When Stuff is in Sync by Mary

This is a really special week. I keep being amazed (ok, I really wanted to say I keep freaking out!) over how linked it appears my life is flowing right now. I shouldn’t be surprised. I have prayed for miracles and little by little, day by day, they seem to appear out of no where. For starters, our best friends G. and M. from NYC swapped houses with a family in Florida. They found a great one, in Pensacola Beach FL and they invited us to come for the week. We were excited to spend time with them, and so was Jeremy! My college roomie, Donna, her husband Steve, live here with their two kids and they’re newly adopted “cousins” of my son. He considers them like his brother and sister and we’ve made a commitment to see them as much as possible through the years because the kids get along so well. So when we discovered that the swapped house was less than a mile from Donna and Steve’s. And not only that, the couple was a friend of Donna’s! Then, my NYC friends convinced the owners to let them use their luxury condo on the beach instead. So when we got here, we had already spent loads of time here last summer while at surf camp! So, the whole thing was familiar to my son and me. Then we met some of the neighbors. They were former good friends and neighbors of Donna’s and Steve’s. Then at the pool we met a gal from Indiana . As it turned out, her husband and his employee who was coming to stay worked in Mississippi on similar projects. So many cross over’s. Then, other things were happening! Our closest friends J and E from Winter Park happened to plan a trip to Pensacola too. And after talking further we found out that not only did E. go to Auburn a few years ahead of Donna and me, but he went to Donna’s high school in Birmingham! Then, several work things started happening. My friend M. from NYC shared some work contracts with me that I needed to find and she just happened to be working on the same thing at the same time I was. Then she suggested I take a class in a particular area, and I happened to get an email from a friend in Orlando who told me she was not available for a networking event I invited her to because she was teaching a class. Yep! The one I needed to take! I just keep watching these little synchronicities unfold and am amazed at how it all seems to fit so seamlessly. Things that we need, from special conversations with loved ones to new clients calling, keep popping up, and when I pray for something else, it seems to appear. It must mean that our life is in sync at the moment. My family is at rest with people that we love and who love us, and there is such a great feeling of contentment in the air. It’s such a welcome thing after such a difficult year that we’re leaving behind.
I’m now believing that seamless way of living will continue, and that I can have the faith that whatever we need as a family will manifest whether it be love, friends, or a tangible such as finances.

So as we go into the New Year, I welcome a simple way of life and hope and pray that we can be satisfied with whatever comes our way as we pursue our goals in our family and our businesses. And not only be satisfied, but truly know that that is exactly how things are supposed to be.

Because being in sync is truly a wonderful way to live.

Who am I? - by Liimu

I am in Orlando this week, enjoying some sunshine with my two eldest daughters and one of my oldest and dearest friends. I am also working my tushy off, trying to wrap up some projects that are ending soon, and trying to make sure I solidify work beginning in 2009. I'm also blogging like a good little Do-Bee, because my day is Monday and I don't want to let the group down. (Let's not even talk about the 8,000 e-mails that the BTS gals have been circulating around about logos, t-shirts, radio shows, talk shows, agents, and all the other amazing STUFF that the Universe has swirling around us as we get this project off the ground. Needless to say, I have NOT been on top of responding to those.)

As I struggle to stay on top of all that stuff, I'm also struggling to stay on top of all the other stuff that embodies who I am. I'm a recovering alcoholic - will I be able to get to a meeting? I have body image stuff, will I be able to get to the gym every day? (I did get there today...of course, then I had 3 pieces of pizza, but who's counting?) And of course, I'm a mom. Will I be able to get all the things in that my kids want? The mini golf? (Yes.) The swan paddle boats? (No.) The pool? (Yes.) Cafe Mickey? (Not without reservations 3 months in advance, thankyouverymuch.)

So, do I have to decide who I am? Do I have to pick the top three pieces of me to prioritize and just hang up the rest for the next vacation or for when it's all over? Or, do I continue to try my best to meet all the needs of the various areas of my life? For today, I'm okay with not doing everything perfectly, but trying to do the best I can in all areas.

Just for today, my clients are still my clients.
Just for today, my kids still love me and I still fit into size 12 jeans.
Just for today, a hot bath and a cup of sleepytime tea is still a better solution for my stress than a vodka gimlet.

I guess that will have to do...just for today.

Silent "Night" Stuff (& New Year's) - by Robin

Friends are asking me this week, what are you doing for New Year's Eve?

I don't celebrate Christmas, and we're already in the throes of Hanukkah.

So, next up is the coming of 2009. (Wow...time goes fast!)

When I was single, I typically felt compelled to have plans. And, they were the type of plans that promoted socializing. Since my hope to was to one day get married (which I did), then staying home wasn't high on the list I allowed myself to have.

I recall one year, in particular, where all I wanted to do was stay home and relax, but I forced myself to go to a party with a friend, and it turned out to be a total bust. I was later mad at myself for not granting myself permission to chill and practice self care.

Another year, I recall going to see THE COLOR PURPLE in the movie theatre with my folks. (My mom has since passed away.) And, I was so totally moved by it and adored Whoopi Goldberg. It was such a cool film to see on New Year's Eve, and to this day, the memory of it sticks with me.

Not just did I love the film, and spending quality time with my parents, but I allowed myself to be true to what was calling out to me. Rather than hustle to go to a random party or singles event, I enjoyed the moment and gave into what I most wanted to do. And, that made it special.

It's so easy to get swayed by others and even our own thoughts. I am great at telling myself what I SHOULD be doing vs. listening to my inner voice that might have others plans that ultimately will have more meaning in the grand scheme of life. Does that mean I might have to live in the gray a bit? Sure. We can't always get things figured out or laid out for us in an orderly fashion when we want it.

That said, I sit in my home office, as I write this blog, wondering what the new year has in store. I look out my window onto the snowy streets of New York and realize that from day to day things change. Just a few days ago, there was no snow, and now things are white...beautiful...yet messy.

Life isn't always clean. And, we're in a constant state of flux. Accepting that can be liberating and exciting because cool things can be around the corner.

This year, I refuse to make resolutions. That puts too much pressure on me, and I need less stress in my life. But, I would like to put forth some positive thoughts and aspirations.

Mostly, I want to be happy and healthy. And, I wish the same for those I love...and for you.

I'd like to have less fear.

I'd like to surrender to the universe more and have the faith that good will come.

I'd like to believe that I have more strength than I acknowledge.

I'd like to trust that I am a good mom, friend, spouse, daughter, etc.

I'd like to continue to connect with those who can support and share, without judgment.

This is what comes to mind for now.

I don't think it's a lot to ask, because I know much of it is already within me if I can tune in to my inner wisdom.

I wish for you that you cultivate the power this coming year, if you don't already, to listen to what really calls out to you. And, you will hear it mostly loudly and clearly the more quiet you get. So, I wish you "silence" in 2009. You deserve it. G-d bless.

My Grown-Up Christmas List! by Kelly

I’ve celebrated many Christmas Seasons over the years and have always enjoyed the celebrations, the festivities, the shopping, the baking, the beautiful packages and lights… ahhhhhh what a festive and joyful time of year!

