You Can Get Beyond the Stuff

Let me begin by introducing myself. I am a native New Yorker, living on Long Island (though I'm from Queens), and I'm a 40 something mom to a five year old boy who I adore. I'm the author of How to Meet a Mensch in NY and How to Marry a Mensch (decent person), and as such, I married my Mr. Right Mensch 15 years ago, and now offer strategic socializing advice to those aspiring to do the same.

I am also the founder of Motherhood Later...Than Sooner, the only on and offline resource/community in the U.S. for those parenting later in life. I became a mom at 42, and I feel like a poster child for the sandwich generation, with a Kindergarten student and senior dad (I lost my mom 10 years ago). Being a caretaker has its own challenges.

I love to connect and inspire people, whether single, "later" moms, enterprising women (I also launched a non profit networking group for women in NY), etc. I am happiest when I am giving back, and I don't mean monetarily. But, rather by offering support that cannot be measured. I pride myself on really being there for my friends, family, clients, readers, and hope to now share with you....the Beyond the Stuff community.

I am thrilled, and feel very priviledged, to be a Beyond the Stuff gal. My counterparts in this blog and overall venture, are such unique powerhouses in so many ways. We are connected and share certain life experiences and vision. Yet, we each have a distinctive voice with our own journeys to tell. We hope you will tune in, and share with us what is happening in your life.

As for me right now, I returned earlier this week from Canyon Ranch in Tucson. I was invited to speak there re: my books, and I stayed on a bit to vacation. Let me just say (and they're not paying me to endorse them), that Canyon Ranch is a really special experience. I actually found it life-altering on more levels than I anticipated. And, this leads me to the notion of Beyond the Stuff.

We all have it. What is it? The "stuff" we collect. The "stuff" we tell ourselves, whether true or not. The "stuff" others say. I could go on 'n on. You know what I mean.

Spending some alone time (I went by myself) at a place like Canyon Ranch, opened up an emotional well for me. Here I was with a rare opportunity to chill solo, and I'm crying on more than one occasion. This visit touched a nerve...a BIG one. I went with the intent on working on some specific things, i.e. weight loss, and my back (I have minor scoliosis), and I emerged feeling that I do have the ability to take some control. I have gained weight since becoming a mom (though my son is adopted), and I now have greater portion/calorie and cardio exercise understanding so I can get to work seriously on the extra pounds. I also learned a way of exercising my back daily (McKenzie Technique) that can give me some relief.

I connected with some cool women who made me feel welcome. It was a bit of a challenge for me to be traveling alone, but I didn't have any friends who could accompany me at this time, and my husband isn't a spa fan. Once there, I proved I was able to handle it, and because I was alone, it led me to reach out to others more than I might have, and I'm glad for those I met in the process. I was out of my comfort zone for the better.

I've never been a fan of exercise classes, but I took them, and proved that they can be fun and I don't need to compare myself to other fitness buffs in the class. I've learned that just because someone looks great on the outside, doesn't mean they are content inside. During one particular workshop at Canyon Ranch, a self-confessed athlete shared her story of being raised in a family of high athletic achievers, and how it comes naturally to all of them, and how she's never had a weight problem. I listened in awe...what is that like? I wondered. But, then, she went on to say how a year ago she actually lost 13lbs off her already very petite, tight, trim frame, because she wanted to disappear. Wow! Who would have thought looking at her that she didn't have high self esteem.

In general, my mind was opened, and I feel like it has hopefully helped me get on the path to some empowering life change and beliefs.

Getting Beyong the Stuff is so critical, so we can embrace and enjoy our time. We all deserve that. Daily routines so easily take over, and stagnation can set in. So much in life we talk ourselves into, but we can rise above.

So, step out of your comfort zone. Spend some quiet alone time....even if brief. Try new things. Believe in yourself. Embrace others (they may need it more than you know). And, tell us about it.

Have you had any life altering travel experiences that led to greater understanding and happiness for you? Do you have "stuff" you want to rid yourself of? Would love to hear your stories.

The Universe Is Abundance In Motion!

