Clearing away the Stuff to Get to my Heart by Mary

Today a dear sweet friend is full of grief.

A week ago I went to her home and she pulled out a baby book. I screamed for her, and we talked about her upcoming “miracle” of being pregnant. She has an older child but never was able to get pregnant again, and although she’s completely healthy and young, she wasn’t able to conceive.

Today, she texted me and told me she had a tubal pregnancy and they were taking her baby.

At the store, I found a peace plant, and found the perfect card at home that said, “May God bring you peace in this time of “sorrow”. I brought it over to her home, and when her husband answered the door, I gave it to him and the tears started. I told him they would be in my prayers and he thanked me in his sweet and soft spoken way. I could tell he was sad, and he shared with me that my friend wasn’t doing well.

I came home and cried. I cried for her and for the dream that was now gone for them. I cried because just yesterday she was so happy about the baby and for how their lives would change. And I cried for me… because I once had the same dreams of having more children, but that wasn’t meant to be. I believe God gives us what we can handle, and He must have known that me, not being overly domestic, and that he was giving me a very special child that I would need all sorts of time to learn about him and his special needs, decided to give me just one.

But still, I cried.

So, I decided to get still. I went to my room and got out my journal. I recorded things like what’s been going on… and what I needed to do. That quickly gave me a wake up call and sense of overwhelm about what needed to be done. My brain started going into overdrive… “I have to send invoices, clean my house, cook some veggies for the week, have my tail light fixed (the neighbor’s little girl accidently threw a rock and broke it recently!)

The list didn’t stop! I need to call several friends who need information about Orlando or Winter Park for moving here, and I need to get my mailing list and postcard ready to go out next week… etc.. So I asked my self a simple question:

“What does my heart want?”

That brought me still again! I searched and searched for the answer. I let my mind wander and considered the people who were important to me. I thought of all of their needs, and all of their struggles at the present. My son has a stiff neck, my husband has new work associates, my sister has so many projects, another dear friend has several issues at home, my parents are still concerned about their kids.. and so on and so on. Everyone has something. And how could I be a good friend to these people? This what was on my heart. I realized that all that matters…. Is love.

So, I prayed for them. I realize that they’re my priorities.. those closest to me… that my job here on earth first .. is to love those in my life. And also.. to love myself. It’s the golden rule… “love your neighbor as yourself”. It did bring me comfort.. and it simplified my life today.

I know that I can only do what I can do.. to love my family and myself… so I’m starting with my home.. and doing what NEEDS to be done there.. and then I’ll make my business my priority.. and get done what NEEDS to get done. Everything else will have to wait.

What about you? Do you ever have the sense of overwhelm? Do you look at your desk and realize you absolutely can not get it all done… no matter what? Do you listen to the needs of your kids.. and your spouse and those at work who are calling for your time and attention?

We all have too much on our plate these days.. yet we all only have a limited amount of time. We have to consider what is the best use of our time, and sub the other stuff out to those who are better at it than we are.

Try going to your heart.. and finding the answer.. It will prove to give you the right answer.. every time!

Update...
I wrote this yesterday.. and the rest of the day I was so incredibly quiet.. and spent the day cooking and cleaning and with my son.. teaching him how to juice and shred cabbage, etc. I had candles all throughout the house and had classical music playing all afternoon. We never once turned on the TV and we just spent time together enjoying one another. I didn't talk on the phone all day, and just worked by email. I needed the quiet.. and it really was exactly what my soul needed so today I felt refreshed and back in the saddle.

Sometimes, all we need.. is to be quiet.... and to accept and to cherish it as a gift.