Most of those years, like many people, I was ‘hoping for this’ and/or ‘wishing for that'---always having a list of things I’d like to receive.

Few people in my ‘current’ world know that for many years, I also sang solos in Church… and one of the songs I sang (that touched my heart then and even more deeply today) is again my list of What I’d Like For Christmas this year!

I hope you enjoy the song's message as much as I do!

My Grown-Up Christmas List!
(David Foster & Linda Thompson Jenner)

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I'm all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal a hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
that wars would never start
and time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
and right would always win
and love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas List

What is this illusion called
The innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief
Can we ever find the truth

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end

This is my grown-up Christmas list
This is my ONLY Lifelong Wish
This is my grown-up Christmas list!

May your Christmas be all you hoped and a wonderful time of peace, joy, happiness and harmony in all areas of your life!

Sharing A Love That Never Ends...

Kelly

T’was the Night Before Christmas!

It’s almost time… the gifts are wrapped.. and Santa has shopped.. and the stockings are hung by the chimney with care… ready to be stuffed!!!

Tonight, at my parents house, will be most of my family getting together to celebrate the birth of the Christ Jesus. We’ll eat, drink and pray, and thank God for our health and for our time on this earth.

Among us, are stressed out parents, brothers and sisters, kids, teens, and even a fiancé who will be at the celebration. We all live very, very different lives, but for the first time this year, we’ll come together as a family and enjoy one another.

We will be at my parents house, who are deeply spiritual people, and who live such selfless and dedicated lives to their families.. more than most people I’ve ever met. My dad is not only the head of the house hold, but a spiritual giant among us, and both he and my mom will be celebrating to have their family there, celebrating the Birth of Christ.

The older I get, the more I think about Jesus being born only 2008 years ago. When we view dinosaur remains in museums that were millions of years ago, a couple of thousand doesn’t seem like such a long time ago. And the more I understand the deep importance of being a mother, the more respect I have for Jesus’ mother Mary, who gave birth they say as a young teenager, and watched her son die a tortured death at the young age of 33.

So tonight, my dad will pray a beautiful prayer to Jesus, who we recognize as God the Son, part of God the Father, and the Holy Spirit… three in one. We will thank Him for being born, and for coming into the world to give us a new direction saving us from our sins.

Then we’ll eat, and drink and open gifts, and then we’ll all go home to wait for Santa and his reindeer. Tomorrow, when we awake, Santa will have arrived, we’ll open the gifts and then we’ll go to mass, and then we’ll spend the day playing with the toys he brought!

The rush is almost done.. I have a few things to do before the 7PM arrival time… but the calm before the storm has arrived.

Blessed be to everyone on this Christmas Eve… Bless us everyone!!!

Life is... - by Liimu

I was in Target today buying some things for my newly organized home office and came across a beautiful framed picture that said something like, "Embrace the struggles, because in the struggles lie perseverance and in the perseverance lies hope."

Well, that is a very nice saying, but you know what? I'm not going to put something up on my wall about the struggles in my life. I will embrace them as they come, but I'm certainly not going to invite them in for tea and then ask them to take up permanent residence in my main living space.

Life is happening. And life is good.

I am happy. The fifth and final person in my house (my husband) just got knocked on his butt by a stomach bug, but he's lying here next to me sleeping peacefully, as are our three daughters, and since I got it first (exactly one week ago), I am pretty sure he'll be feeling much better by the morning. I had a wonderfully productive weekend this weekend - got the girls off to see Santa, finally, and took a beautiful picture of the three of them with the man of the hour. My husband even came with us, despite feeling ill, and despite the fact that the Eagles were playing tonight. I also got the Christmas shopping DONE this weekend, including the stocking stuffers.

Life is happening, and life is good.

My family has been really pulling me toward the brink of insanity, as I have come to believe the word insanity should be defined: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Without going into details, let me just tell you that I had to have a third party tell me on more than one occasion that I am running the risk of becoming dangerously codependent with my family...again. This is dangerous because my disease is a many pronged-weapon of mass destruction (albeit less mass than I was sporting three months ago...ha ha ha). So, just for today I made some tough decisions so that I could continue to grow and recover.

Life is happening, and life is good.

I got the evaluation back from an editor I hired to take a look at my first ever, full-length fiction novel. She said there were some good things about it, but the long and short of it is that I have to start over. Fortunately, I'm enrolled in a writing workshop in February that promises to give me the building blocks I need for starting a novel, not rewriting one, so that worked out perfectly. Because guess what?

Life is happening, and life is good.

I cannot complain because things continue to turn out so much better than I could have ever dreamed or hoped for. And for now, I'm falling asleep as I type this so that means I should leave it here for now. Just remember these words - life is going to happen, whether you allow it to or not. And the main influencer for how your life is going to go is you and your thoughts. So, do you want it to be a good life, or a life filled with struggles and misery? Because you can decide it will be a good life. The struggles will come, life will happen. But only you can decide if you will focus on the struggles, or the good life you have been blessed with. The choice is yours.

Accidental Stuff - by Robin

Amazing what a difference a few days can make.

Last Tuesday, my 80 something mother-in-law babysat for us for a couple of hours so we could go to a parent teacher meeting at my son's school.

Just four days later, she wound up in the emergency room of our local hospital. She had fallen in her kitchen and broke her right wrist. She is right-handed, so this was painful and awkward, to say the least. She needed surgery on Sunday, and now has a bandage tighthly woven on her arm/wrist and has to keep it in a cumbersome foam device so that the hand can be elevated...and sleep in it. And, she's already not a great sleeper, so this doesn't help.

Since she lives alone, we offered to have her come stay with us for a couple of nights.

Life is so hugely unpredictable. From one moment to the next, we don't know what is in store. The good. The bad. The challenging. The gray. Etc.

When I was driving home from the gym last night, I found myself thinking about how quickly things can happen. In a flash, my mother in law tripped over her slippers and that was that. She was kicking herself afterwards, but the damage was done.

These things happen. Accidents arise quickly.

You just never know what lies around the corner.

Life has many ups 'n downs, and largely, it's how you react to them.

I've always been someone who relishes control, even though I realize more 'n more how little of it we have. We can control decisions but not the outcomes.

If life always went completely smoothly, without any bumps or bruises along the way, then I guess we wouldn't fully appreciate the good or realize how fortunate we are. It's so easy to take things for granted, especially when it comes to your health.

As I see my mother-in-law struggle to use her left hand, it makes me all the more grateful to have the use of my arms and legs. I realize not everyone does. And, to be able to get around and function on the most simplistic level...like typing this blog post right now.

I find myself stepping carefully around my home now. I was quick to wipe up a water spill in the kitchen.

I'm going to do what I can to practice saftely in the home, and that's a good place to start.

Happy, healthy & safe holidays to you & your family. And, check out our new social networking communities for beyondthestuff on facebook.com and linked.com. Come join us there!

"More of Those Please!" by Kelly

So… the news is on, you’ve read the paper, you're hanging out with people who recently lost their job, or you know someone else who has and are talking about it… have you noticed (felt and taken the time to experience) what happens INSIDE OF YOU when you surround yourself with words, thoughts and the emotions of fear?

