You Can Get Beyond the Stuff

Let me begin by introducing myself. I am a native New Yorker, living on Long Island (though I'm from Queens), and I'm a 40 something mom to a five year old boy who I adore. I'm the author of How to Meet a Mensch in NY and How to Marry a Mensch (decent person), and as such, I married my Mr. Right Mensch 15 years ago, and now offer strategic socializing advice to those aspiring to do the same.

I am also the founder of Motherhood Later...Than Sooner, the only on and offline resource/community in the U.S. for those parenting later in life. I became a mom at 42, and I feel like a poster child for the sandwich generation, with a Kindergarten student and senior dad (I lost my mom 10 years ago). Being a caretaker has its own challenges.

I love to connect and inspire people, whether single, "later" moms, enterprising women (I also launched a non profit networking group for women in NY), etc. I am happiest when I am giving back, and I don't mean monetarily. But, rather by offering support that cannot be measured. I pride myself on really being there for my friends, family, clients, readers, and hope to now share with you....the Beyond the Stuff community.

I am thrilled, and feel very priviledged, to be a Beyond the Stuff gal. My counterparts in this blog and overall venture, are such unique powerhouses in so many ways. We are connected and share certain life experiences and vision. Yet, we each have a distinctive voice with our own journeys to tell. We hope you will tune in, and share with us what is happening in your life.

As for me right now, I returned earlier this week from Canyon Ranch in Tucson. I was invited to speak there re: my books, and I stayed on a bit to vacation. Let me just say (and they're not paying me to endorse them), that Canyon Ranch is a really special experience. I actually found it life-altering on more levels than I anticipated. And, this leads me to the notion of Beyond the Stuff.

We all have it. What is it? The "stuff" we collect. The "stuff" we tell ourselves, whether true or not. The "stuff" others say. I could go on 'n on. You know what I mean.

Spending some alone time (I went by myself) at a place like Canyon Ranch, opened up an emotional well for me. Here I was with a rare opportunity to chill solo, and I'm crying on more than one occasion. This visit touched a nerve...a BIG one. I went with the intent on working on some specific things, i.e. weight loss, and my back (I have minor scoliosis), and I emerged feeling that I do have the ability to take some control. I have gained weight since becoming a mom (though my son is adopted), and I now have greater portion/calorie and cardio exercise understanding so I can get to work seriously on the extra pounds. I also learned a way of exercising my back daily (McKenzie Technique) that can give me some relief.

I connected with some cool women who made me feel welcome. It was a bit of a challenge for me to be traveling alone, but I didn't have any friends who could accompany me at this time, and my husband isn't a spa fan. Once there, I proved I was able to handle it, and because I was alone, it led me to reach out to others more than I might have, and I'm glad for those I met in the process. I was out of my comfort zone for the better.

I've never been a fan of exercise classes, but I took them, and proved that they can be fun and I don't need to compare myself to other fitness buffs in the class. I've learned that just because someone looks great on the outside, doesn't mean they are content inside. During one particular workshop at Canyon Ranch, a self-confessed athlete shared her story of being raised in a family of high athletic achievers, and how it comes naturally to all of them, and how she's never had a weight problem. I listened in awe...what is that like? I wondered. But, then, she went on to say how a year ago she actually lost 13lbs off her already very petite, tight, trim frame, because she wanted to disappear. Wow! Who would have thought looking at her that she didn't have high self esteem.

In general, my mind was opened, and I feel like it has hopefully helped me get on the path to some empowering life change and beliefs.

Getting Beyong the Stuff is so critical, so we can embrace and enjoy our time. We all deserve that. Daily routines so easily take over, and stagnation can set in. So much in life we talk ourselves into, but we can rise above.

So, step out of your comfort zone. Spend some quiet alone time....even if brief. Try new things. Believe in yourself. Embrace others (they may need it more than you know). And, tell us about it.

Have you had any life altering travel experiences that led to greater understanding and happiness for you? Do you have "stuff" you want to rid yourself of? Would love to hear your stories.