepting me even when I wasn’t so in sync with myself or with others, and for telling me that I was on the right path and kept cheering me to push through to find my way.
So now that I’m here, I won’t stop, because this new place feels so good. It feels right and now I can sit in my office with complete acceptance, finish my projects and generate more, because I’m not “shrinking” any more. Here is my favorite quote that I have always loved, and am finally living!
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.Your playing small doesn't serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so thatother people won't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine, as children do.We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously giveother people permission to do the same.As we're liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others.~by Marianne WilliamsonA Return to Love: Reflections On The Principles of A Course In Miracles,p. 165, HarperCollins, 1992
There comes a time in everyone’s life, when they break with tradition and go their own way. Sometimes it surprises people or hurts them because they feel that you’re leaving THEM and the choices they’ve made for their lives.
Blazing your own trail isn’t always easy. Trying to find your way can be a challenge especially when you have a lot of close family and friends always happy to advise you on your path.
I’m a firm believer though that all of us have a truth that is completely unique to us, just as unique as our fingerprints, and it might not always be right for everyone, or in fact for ANYONE else, but for us, it’s the way it’s supposed to be.
So, I’ve been doing a bit of this in my life, and some of it is a bit rough around the edges, but slowly, people are understanding that I’m not ruffling feathers to get attention or to just create a scene, but that I’m genuinely on a path and can’t be persuaded by them to alter my course. I’m dead set on being true to my own path, whether they understand or agree with it or not.
And what’s happening is the most unbelievable. When you get very clear about where you’re headed, and get rid of the Shoulda, woulda, couldas, then the challenges disappear and the path appears.
I’m finding that the path is still a bit winding, but there is no mistake, it’s putting one foot in front of another, like rocks that appear in a creek to get across.. I take a step into the unknown, and the next step mysteriously appears.
Once I got clear on being a PROMOTER, and a damn good one at that(!) then all sorts of creative ideas started flooding my head, and I got ultra productive and people and opportunities found me. I didn’t have to look very far. I basically showed up and the opportunities found me! I’m getting help from all directions and I feel like God’s taking me on a path and I’m just along for the ride. It’s so funny, because I’m back to doing the same sorts of things I did years ago, but now, I’m so much more balanced and have experience in so many other areas as well.
I have no idea how this ride will end up, but it’s left the business of “speakers”and has found it’s way into performers.. and into the TV world,.. and into entertainment! This is where I wanted to be all along, but didn’t know how to get there. There is also the dream of getting back to hosting a show, but now I see how I’m a woman of many talents and abilities and have tremendous energy and am able to accomplish a heck of a lot when I am focused and clear about my direction. I’ve become very selective of who I spend time with, protective about my time, and am using every waking hour to be productive. I’ve accomplished more in the past two weeks than I have in the past few years when I was trying to go straight for my dream of hosting a show with celebrity causes. Now that I am back to being “a promoter” which is what I am naturally, and instinctively, I’m unstoppable!!! . I’ve even lost 10 lbs that has just naturally fallen off because I’m taking such great care of myself- mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. As a result of that, I’m dressing up more, and getting more attention, and you know what? I’m eating it up! I’m just enjoying people who are enjoying me..and mirroring back to them the gratitude they’re showing me. I used to shrink away from attention for being attractive but now I embrace it and have fun with it! This new sense of myself has even made me more bold, creative, centered and structured with my coaching, and as a result, my clients are more empowered and moving forward more quickly!
When I look back over the course of my curvy path I took to get here, I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t change the struggles and the difficulties I endured trying to “find” myself. I tried and failed so many times, but I never gave up, and ultimately, I got pretty good at some of the stuff I failed at numerous times. Now, I can step up to a microphone and wing it, step in front of a camera and speak extemporaneously, write a speech within minutes, write a column or article or conduct a celebrity interview with ease, clean a house without stopping, cook a meal that impresses without burning it, sit down and do homework without fretting or screaming, do laundry without dreading it, have a meeting with a bunch of teachers over sensitive topics without stressing, sit down with the accountant without falling asleep, and I can have some ice cream or some sweet and not have to eat the whole thing.
I guess I finally got “Beyond my Stuff”; the stuff that held me back for so long. The stuff I knew about myself, or the stuff I didn’t know, and even the relationships that got in the way of me being effective. I finally found my personal power, and the acceptance for myself and have finally gotten to the point where I actually respect myself for the hard work I’ve put in and for the things I’ve learned and accomplished. I’ve learned how to say no. I’ve learned to disagree. I’ve learned I don’t need anyone’s else approval, I’ve stopped the constant socializing, and I’ve learned to limit my exposure to people and ideas that don’t influence me in the way I want to be influenced. And I’ve learned I’m powerful. I’m not just a “big personality with big dreams”.. I’m a solid person, with solid work experience, with great contacts, with excellent ideas, and with an amazing work ethic!