If you are paying attention to your thoughts, you’ll find yourself 30 minutes away from the experience or conversation and discover yourself thinking fear-filled thoughts… suddenly worrying about YOUR job, YOUR economic future, certain it means gloom and doom for you and so much more! You will notice one thought leads to another like it, and another like it, until your mind is filled with fear for YOUR future. This is the way most people allow their thoughts to be influenced everyday.

Do you find your thoughts creating these unwanted scenarios in your mind, focusing again and again on fear-filled ideas rather than purposefully focusing on what you really want in life?

Every day when I wake up, I have the opportunity to make a choice to create the life of my dreams by focusing my thoughts intentionally... and so do you. In life, we are afforded the opportunity to make choices all day, every day about WHERE to place our attention and on WHATEVER topic we choose. As each day unfolds with new experiences, people and situations occurring all around us, we again have the choice to choose HOW we want to focus on the situation at hand---thereby creating our current and future life experience.

I like to keep things simple, so I think of my life as the keeper of an incredible garden of choices (flowers) and everyday I get to pick and choose which flowers I will bring from the garden into my home (my life experience).

As I go out into the world (my garden of life), I see all types of flowers, some are blooming, some are not. Some are weeds! Some have the most sacred beautiful aroma and some; well to me they don’t smell so pretty. BUT in the end, they are all part of the garden of life, and I have the choice to accept all the flowers to be as they are.

So everyday I head out with my basket to pick flowers… “Ohhhh I love those pink ones and yes, I like that purple one… but Ack! I don’t love those yellow ones at all!” And right there, in that moment is where I get to make the most important choice of my day. I can choose to spend the rest of my day focusing on how much I wish the yellow flowers were pink, I can bemoan that my garden has icky yellow flowers that have no smell in the first place, or in fear I could even choose to RUN FROM the yellow flowers… I’m making an important point… are you getting it?

It’s such a silly, simple example and yet this is how most of us live our lives anytime something we don’t like pops up! In my own experience, (even as I continue growing and changing) I discover I find things I don’t love or like and instead of just seeing them there (yellow flowers), I attach ALL sorts of old mental stories, drama, angst and then in that vibration of thought I RUN from that which I don’t want only to find I’m now attracting MORE of it into my experience. And then later, I’m surprised to find I’m surrounded in my garden of life with an abundance of YELLOW flowers---exactly what I didn’t want.

Do you see the inherent wisdom in exercising your powerful option to purposefully 'choose your thoughts' and how that applies to ANY situation?

As the Holidays quickly approach, it is the most joyful and yet the most stressful time of year for many people. The Stuff of family, presents, expectations and “shoulds” is more prevalent now than at any other time of year. I encourage you to think of everything and everyone throughout the season as nothing more than a flower growing in the garden of life. Do your best to allow all things to be as they are, exercising your power to choose and then focus again on what you want in life. I promise, with thoughts like that, it will be your best Holiday experience… EVER!

Empower yourself today to make your own choices and focus only on what you want to create in YOUR garden of life… “Oh Yes! I love the purple and pink ones… More Of Those Please!”

Too Much Stuff to Do! - by Mary

(This is the fun stuff we should concentrate on - fun with friends..and oh... Kelly Ripa!




Can you believe it? It’s one week until Christmas Eve! And from everyone that I’m talking to, everyone has too much stuff on their plates!

Teachers gifts and parties, cookies to send to school, planning Christmas eve parties and dinners, trips out of town, parents getting sick, people stressed and having upsets with each other, presents to buy, people who are sick that we’re attending to, company parties, finding stuff to wear, holiday cards to send, and the list goes on.

No wonder my sister said she’d like to skip the festivities this year. It’s so much stress building up to a special day (or 8 days if you’re Jewish) and so many responsibilities and expectations, that everyone ends up stressed out and pooped out!

Why do we do that to ourselves? Did you know that there have been studies done where one week after Christmas, they’ve interviewed people on the street to ask what presents they got and most people can’t even remember the gifts they received? I’ve heard its true in many cases although certainly not all. And what about the food? Does it really matter if we spend hours and hours and hours in the kitchen, or if we run by Cosco and pick up some appetizers and make a pretty tray? People are still going to enjoy the food and not really care if you or a professional labored over it.

I’m like everyone else. I’ve crammed my schedule so tight for the next few days that today I almost felt like I was hyperventilating. I didn’t have time to talk with my mom or my friend who called to share some good news, and I haven’t finished up some work that one of my clients is waiting for. I’ll be working tonight, after my son is in bed, just to get all of these things done.

But just to be clear, I have tried to make things easy. I shopped at one place this year for nearly all of my gifts. It was a HUGE find – The Goodwill Boutique – which has nearly new or totally new items for sale.. that were all donated. I’ve gotten so many amazing things for family members.. all with brand new tags on them. And, regarding shopping for the teachers, I contributed to the “pot” and I’m done. I skipped numerous holiday parties so I didn’t have to get new clothes and I didn’t have to think about buying gifts as house warming gifts. I’m not doing Christmas cards, but will send New Years wishes in January instead. For food for the holiday party- I am shopping at Cosco and I’m working as much as I can while I have the time, and keeping to my work out schedule and keeping my son on schedule. Basically, I’m not going all out to make everyone happy, but I hope to connect with a few special people and hope to add to their Christmas cheer.

I’ve become very, very clear, that I just can’t do it all. But guess what? None of us can. We might do it, but what happens in the process? We stress out to the max and end up frazzled as a result. It’s not worth it to me. Today wasn’t the “feeling” space where I want to be… feeling like my heart was going to pop out of my chest, because I just couldn’t squeeze it all in.

So over the next few days, if someone cuts you off in line at the grocery store, or makes a bad move in the car, or says a sarcastic or cutting remark to you that you feel offended by, try to give that person a break. Realize that they’re under intense pressure like the rest of us, and that they’re trying to do too much stuff. If you give them the gift of just letting it go, and smiling at them and sending them some positive vibes.. you’ll be doing them and yourself and the world.. a good and uplifting thing.

Spread a little peace, enjoy those who are special to you.... and don’t try to do too much stuff!!!

This is the important stuff.... enjoy those special relationships!!!

Perfectionist Stuff - by Liimu

I'm a perfectionist. It's a well-known trait of many alcoholics and drug addicts that we have a very all-or-nothing attitude. If we can't do things perfectly, we'd rather not do them at all. When I was growing up, my sisters and brother would be patiently coming at video games or their homework or whatever again and again, patient and willing to keep trying until they figured it out. Me? If I didn't figure it out right off the bat, I would throw the Nintendo joystick at the television and stalk off in a huff. Fortunately, there were many things I picked up quickly, so I was never at a total loss for things to do.

