Dumping Ground Stuff - by Robin Gorman Newman

I'm feeling a bit like a dumping ground this week, and it's both unsettling and empowering.

Unsettling because it felt draining. Empowering because if I can learn how to handle it, I'll cultivate an inner strength that I can put to good use.

Various people in my life shared their thoughts and negative energy with me, without my inviting it (or did I, unconsciously?). Hmmmm....

These are not women I'm particularly close with, but people who reached out to me to for a shoulder to lean on. On one hand, I try to be there for someone, but I find that I walk a fine line between offering support and being dragged down and depleted myself.

It was interesting because a close girlfriend of mine emailed me that she was annoyed at herself. She wanted to take the day off from work because she was sick, but instead made herself go to the office so she could be there for a client in need. You can probably guess what happened. The client didn't show up, and my friend was left kicking herself for not putting her own needs first. She swore she would never do that again.

Why is this so hard to do sometimes? To put ourselves first. And, be true to our inner voice that is screaming...."don't go there!" Is it that as women (not to exclude men) we do so much and feel the need to be there as caretaker for as many people as possible? And, where do you stop? The universe?

No wonder many of us, myself included, are just plain tired. It catches up with you emotionally and physically after continual practice.

So, how to change?

Well, I for one, want to better protect myself. I'm glad to listen to someone but not if they're constantly a taker. I'm not therapist to the world. It's not a role I've chosen to play. Maybe because I'm willing to give someone my ear, I can get taken advantage of. And, that leaves me feeling cold and exposed. I gave of myself, and was it truly appreciated?! I shouldn't be asking that question, should I? If I'm wondering, then why do it?! Right?

I'm going to work on letting people know that they're sharing too much information, or that I'm not in a position to comment...or however I feel I can most delicately handle a situation. No doubt, if they're sharing with me, they're sharing with others too. And, if I'm not in their close circle, then I become a third party objective voice. I understand that this can be beneficial, but not ultimately to me.

What do you do when you find someone is gravitating toward you and looks to you for advice, support, etc. and it's not someone you truly want to have in your life that way?

Whew! That's all a load off my mind....thanks for letting me share with you.