Now, I know I’m worth my success and now I gotta go get it. No one is going to hand it to me, I have to step up, set goals and go get it! And now, I will get to where I want to go, because I finally “GOT”, that it’s not the destination that matters, and I had to take that long and winding road to learn all of the things that I needed to know to get me to where I’ll ultimately go. This is what matters. It’s the time that an individual needs to grow and mature and blossom. It’s hard work, but when you arrive, you look and feel great!
Thanks to my “gals” at BTS, who have been an incredibly important piece of my puzzle.. of helping me see myself for who I am, for accepting me even when I wasn’t so in sync with myself or with others, and for telling me that I was on the right path and kept cheering me to push through to find my way.
So now that I’m here, I won’t stop, because this new place feels so good. It feels right and now I can sit in my office with complete acceptance, finish my projects and generate more, because I’m not “shrinking” any more. Here is my favorite quote that I have always loved, and am finally living!
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.Your playing small doesn't serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so thatother people won't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine, as children do.We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously giveother people permission to do the same.As we're liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others.~by Marianne WilliamsonA Return to Love: Reflections On The Principles of A Course In Miracles,p. 165, HarperCollins, 1992
Monday, February 23, 2009
When Bad Stuff Happens...Make it GOOD - by Liimu
I want to share with you guys something really wonderful that happened this week. So, I mentioned a few days ago how devastated I was by the fact that this writing workshop I had been looking forward to for months was cancelled. The poor author who was planning to facilitate had some serious health stuff she has to tend to this weekend. Not only can I not fault her for having to postpone/cancel the workshop, I'm seriously worried for her and saying all the prayers I can say.
That being said, I was absolutely devastated. Did I mention I was devastated? In my mind, I had built this workshop up to be the ultimate turning point, the breakout moment for me as an author. The facilitator would help me with my writing, I would get her all excited about working out and fitness and she and I would be come BFFs and skip off into the sunset together into Bestselling Authorland.
So, when the workshop was cancelled, on some level, at least for a moment, I felt like that dream of mine had been cancelled. For just a moment, I felt like I was being relegated back to the way, way back seat of my father's station wagon, when I had been promised that I'd get to sit in the front! Wahhh...(have any of you heard any of these Fred videos on YouTube? Sorry, I digress.)
Anyhoo, after a little bit of boo hoo-ing, and some warm loving hugs from my very sympathetic husband and children, I ... how shall I put it? GOT OVER IT. And the next morning, I woke up with a fire in my belly about writing, and a keen awareness that the only thing standing in the way of my happy skip off into the sunsets of Bestselling Authorland was my own two hands. If I'd put them to good use, a skipping I would go. I sat down on my couch and got to work on the outline for the novel. And I finished it! And then, later that day, I wrote 2500 words toward the first draft, and made an accountability agreement with a dear friend to write 2000 words every day (except on the weekends, when I will write 500 words a day).
Something has changed. I have read about other authors saying how the characters come to life and the novel pulls at you, begging, even insisting that you write it. It nearly writes itself. This is how it feels! I never thought I would feel that way, but I also never felt like I would be able to relate to runners who say that after a certain point, they feel like they could run forever. HAH! I've felt that, too!
Can I say it? I AM A WRITER! Now on to finishing this draft and getting it into the hands of a publisher, so I can finally realize my destiny of becoming a BESTSELLING AUTHOR!
That being said, I was absolutely devastated. Did I mention I was devastated? In my mind, I had built this workshop up to be the ultimate turning point, the breakout moment for me as an author. The facilitator would help me with my writing, I would get her all excited about working out and fitness and she and I would be come BFFs and skip off into the sunset together into Bestselling Authorland.
So, when the workshop was cancelled, on some level, at least for a moment, I felt like that dream of mine had been cancelled. For just a moment, I felt like I was being relegated back to the way, way back seat of my father's station wagon, when I had been promised that I'd get to sit in the front! Wahhh...(have any of you heard any of these Fred videos on YouTube? Sorry, I digress.)
Anyhoo, after a little bit of boo hoo-ing, and some warm loving hugs from my very sympathetic husband and children, I ... how shall I put it? GOT OVER IT. And the next morning, I woke up with a fire in my belly about writing, and a keen awareness that the only thing standing in the way of my happy skip off into the sunsets of Bestselling Authorland was my own two hands. If I'd put them to good use, a skipping I would go. I sat down on my couch and got to work on the outline for the novel. And I finished it! And then, later that day, I wrote 2500 words toward the first draft, and made an accountability agreement with a dear friend to write 2000 words every day (except on the weekends, when I will write 500 words a day).
Something has changed. I have read about other authors saying how the characters come to life and the novel pulls at you, begging, even insisting that you write it. It nearly writes itself. This is how it feels! I never thought I would feel that way, but I also never felt like I would be able to relate to runners who say that after a certain point, they feel like they could run forever. HAH! I've felt that, too!
Can I say it? I AM A WRITER! Now on to finishing this draft and getting it into the hands of a publisher, so I can finally realize my destiny of becoming a BESTSELLING AUTHOR!
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