The problem is, perfectionism doesn't work so well in real life. It's an extremely unrealistic standard to strive to achieve. Like with food and eating. I woke up this morning realizing that what I thought were menstrual cramps were actually the beginnings of a stomach virus. Well, once I realized I wasn't going to eat my regular breakfast of egg whites and oatmeal, it was off to the races. I'm either all the way in or all the way out. That's quite a bit of pressure to have on yourself all the time and it leaves me precariously teetering on the edge of "F*** it-ville" all the time. (For those of you who haven't visited F*** it-ville, consider yourselves lucky. It's quite a depressing place.)

So, here I am, back in F*** it-ville, and homesick for my normal state of self-acceptance and contentment. I'll get there. Thank goodness it only takes prayer and hard work to get there. 'Cause as good ole Dorothy said, "There's no place like home..."

The Stuff Vibes Are Made Of - by Robin

We all give off vibes whether we know it or not. I've always been aware of this, and in fact often discuss it when I'm wearing my Love Coach hat and lecturing to singles re: the need to be conscious of how you come across to the opposite sex.

But, it's not just about dating and socializing.

It's about how we live our daily lives and how we come across to others. The energy we project and the energy we invite into our lives.

This particularly came to my attention during a recent trip.

I was visiting a friend in South Carolina, and we were shopping and browsing in one particular store. She was trying on some skirts and tops, and I was sharing with her where I'm at with my career. I was questioning where I'm heading. Discussing the need to attract more monetary opportunities. Talking about some pursuits I've long had on my To Do list, wondering when and if I might get to them one day.

She was listening thoughtfully and lending me a very supportive ear.

Out of the blue, the sales girl in the store came over to me, and asked if she could ask me an "odd" question. She didn't want to make me uncomfortable, but wanted to know if it was okay if she gave me a hug.

I was pretty taken aback at the moment, but said "sure".

She said she just felt like I needed one.

I found that quite curious since she hadn't been listening to my discussion with my friend, and for the moment, I didn't get why she'd think I had that need. But, then it occurred to me that I was feeling a little sad and lost when chatting with my friend, and clearly the universe picked up that vibe. And, the sales girl readily tuned into it and reach out.

How totally sweet that was of her. It was so very touching. And, it heightened my awareness of the "stuff" that vibes are made of. Amazing how a tone of voice, body language, energy, etc. when put out there can be so easily picked up by someone wish a deep sense of awareness. And, how supportive for someone to connect with me on that level. It was truly appreciated.

So, don't hesitate to wear your "stuff" on your sleeve, because you never know when someone might give you a hug. And, the same can be said of you. The more self aware we become, the better able we are to be there for someone else in need. If we're all caught up on our own stuff, we can't really hear or feel for others. So, let it out as best you can. Find an empathetic ear. Or meditate. But, release, and invite the positive vibes to take over.

Technology STUFF by Kelly

Technology Stuff…

Are you a technological buff or is it that you simply can’t find your way around the latest iphone? (Or are you somewhere in-between?)

Technology stuff, for me, has always been a bit of ‘burden’. I LOVE what it does, how it makes my life easier and all the super cool things my life contains because of it, AND I don’t always like having to go through all the books and instructions trying figure it out. It mostly feels like work to plod my way through all the ‘details’ and mistakes I make along the way. BIG Ugh!

As you may have guessed, whenever I mention a defeating pattern of behavior I’ve become aware of in myself, I typically go searching for the origin--where this ‘type of thinking’ on this subject came from---and then also I seek answers so I can effectively change my future. And this topic of technology is no different.

What I came up with is my old nemesis—FEAR! What? Fear of Technology? Well, not exactly… it’s more like fear of what will happen when I play with technology---when I don’t know what I’m doing, when I don’t know how to fix it.

Having crashed a computer or two… or three (years ago)… and having children who downloaded things that caused a myriad of struggles in my business life when my computer no longer functioned properly---and NOT knowing how to fix it quickly and easily myself… created a space of fear about trying new things with any sort of technology.

Most recently, I’ve had a series of THREE brand new printers that for some reason unknown to me, keep failing when I really need them and all the time and energy spent replacing, re-installing them, etc. is my least favorite thing to do. I found this frustrating, irritating, and annoying because again, I didn’t know how to get things moving again quickly and easily. (And you can’t believe how I miss my fax/copier/printer when it is not functioning properly).

As you can see… I wasn’t focusing in a positive manner (which is the fastest way to change ANYTHING in life)! I wasn’t being present in the moment and accepting that what is, IS WHAT IS, until I recently made an internal shift to just be ‘okay’ with whatever was up in my ‘printer gone wrong world’, and began choosing BETTER thoughts about me, technology and how we could play better together in the future!

I decided I’d had enough of this Fear of Technology life I was experiencing based on past happenings and past programming and have now mentally named 2009 The Year Kelly Soars WITH Technology (rather than against it!)

Every day when I vision (and I do vision my future every day) how 2009 will look and feel for me, my thoughts and vision boards now always include the latest, greatest technology pieces coming to AID me in all my work and play endeavors… from the fun of wii to exciting new software and hardware of all types and sorts---all with FUN in the learning. FUN people to guide me along the way and FUN people showing up right on cue if things don’t go according to plan.

In essence, I’ve decided that for me, technology is NOT to be feared because I fear the mistakes I might make (out with that defeating pattern of thinking), it is actually an incredibly valuable tool that CAN be fun in the learning and growing phases… and from here on, I simply won’t see it any other way!

It’s funny how throughout life, we ‘think’ one thing is going on (in this case, technology mishaps)… and later, we discover it is just another way that fear and doubt are surfacing so we can see them for what they really are (thereby dismantling them) and begin again with new choices of thought and behavior that will bring us a better life!

Stay tuned as 2009 rolls around to keep me on track! If you also struggle with the fear of technology from time to time, feel free to join my journey… the more the merrier I always say!

Focus on the Stuff that Matters - by Mary

It is no secret that raising a child with special needs is a daily challenge. But a friend recently shared very, very short statement with me that made a big difference on how I handle my day. I was sharing about the issues I deal with on a daily basis and I telling him about how we have to control every single piece of the environment in our world in order to have a normal day with my son. I shared with him that the external things in my world are also very busy and demanding and sometimes I just get in a state of overwhelm. I feel so incredibly blessed to have the “BTS gals” with whom I can share these daily issues and they’re always quick to help me see the positive amidst the trials.

He told me this: “Focus on What Matters”

Wow… that was so enlightening to me at the moment! It means that I know clearly that the absolute most important thing to me is that my son has a safe and comfortable home, is eating well, and all of his needs are taken care of, and his body, mind, soul and spirit are nurtured. Because he has Sensory Processing Disorder issues, his body gets out of whack quite often and it causes a lot of disruption in our daily routine. If he has an overload of sugar, like one or two ice cream cones, his body reacts so severely that he wakes up at night, thrashing and in turmoil. Then the next day, clothes feel uncomfortable and then we’re late for school.

At this point, controlling our environment, and every single second of his life, is what I have to do in order for our lives to work. I monitor his food, his food intake, to make sure it’s healthy, nutritious and without preservatives. His clothes have to be soft and worn, his hair has to be short or it can cause us to spend an hour fighting it, and he has to do intense exercise every single day, which means swim practice daily (see pic above!) , trampoline jumping or rip stick riding.