As I opened my eyes today I woke from a most wonderful dream! I’d just been talking on my new Radio Show, ‘Beyond the Stuff’ with my four new BFF’s (Best Friends Forever!) where we’d been sharing true life experiences, and you know… helping people! And as I was smiling at my good fortune to be able to share some of my inner light with the world, while nestled in my bed, the thought…

"And Visions of Sugarplums Danced in My Head"…

came to mind and I smiled even bigger! (Is that possible? Kelly Brown smiling BIGGER?) :-)

As I was coming to full awareness from sleep and thinking about all this, it occurred to me just how blessed I’ve been since moving into my new home and I was filled with so much gratitude and appreciation---and even so, I remembered that’s not what makes me so happy about life.

What makes me so incredibly happy and joyous about life takes place every time I venture outside my house! (Regardless of the news, or the economy, or the housing market, or the upcoming election or whatever most people are now focusing on…) When I take the time to go outside and stop for a moment to remember… I’m instantly reminded that everything in the universe is exactly as it is supposed to be. In fact,

The Universe Is Absolute Abundance in Motion!

Yes, the Universe shows its Absolute Abundance EVERYWHERE you look (when you're really looking that is…). Trees sprout and grow into giants, rain falls to water them, sun shines to help them along, acorns and nuts grow, squirrels gather, feast and then store some for winter, butterflies flutter and feed on every beautiful flower in my backyard with a grace that captures my soul, birds soar and find food with ease…

And all of this reminds me again of who I really am… where I really live… what’s really important and the euphoric joy of being alive begins another new day.

As I go from task to task throughout my day, I find I’m constantly renewed and fascinated by the world I live in, and things that tempt to distract me from my understanding of this Absolute Abundance of Life are just shadows and stories I and others tell ourselves…

So for today, maybe take your lunch outside… maybe just take a 5 minute break to head out where you can experience life’s TRUE abundant nature and breathe… I promise you will feel sooooo good when you do!

Take a moment and notice how all of life works together so perfectly with no help from any of us. Stop listening to or thinking about all the ‘stuff’ in your ‘material world’ and just notice the abundance of life all around you…

Visions of Sugarplums Will Indeed Dance in Your Head… there’ll be a new spring in your step and you’ll wonder how you ever forgot the true abundant nature of the universe and who you really are…

Loving the Journey!

Kelly K. Brown

Unloading the Stuff!

Like many Americans, my jobs have been dramatically cut back this fall. I heard it time and time again, that the jobs have been cancelled and my services were not required. I noticed it slowly started happening this summer and saw the writing on the wall, even with outstanding contracts that were in place, companies were slowing down and stopping all of the spending. As an entrepreneur, I’ve had to now readjust my living and what that means is that we’re cutting back.

Out with the new cars, and I’m cutting back on all sorts of services that we just don’t need. At first, it was stressful to go through the bills and expenses to determine which ones I needed and which ones I didn’t. Now, it feels fresh and free. I’m starting to look at the tons of decorations in my home and wanting to collect things and put them all in a bag and send them to the Good Will. That’s exactly what I’m going to do too. I understand now that I was living with all of these things to make my life pretty or feel good, when in reality it was a lot of stuff to keep up with.

My husband and I have even decided that we are going to refinance the house and then sell if we can. We know we’re going to take a loss, but we also don’t want to be living with financial stress, so we’re of the mindset that we can and will rebuild, but from a much better place. A much more simple place!

All of this cutting back sincerely is exciting. I’ve realized that in living with a chronic disability like we have for many years that there is absolutely nothing in the world more important than our health and our peace of mind. We haven’t had much peace of mind lately until we decided to get rid of all of the “stuff” that drains our accounts and is supposed to really make us feel good, which it’s not.. its actually doing the opposite.

I feel light and uplifted now, and feel like the world is my oyster! I wonder if I want to find another place to live that will give my son more space to run around, and more kids to play with? I’m even thinking that we could move for a year or two to another location in the country, to somewhere small where the people are important to each other and not their things. It’s a fascinating concept to consider, and it’s exciting to think that we literally could just pick up and go if we found a place that we could feel our son would enjoy. He’s so independent that he can and does adjust to any kids any where. As long as he’s swimming and running and able to spend time outdoors, he’s happy as a clam. And the older I get, I’m reverting back to my childhood and those are the only things I really want as well!

I am craving the simple life and one without the stress of keeping up with the Jones’ and having to lead a life that is worthy of other people’s expectations. I just want to enjoy what I do, and enjoy my family and enjoy my friends. I don’t want to have to keep up with all of the gadgets we own, and do maintenance on everything, and always work on the house and the yard and.. whew.. I know if I go down that path, I’ll become exhausted. But trust me, I have as many material trappings as the rest of this modern world, and I just plain don’t want to keep them anymore.

