Me at the Seattle Space Needle on My Own Path to Freedom!This week started with me living what could have been seen, felt and experienced by me as a ‘painful’ experience. And yet, because I CHOSE to stay ‘present in the very moment’ of the circumstance, I handled the experience in the most effective way possible---by only seeing everyone involved through the eyes of love---a way of living I’ve been practicing as a part of my ‘in the moment’ existence for over a year!
You can imagine how interesting it then was to me, when this exact same topic came up again and again throughout my week.
People, loved ones, friends… many were experiencing feelings, thoughts and the emotion of ‘pain’ about current life events… and in chatting sometimes they experienced it about past events. Past or present, all pain can be avoided by remembering and implementing the practice of one simple action.
Choosing to stay ‘present in the moment’. (Staying ‘present in the moment’ always brings FREEDOM when we choose it!)
Having sufferered the pain of what I call ‘going around the mountain’ again and again over a particular situation or what another person, does, says, did or didn’t do, should have done or I expected them to do---Always, always equals PAIN FOR ME (AND YOU!)
This topic can ‘appear’ complex, so let me explain more carefully.
When we are NOT choosing to live ‘in the moment’, and when things then don’t go OUR way, “You know, the way we think things should go”, or when people don’t behave the way WE think is right or they SHOULD… we experience PAIN!
It is in THAT moment when our thoughts begin to tell us made up stories with the attached history of old experiences, old programming and old emotions… we LOSE our freedom and begin creating personal PAIN. Yes, WE create our own pain---the other person has nothing to do with it whatsoever. (You may want to re-read that last line, as for some this concept could be difficult to understand at first.)
We tell ourselves (and truly want to believe) that all our angst and upset is about another, their actions, or a certain circumstance, but the TRUTH is that it is OUR CHOICE of thoughts in this moment, OUR disappointment about an unmet expectation and our anger that things SHOULDN’T be this way that brings us into immediate pain.
It is an interesting experience to feel how in ONE moment we can change our thoughts AND then instantly and literally FEEL better. We can experience unbelievable freedom when we wisely monitor and choose our thoughts and begin focusing on what we now WANT, instead of what we didn’t like about what just happened or occurred!
When living ‘present in the moment’ I'm able to tell myself NO STORY whatsoever about what is happening.
To put it in plain terms, I DEPERSONALIZE every happening to an understanding of the situation or circumstance as being just a thing ‘that is!’.
No one is wrong
No one is right
No one is at fault… No Story! A happening just occurred---That’s it!
This is TRUTH: Regardless of what the other is thinking, not thinking or how they feel, what their inner perspective is or was, what story they are telling in their mind… it is theirs! It is NOT about us; in fact, we can never really know what another person is thinking anyway (even though we often believe and state that we do).
By living in a state of allowing through conscious awareness, we can surrender to the situation at hand. (Read: I can choose to accept the situation just as it is.)
The gift of awareness is that in the moment we are aware, we can CHOOSE not to tell ourselves a story of inner thoughts from OLD, OUTDATED life experiences. In this moment, what is happening is what is happening NOW and has nothing to do with anything anyone ever said or ever did in the past. (That would be adding in a STORY).
And this is where a common struggle comes in… when we are not living in conscious awareness, when someone doesn’t behave as we think they SHOULD, our thoughts start telling us OLD stories as if they were the ‘present moment TRUTH. Thoughts like:
I can’t believe they did THAT to me! Why didn’t I see this coming?
I should have known better than to trust them, they always…
This is what I get for being such a nice gal/guy.
They did that on purpose just to hurt me---just like everyone else does...
I knew this would happen, this is what ALWAYS happens to me
They make me so angry, they should have... (or shouldn't have...)
Blah, Blah, Blah…
Law of Attraction is extraordinarily fair! It attracts more of what you focus on, so in this example by focusing and thinking ALL those negative thoughts… you get MORE negative thoughts… and you wake up 5 hours later to realize you’ve been obsessing about this for FIVE STRAIGHT HOURS! Wasting your very life with FIVE hours of unproductive, pain-inducing, negative thinking… and worse, these type of thoughts never serve you or the greater good (nothing productive can come from these type of thoughts), they just bring pain in the form of hurt feelings, anger, frustration, irritation and more. (And when not careful… these thoughts can become rather addictive… think like a jilted lover for a sec---one can truly become obsessed in the mire of negative thinking.)
This is where a true understanding of life can create some fun however. If you can stay present in the moment, and CHOOSE NOT to tell any stories in your thoughts, you will find you have chosen to become the OBSERVER of your thoughts.
In that moment, you have just realized the very truth of life that most people never, ever get! YOU are the ‘thinker of your thoughts’, you are NOT your thoughts! That means YOU get to control what you think---you do have a choice! So, you might choose to entertain better feeling thoughts like:
What is IS what is.
This is not exactly what I was expecting.
I have no idea why they behaved this way or why this happened.
I will tell myself no ‘old, habitual, programmed thoughts’ on this topic.
I choose to believe this is about where they are in their life, and not about me.
Maybe they were scared, or worried, or under stress: who knows?
This isn’t about me—people act the way they do for their very OWN reasons.
It could be anything really. I can’t know what they were thinking.
I’ll probably never know so I won’t waste my present moment time:
1) worrying about what the reason was or wasn’t
2) being upset or anguishing through all the negative possibilities, or
3) finding ways to make me right and them wrong so I can feel better in this situation
4) figuring out ways and endless points of view to place blame on them.
Instead, I can choose to:
Live this experience exactly as it is with NO expectation of a different, better or worse outcome, or a ‘how it should have been’ because that time is NOW gone and in the past and it cannot be re-lived, so why would I try to re-live it over and over and over again in the thoughts of my mind? Now is all we’ve got, and we can CHOOSE our thoughts and focus in this NOW moment… and the next, and the next, etc.
We can then start thinking thoughts like:
1) I will choose to love myself and this other person exactly as we are with no judgment toward either of us in this situation. I can choose be the ‘observer’ of my thoughts, and just see what can be learned from this current situation.
2) I will accept that ‘what is IS what is', and then immediately make the choice to now focus ONLY on what I want to have, be, create or experience in my life.
3) I will focus and envision all my future interactions with this other person going exactly the way I’d like with love and joy for all involved.
What you focus on expands and you WILL begin to attract and then experience brand new and much better outcomes as soon as you fill your mind with brand new thoughts, dreams, ideas and feelings of what you now want.
That’s how you do it… Every single time, in every single circumstance, in every life experience!
1) Get and/or stay present in the moment.
2) See what is, and accept that what is IS what is.
3) Note the contrast WITHOUT adding any STORY---no story, no emotion, no personalizing, no old programming thoughts.
4) Begin immediately to ask for and focus on what you NOW want to see in this situation or situations like it.
5) Continue! Focus on those good ideas until you think of something else you want, and then focus on that!
Sounds difficult… and I assure you practice will make it easier and easier and easier--- the more you stay present in the moment and are aware of your thoughts, the easier it gets! And best of all, the REWARD for all your practice is the Path of Freedom: PEACE, JOY, HAPPINESS and EXTRAORDINARY LOVE FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
Choose YOUR Path of Freedom today. Start simply by just becoming aware of your thoughts. Listen to what your thoughts are! As time goes on, become the Observer! Start to notice your positive and negative thoughts and begin to choose only the positive thoughts you now want to think and focus on. From there, it’s nothing more than practice… and we are always practicing something aren’t we?
To YOUR Path of Freedom!
Kelly
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