Homework is another challenge, and so depending upon the day, it might or might not get done. If he’s uncomfortable, there is no use trying to hurry him up, because he’d react to that, so we have to decide.. what matters more.. him being late or him being comfortable and feeling loved? I choose love.

I can’t say I was always like that! For years, before I knew all of this about my son, I would rush him and hurry him and stress him out… and be completely stressed over the situation. I worried about him getting to school on time, about being respectful of others times, of him getting to say the pledge of allegiance and him not getting a tardy remark. I think of all of the upsets we have had over the years with me not figuring out what would work for HIM first and having everything else come second after him and his special needs.

At this point, we’ve suffered through many years of NOT knowing, that now I’m completely dedicated to helping OTHER families find these things out early so they won’t have to stress and struggle with knowing what to do on a daily basis.

So what about you? What matters most to you? Is it a certain project that you’re working on? If so, what are you doing on a daily basis to support that to happen? Is it your health? Are you committed to being healthy or losing weight? Are you doing everything in your power to support that every second of every day? Is it your children? Do you want them to be excellent students or top notch athletes?

In order for me to be strong enough mentally and physically to handle all of the demands that my personal life takes, I’ve had to move my own health up to a very high priority in my life. I have to feel good in order to handle these complications so they don’t stress me out so I don’t also loose control. And because I’ve done this, I’ve found that I’ve found that I have EXTRA strength, that allows me to be there for my son, for my family, and to give energy to the work that I’m doing and the cause that I’m dedicated to.

So the thought for the day, is to Focus on What Matters! And by clearing out the STUFF that gets in the way of what really matters, and focusing your heart and soul in that direction, and take care of yourself so you have the energy to do what it takes to get it all done, you’ll actually be more effective at doing all of the other stuff that needs to get done.

Amazing, simple, easy, but life changing concept!

Focus on What Matters!

Good Stuff - By Liimu

This past weekend, I spent with four of the most incredible women I have ever met. The Beyond the Stuff gals! Although we were together to solidify the foundation of a business we are jointly growing, what we achieved was beyond our wildest dreams - we developed a friendship with each other, a bond formed out of our shared hope that we might inspire others to become their best selves through our shared experience and ability to overcome hardship.

It was incredible. As I was driving to the airport, I was overcome with gratitude for where God has brought me in just under 2 years. Two years ago, I was trapped in a dead-end job, unable to sleep for the horrible nightmares that used to plague me when I closed my eyes, skin plagued with acne, never feeling like I was able to give enough to my family, to myself, to the world. Unsure of what my purpose was in life, other than to stay sober.

Over the past 18 months, I have received message after message from the Universe that I have a special gift to share with the world - my voice. Through singing, writing, speaking - I can carry the message that God can transform fear into faith, love and hope. That anyone can have a life worth living, a life of joy and freedom.

So there I was, driving up Route 17 and all of a sudden, tears of joy started falling down my cheeks and I was sobbing and laughing, wiping my eyes furiously so I wouldn't crash! I was singing Journey's "Faithfully" at the top of my lungs, realizing that I would be forever faithful to God, no matter what.

I don't consider myself to be a particularly religious person. In fact yesterday, I was talking to a pastor of a local church, telling him about the gospel CD I intend to record this year, about the book I fully expect will get published and will encourage others to live their lives out loud, about our upcoming talk show and how we hope to uplift people who are struggling more than they ever have in their lives in these uncertain times. All he kept asking me was, "What church do you belong to? What church do you belong to?" Well, I don't belong to a church. But I pray every day, all day. And I am part of a spiritual fellowship, through which I have been doing service to my community for years. I am one of the most faithful, devoted, God-centered people I know, but no, I don't belong to a church.

I belong to God.

Keeping Track of Stuff -- by Robin

I'm away on a business/pleasure trip and had been making a list for some time re: things to go before I left, things to pack, things to remember upon my return, etc.

Friends and others make "fun" of me...in a loving way...that I'm "so organized". It's funny. At times I actual wonder if I have a bit of an "anal" tendency, but then I decide it's not about that. Any, why put myself down for being detail-minded?

I create a system for myself, and it works most of the time.

My dad was over this past weekend, and saw me making notations already on a 2009 calendar. He commented that he doesn't do that. But, I have a 5 year old, I explained, and life can get busy. We do a lot of planning, and of course, things arise spontaneously as well. And, if for example, we get play tickets, you do purchase them in advance, and you sure don't want to forget when you are going, with the price of Broadway these days.

We booked my son's 5th birthday party for March and sent out the invitations this weekend. Yes...it was planning way ahead...but lots of kids party places get so booked up, it's crazy. And, one of my friends already asked me when his party would be because she was making some plans.

Interestingly, I then, received an email from one of the moms who said we'd likely to have to remind invitees in February. That people will lose the invitation, forget about the party, etc.

This same mom asked about my experiences having a Blackberry. She wondered if she should get one. If I have found it to be helpful organization-wise.

Now you may be thinking I'm an organization pro, but truly, that is not the case. I have tons of piles of paperwork in my office that in a perfect world would be neatly filed away. But, it's how I work, and while I dislike clutter, I put up with it.

But, when it comes to my "to do list", if I don't write it down, it doesn't happen. I have piles of post-it pads that I use regularly, and I am known to carry my hard-covered daily planner with me. That way, I am always prepared if something arises that I need to schedule.

My trainer at the gym can never remember when we reschedule an appointment. Frankly, it's irritating. Is it a crime to have some semblance of organization? And, if you run a business, don't you need to? So, she always asks me to call and remind her re: a workout time, if it has changed. But, why is that my job? To pick up the slack for her because she doesn't have a system of remembering?

My dad is a CPA, and I think I inherited his detail-minded mind. And, I'm proud of it.

How do you live your life and keep track of things?

Do you feel justified in putting your "stuff" on others and asking them to call or write to remind you of things?

I'm curious to know your story.

NOW is all You've Got! by Kelly K. Brown

Can you believe we are already at the end of another whole year? As I look back on my own Journey, 2008 flew by in a whirlwind of unprecedented change in just about every single area of my life, both personal and business, as well as to most every single person I know.

As you look back over this year, take a few moments to think about the topic of your most prevalent conversations---the major themes running behind most of your thoughts. What have they been about?

Foreclosures?
The Economy?
Government Bailout Programs?
The Election?
Speculation on Your Future?

Or maybe it was something else, such as paying bills, finding a job, wondering how your business (as you knew it) can survive in the economic wind of change we all just experienced and are currently experiencing.

As you think back to your conversations and thoughts over the past year, do any similar patterns come to mind? Does any ONE way of feeling stand out? i.e. were you mostly scared, worried, hopeful, angry, insightful, frustrated---or maybe even depressed?

In the world of normal things, most people (if the news is anything to go by) are feeling very negative--some would say with very good reason---and many are experiencing many other emotions that fall into the ‘negative’ category!

If you’ve been thinking and feeling that way, I have a question…

“So, How’s That Been Working For You?”

I ask with the most sincere, heartfelt intentions (as I also ask myself anytime I allow myself to wander off track from a positive mindset). Understand, I get the circumstances are all true---I know none of us are making this up---the economy that currently is… IS what is!