I still desire to be successful, and my TV show is now underway and I truly believe that this will help so many people. This will be an answer to so many organizations…. It’s my passion and my cause, and I’m excited to continue down this path.

I know I’m blazing a trial that many, many others will be on soon. I’ll report in and let you know how things are going!

To our life.. living beyond the stuff!

How Beyond The Stuff Got Started

It’s amazing, that a few weeks ago, I was talking to my husband that I was really ready to be working with friends. I’ve been working in coaching and training and Television for a very long time and while I love these things, I come and go out of peoples’ lives all of the time. I end up having a great time with people but then I’m gone and don’t see them again for a month or even 6 months.

So I was really longing to have a connection with a group of women who I could be 100% authentic with and be expressive and fun and rowdy or whatever mood hit at the time. Basically, I wanted a group of women to work with where I could have a great time and to learn and grow and to grow a business.

I had no idea that when I put that dream or wish out there how quickly it would develop.. and how exciting it would be.

I had been interviewed about two weeks ago for a website called www.motherhoodlater.com. In the interview, it came at a time where I was very uncertain about my next step. I’ve loved my TV tours that I do, and my lifestyle reporting, but I needed something a bit more full time and profitable. So, I started interviewing for jobs and went to a recruiter to get a full time sales job. I was ready to give up my life as I know it to go and work for a company where I could work and live a comfortable life here in Winter Park.

Little did I know what was in store!

In the interview I was completely open about where I was in my life and unsure of the next step. The founder of the social networking site, Robin Gorman Newman in NYC shared with me that she had recently felt the same way so we said we should do something together and how about a radio show? So, I loved the idea and jumped on it. The next day, I was talking with my good friend Liimu McGill in Philly, and she was sharing some great wisdom with me like she does and I said to her, “Liimu, you should have a radio show!” And she said immediately, “I'D LOVE A RADIO SHOW” and so I told her, “well, Robin and I are doing one.. and I think you’d be a great addition”!!! When I introduced the concept to Robin, she was gracious and excited. Now there were three.

Then, my friend Leslies’ name came coming to me over and over and over. So I called my friend Leslie Evans-Thorne, and told her, “Leslie, I don’t have time to talk, but your name has been coming to me over and over and over and so I want to tell you that my friends Robin, Liimu and I are going to do a radio show and are you in? Leslie responded, “yes, I’m in.. and have been wondering what my next step would be!” The group was now up to four!


The next day I was having lunch with two good friends Kelly Brown and Bruce Fagan. As I sat there and listened to the wise and wonderful Kelly, I said to her, “Kelly, I have created a radio show with four other women and it would not be complete unless you were a part of it. Are you interested?” Of course she said yes, and then Bruce, my dear friend who loves to be in the thick of everything exciting said he wanted in too! So there it was.. we had a group that was all like minded, open, 100% authentic, real, fun, engaging, and who had all been through numerous challenges and were still surviving in a manner that was uplifting to others.

The group was all introduced via emails and finally met this week on the phone. The initial meeting was nothing short of wonderful and entertaining and incredible and everyone felt the same. We all believe that this group is special and magical and I definitely believe that it has had a divine beginning! Seriously.. it came together so quickly and so naturally and it was almost supernaturally. And the personalities are so strong and it all flowed so nicely.

So that’s one of the great things I’ve learned. That when you’re tired of trying on your own, and you can’t quite get it all working right, to surrender your intentions to God, and let Him take a turn at running your life. I’ve had numerous conversations with Liimu about this, and surrendering is the hardest thing a person will ever do, but after you do, you find out that it is a much better, more peaceful way to live.

I’ll keep you all updated on the progress of the show. We’ll be looking for sponsors and for a network. It’s a special group, so we hope to find a home that will be of the most benefit to the most amount of people, because we know that millions of people need to hear the positive message that this group has to share.

Onward and upward!!!

We're Online

Hi guys --

Here is our "new" blog on our site -- changes, deletions? You can add comments to this first blog entry and we can see how the functionality works.

Let me know what you think -- I've added everyone on as a contributor. We can add all sorts of stuff. I thought I'd put the basic blog out there -- and maybe Sway can refine? Thanks...this is fun! And, easy. -Leslie

PS. We can add video, logo, subscriptions to blog feeds, all sorts of stuff.