And here’s my point, ask yourself honestly…

Has talking about it, being worried about it, or losing sleep over it ever changed ANYTHING?

Probably not…at least not toward the good anyway! In fact, it is far more likely that the more you focused on it (what you don’t love about what happened this year economically) the more stuff happened, the more you saw it on the news, the more you read about it—some of you may have even found yourself popping up with various ailments and illnesses ‘totally out of the blue’. Consider this: “Will continuing to think and speak those same things in the same way will change anything as 2009 rolls around?”

Here’s the thing… all we have is this NOW moment! That’s really all we ever have---the past can’t be changed, the future is our hope, but definitely not our certainty as no one has the promise of the next breath, let alone tomorrow.

In reading and following my articles or blogs, you are already aware you aren’t your stuff, you aren’t what you have or lost, you aren’t what people say or think… none of that is WHO YOU TRULY ARE (imagine a 3-month terminal illness diagnosis and this will be abundantly clear in seconds)… so if all those things are true and NOW is all You’ve Got---wouldn’t it be just as easy to hope, believe, think and speak that things will somehow be okay, and that you will find a way regardless of the outer circumstances of the economy—no matter what actually happens?

Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not (“that which is like unto itself is drawn”), most everyone agrees with the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy---

“Think you can, think you can’t, either way you’re right”!

Are you beginning to see the intrinsic value for you and everyone around you that even while acknowledging in the briefest terms possible what is (the current economy), that a positive mindset, conversation, hope and belief can only bring good to you? Mentally, physically, relationally---everything works out better FOR YOU when you find ways to focus your intentions positively for today and tomorrow.

Does this mean you have THE answer to everything upfront, right this minute? Does this mean you KNOW what tomorrow will bring? “Do we ever?” is probably a much better question!

From my own extensive life experience, here’s what I know for sure!

Ø When faced with a 6-month life expectancy terminal illness diagnosis (within our family), a positive outlook, mindset and faith saved a life! (Yes, I plunked down $35k on a credit card IN ADVANCE of knowing the outcome or that a remission or cure was even possible!)

Ø When there was no money to cover a $14k per month medical treatment---focusing on what I wanted with a firm belief I would be taken care of no matter what---more than sufficient money arrived—and quite honestly there was, in the end, quite an abundance.

Ø When I was down to less than $6 thousand dollars at one point---with no job, no money and no prospects… an out-of-the blue miracle occurred and I was subsequently funded for almost 2 years.

Ø My parents house and every bill they had were paid off completely with money left over (along with cancer bills, surgery and treatment that had not yet occurred) when by miracle of miracles just a month prior to illness diagnosis, my Dad was put into a national restaurant chain commercial on television. No, he was not an actor of any kind before or since. Health Insurance was also provided- absolutely FREE!

I share these few instances (and there are so many more I could share), for no reason other than to inspire you. To give you a renewed confidence, that with faith, hope, a positive mindset and focused intentions on a positive outcome that you cannot yet see, let alone imagine, miracles do happen---and they can happen for YOU!

An idea that never before occurred to you will cross your mind, an opportunity from the craziest unknown place will surface suddenly or someone will introduce you to someone else who will forever change the course of your life. You know from your own past experience, this is exactly how it happens, right? Our current economy is not bigger than our world history, which tells us “things always get better”!

Does this mean that life is then forevermore perfect? No, my life is not yet perfect, but your NOW moments will FEEL better and better all the time (because you will be choosing your thoughts everyday). You will begin to have a strong inner confidence that ‘what is, is meant to be’ (i.e. you no longer fight reality), but you DO consciously focus on what you WANT in the midst of reality anyway!

As 2009 is right around the corner, Now Is All You’ve Got! Maybe NOW is the time to notice your patterns of thought and speech… your inner beliefs. Maybe NOW is the time to purposefully begin focusing your thoughts, speech and intentions on exactly What You Want! When would be a better time than NOW?

Dreaming Only of The Journey I Want…

Kelly K. Brown

The Fun Stuff that I Love! - by Mary

This is me doing my favorite sport- SWIMMING!!!

Me loving on a horsie!

So much of my life now is about working towards a completely healthy existence with my son, who has issues such as sensory processing disorder and ADHD. These things take a lot of my time and energy and have a lot to do with what I focus on… so I think I need a little reminder of another side to life.. and that is what is FUN! It’s so helpful to remember the OTHER sides of ourselves.. especially when we’re going through a very difficult time… so this exercise might be something that any of YOU might like to try.. if you feel you’re swimming up stream and not focusing on the fun in your life!

What about you.. have you written your list lately?
(This was me and my running buddies dressing up for the Jingle Mingle in Maitland, FL)

Here is my list of what I consider to be fun or things that I love!

I love being a bit out of the box, wacky and I love laughing loud!
I love to make other people laugh and I love to laugh when others are being funny!
I really enjoy spending time with good friends, shooting the breeze and acting silly.
I love to dress up and I have a ton of Halloween costumes, wigs and outfits that I drag out at all times of the year.. just for kicks!
I love to be around horses, and outside in nature!
I love shopping in flea markets, and second hand stores.. to see what bargins I can find.
I love writing.. it nurtures my soul. I have kept a journal since I was 12!
I enjoy live sports – Auburn football is my favorite!
I really enjoy reading a good book on a rainy day. And I love bookstores!
I love building a fire in the fireplace, and creating a cozy home environment!
I love texting, emailing and staying connected to friends- old and new!
I love France! I want to learn how to speak French and I love to hear others speak it!
I think it’s fun being a part of a large family – and feeling like I belong!
I think it’s awesome, fun and rewarding to have friends of other cultures that are different from mine.

(This is Scott... AKA Carrottop! He lives part time in Winter Park!)

I think coaching, interviewing or hanging with celebrities is fun. Celebrities.. are just fun to know!!!

I love coaching – the whole process of coaching is fun to me. I love seeing a person hit a discovery or realize something new that potentially can better his or her life!
I think dogs are cool. They’re so open, and generous and loving. I like to feel their energy and imagine what they’re saying. I think I can read their feelings pretty well.
I think it’s fun using intuition. I’m pretty good at it.
I think being a swimmer is great. I like to feel powerful in the water, and be able to swim butterfly well. Flying across the pool is a cool sensation! (SEE PIX ABOVE)

I think it’s fun to dress up and to look pretty. I enjoy looking and feeling good.
I think odd or different people are cool. I really get into their particular interests.. and how they got that way. I love all sorts of people.. old young, and I have quite a few eccentric friends. I’m accepting of however a person chooses to be.. I will probably ask why.. and be curious about them.
I think being around artists is fun. I love that they can create something in their minds first.. and then it comes out in their craft.
I think baking is fun. Okay.. I really just like to eat the sweets!
I think it’s fun that I can be “one of the guys”… or “one of the gals”.. I can easily fit in anywhere.. and I love that.
I think conferences are fun. I love learning and I love meeting new people!
I think doing live TV is GREAT! I love being on the spot and having to banter and match wits and HAVE to be “on”. I love it!
I think traveling is the most incredible. I love meeting people on planes, and in airports. I love seeing new cities and experiencing new places.
I think photography is fun. I’m not always that great at it.. but I like to try.
I think kids are fun. They speak their minds, don’t play head games and they know how to laugh freely!
I think being a mom is fun.. okay.. not always.. but sometimes! I like to create fun memories for my son.. and for his friends.. like cookie decorating parties, and pirate parties.. and crawling in the forts after they make them!
I think wine, coffee and tea are fun. Depending upon my mood.. I like them all!
I think building sandcastles are fun. I like to make mermaids, animals, and life size attractions.. for people walking on the beach to enjoy.
I think Disney World is fun. It’s a clean activity and great to go with friends!
I love walking on the beach.. and talking or just watching the people.
I think people watching at airports is a blast. I like guessing about the lives of the people who walk by. Charlotte airport is a terrific place to do that.. sitting in the white rocking chairs is the best place!
I think being pampered is wonderful! Nails, hair, massages.. all of that.. makes a person feel great.. and special!
Writing this blog was fun.. it makes me not feel like I’m stuck in life.. and that I have choices.. and can make things FUN.. or average.

I choose fun!

A Different Approach to Thanksgiving - Good Stuff! - by Liimu McGill

This year, I decided to really pay attention to how I was feeling as invitations were flying around for Thanksgiving. My family is pretty spread out; I have one sister who lives 10 minutes away, and she had already committed to spending the holiday hosting her husband's 15-plus family members up from Virginia. My goal in any situation is to just let the Universe guide and direct how things go. That's how things usually end up turning out according the best Plan, the Divine Plan. So, that's what I went with this year.

My mother, who lives in North Carolina, usually comes up a couple weeks before or after Thanksgiving, to avoid having to pay the astronomical fares reserved for the holiday week. This year, she was scheduled to come up in early November, until she found out she had perforated her eardrum. She was nervous about flying and decided that she would come up for Thanksgiving, after all. Since my sister was hosting so much of her husband's family already, I offered to host and invited my mother-in-law and sister-in-law to join us. At the last minute, my mother got the green light from her doctor to fly up earlier in November, as planned, so I was left with hosting Thanksgiving, even though I had originally not intended to. I'm not yet at the place where I enjoy cooking, and I don't have others to help me, as my sister-in-law and mother-in-law usually arrive right in time for dinner.

Mentally checking it off my To Do list, I went to Whole Foods and pretty much ordered one of everything. Still, I dreaded even having to heat it up. I don't know where this Bah Humbug-ness was coming from, but I was keenly aware of it bubbling up every time I thought of the holiday that was materializing. I have Stuff - Stuff around food, Stuff around holidays, Stuff around having a To Do list packed with way to many things To Do in any given day. So, when the thought was planted in my head by the Universe that maybe this wasn't the way the Holiday had to go, I was all ears.

"Maybe you could just go OUT to dinner..."

Whoa. What's that? Now that's an interesting proposition. While I was ruminating on the possibility, my sister-in-law called to say that her mom had taken ill and probably wouldn't be up to coming for dinner. "What would you say to going out for dinner?" I asked her. "Sounds good to me," she replied, without hesitating. My husband had essentially the same reaction.

After a quick scan of the Internet to find the best kid-friendly restaurant in Philadelphia, Bridget Foy's, we were set with a reservation for 6 at 5:30. The girls got new dresses, we all got to eat wonderful food (and didn't have to worry about cooking it or cleaning up) and I am back on my abstinent food plan, skyrocketing toward my goal of losing 45 pounds by my next birthday. (See my Recreating Liimu blog for more information about that journey.)

Last night, as my husband and I were putting away the groceries, he said to me, "You know, this was a perfect holiday. We saw my family for a little bit, saw your family for a little bit, but really didn't overdo it. It was great."

My thoughts exactly.

Holiday Stuff - by Robin Gorman Newman

(me and my dad)

The holidays always bring up "stuff" for me. Starting with Thanksgiving until New Year's.

My beloved mom passed away 1/3/98, and it's never been the same without her. Hard to believe it will be over 10 years in 2009 since she is gone.

Growing up as a kid, my mom would spend considerable time preparing holiday meals. I'm not sure, quite honestly, if she loved cooking, but it was tradition. And, it's a memory I'll forever preserve.

I remember well her stuffing. She made it with matzoh, which always felt like it was her secret ingredient. And, she had a "famous" pumpkin bread. My husband has since assumed the tradition of making it, and it means a great deal to me. He has taken certain creative liberties with it, and mixes up the types of chocolate chips used. Dark, milk and white. One year he even baked it with M&Ms, and my mom would have been proud to see him paying tribute to her in such a festive way.

Earlier this week, my husband baked a bunch of loaves...he brought one to work...and gave others to my dad, who is so grateful. My son helped by tossing the chips into the batter...munching on a few as he went along. He was so sweet, literally, to see them team up. It was as of my mom was looking down on them and smiling.

One of the challenges I face with the holidays is the emotional "stuff" it brings up for me due to the loss of my mom. And, on top of that, my sister and her family are away for Thanksgiving, and my husband's brother and his family made plans with friends, so I don't feel enveloped by those I grew up with, other than my dad. So, we'll have a low key celebration here with my father and Marc's mother (his dad passed away).

I have to admit, though, that I do get some pangs of jealousy when I hear of others having major family gatherings. I wonder what that is like. Do they take it for granted? Do they enjoy, or is it a chore to them? Does it feel special?

I don't have any cousins, aunts, etc. sadly, who I am close with. So, inviting extended family is not a viable or appealing option.

One of my friends said to me that I should work on creating new tradition. So, I reached out to one friend to see what they are doing for the holiday, and they, too, are going away. Others already have commitments, and I don't feel inclined to have just anyone over for the sake of it. It is a lot of work...all the setup, preparation, etc.

But, I do endeavor to get together with friends in the future for celebrations. I've always thought it would be so nice to be invited somewhere, but that doesn't often happen. My sister never makes a holiday (or birthday) meal (it's not her thing to have people over), and my brother and sister in law are often away with their three kids since they play sports. They have invited us for the Jewish holidays in the past.

So, I try to be strong, and not let all my sentimental "stuff" get the better of me this time of the year. It can be bittersweet, but I'm grateful to have my own family and to create memories for my son that he will always cherish, as I did growing up.

Do you find that the holidays open wounds for you? How do you deal with it? Do you endeavor to create new tradition for yourself and/or your family?

One of the things I love most about life is my ability to just be thankful and grateful for most everything, everyone and every experience I’m lucky enough to live… and then WITH some effort, every other single thing in life that may not seem so ‘yummy’ at first glance!

As today is America’s Day of Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for and I genuinely LOVE focusing on those things for which I am so grateful, my thoughts today are simply about that… Love and Thankfulness!

For the past two to three weeks, the topic of love has come to my attention, over and over again in many different ways: from the songs I find I’m singing when I first open my eyes in the morning, to thoughts of friends I love, my home, the crazy love affair I experience with nature every day, to the sky and the incredibly ever fascinating white clouds…

I find that no matter where I’m at or who I’m with, in short order, I’m smiling and gushing some form of love of this, or like of that and aren’t we lucky the sky is so blue… and for my personal day of Thanksgiving I thought it would be nice to share some of this gratitude life (how I live it) with you. It always starts with some simple ‘What I loves’… like:

What I love about waking up each day…

If there is one thing in the world I love… it is waking up in my most wonderful and fantastic bed… it’s not really anything super special… it’s just very peaceful and provides me with the best sleep I’ve ever had… EVER.

There is almost always a smile on my face and a song in my heart—typically a song of love for me, the world and others who ALL need love so desperately. From the moment I open my eyes, my thoughts wander to how I can extend this endless love that flows out of me to someone else… it is nearly incurable this feeling of wanting to literally ‘love on every person in the world’ one by one or millions by millions as the universe creates the way for me to do so! I LOVE waking up!

What I love about music…

Besides that music is what allows me to express my physical passion in dance (and oh how I LOVE to dance)… my other great love of music is how the words make me feel. Recently, some really old songs… from literally out of no where popped into my consciousness and I find myself singing them… singing wonderful songs of love, sharing love, helping people… the one I woke with today comes as no surprise…

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes, you will

That you're beautiful as you feel

Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing

I've got nothing to do but watch the passers-by

Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing

And they don't see it showing, why do I?

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes, you will

That you're beautiful as you feel

I have often asked myself the reason for sadness

In a world where tears are just a lullaby

If there's any answer, maybe love can end the madness

Maybe not, oh, but we can only try

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes, you will

That you're beautiful as you feel

--Beautiful by Carole King

As my ability to be grateful and thankful for most everything and everyone abounds… the words of songs like this one have such special meaning for me!

As I go about the business of life, what I notice most is how the majority of people in the world just need a little love, a small kindness, an easy word of encouragement… and what do you get back for such small effort? People literally light up! They smile and you can SEE the change in their body language, a renewed zest for life shows on their face and a new pep in their step is obvious as they walk away. Ahhhhhhhhh…I LIVE my entire life for moments such as these, and they can happen anywhere with anyone at anytime from Walmart and the mall to any place you go or conduct business.

But HOW do YOU get there to begin this chain reaction of love into the world? "Come on Kelly, really, the economy is bad, life is changing, we are all filled with uncertainty, and wouldn’t it just be fake to pretend such joyfulness?" Yes, it would and while I think faking it could be one way to get there, I have a solution that is far easier and much more productive!

Just begin today while thankfulness and gratitude are already the order of the day and consciously on your mind.

TODAY, decide you will continue this one thing EVERY DAY for the rest of your life, and you’ll do it with simple easy steps such as:

When stuck in traffic, you will turn on your favorite songs and get so caught up in the music you love, you’ll not only forget the traffic jam… you’ll wish it was longer so you could hear the end of your favorite cd.

As you begin to look around, you’ll find small things to be thankful for everywhere, in everyone, in every situation… a sour teller at the bank might be someone you could jot a thankful note to on paper and leave as you depart (imagine how that feels?)… when things aren’t going your way, you could think of other times when things didn’t go the way you planned and they worked out EVEN BETTER… and then believe that this, too, will be that way!

It takes no more effort to choose to think and focus positively than it does your habitual ‘negative thought first’ patterns we’ve all learned and become accustomed to in life.

It simply takes practice.

Choosing to get up every single day with a smile on your face… planning (Yes… plan it out) that you are going to show the world all the love in your heart (no matter what they do or don’t do, say or don’t say). Yes, as the song says, 'people are gonna treat you better', but you know what? The song left out the most important part of all…

You are gonna treat YOU better! You are going to find that a consistent attitude of thankfulness and gratitude begins a seed of self-love inside you that no other love can equal. You are going to start seeing blessings where before you saw struggle, you are going to see love where you saw hate, you will see opportunity where you previously saw dissension, and in a very short period of time everything (YES EVERYTHING!) in your life is going to change--for the better!--right before your eyes!

How do I know this? I live it! Thanksgiving is THE pathway to true and lasting Inner Love and Peace. And that is what I truly wish for you and every other person I meet!

I guess it all boils down to this song I woke to a few days ago:

What the world needs now,

Is love, sweet love,

It's the only thing that there's just too little of.

What the world needs now,

Is love, sweet love,

No, not just for some but for everyone.

-Jackie DeShannon

People need inner self love, and they need love and understanding from other people, and ALL of it can easily be achieved by first starting with a mindset to live with gratitude and thankfulness moment by present moment!

As you may have guessed, my heart is overflowing with joy and gratitude this Thanksgiving Day for YOU, all the above, and much, much more!

Today I wish for YOU…

A day filled with gratitude,

a heart filled with joy,

a smile that brightens the world,

and all the love I can send your way!

Happy, Happy Thanksgiving!

Kelly :-)

The Stuff of Athletes

For many years, I have had a head FULL of Stuff related to losing weight, body image, dieting, self-loathing, you name it. Not any longer.

When I was younger, I was that girl in gym class who always got picked last for every team. 20 minutes into class, there I'd be, me and some other awkward, visibly NOT athletic kid would be standing, silently praying to either get picked next (at least I wasn't picked last) or spontaneously burst into flames.

Flash forward 25 years and I have redefined myself as an athlete. In 2005, I began the year wanting to run a 10K, but secretly adding to my very own Bucket List that I wanted to run a marathon before I kicked it. By the end of the year, after hours of planning and many, many miles of running, I had run the Philadelphia Marathon in just under 5 and a half hours (no walking, no stopping - except once to hit the port-a-potty at around mile 12). That experience was a huge turning point. It was the point I got Beyond My Stuff around being overweight, or unattractive, or old, or a girl. It was the point I released all those limiting labels and became ... an "elite athlete.' (Seriously - that's what it said on my Marathon Certificate.)

Once I had the label, elite athlete, I didn't want to let go of it. I made the decison that every year, I would run the 10-mile Broad Street Run in the Spring and a half-marathon in the Fall. That's what brings me to where I am today, laying in bed, blogging about the fact that at approximately 9:30 this morning, in biting 25 degree winds, I was running across the finish line of the Philadelphia Half Marathon, in just under 2.5 hours. This was my goal, and it was 10 minutes faster than the first half-marathon I completed, three years ago.

Last night at the Expo, as I picked up my race packet (noting with a smirk that they still assume that of the two of us, my 6'2", 230 pound husband must be the one running the race), I walked with a little more strut in my Stuff, knowing that this is no longer a big deal for me, it is a tradition.

No matter what the scale says (and it happens to be pretty darn close to the 160s, I might add), I am an athlete. I fuel my body in a way that allows my body to function at maximum efficiency, and I strive to let go of excess fat so that I can perform better, not so that I'll turn an extra head or two (although I fully intend to do that, also). I order my race shirts in Medium, not Extra Large, because I'm now a regular-sized, fit, toned athlete.

People Stuff -- by Robin Gorman Newman

(My son Seth (the blond) and a good friend of his.)


I'm a bit embarassed to share this experience with you, yet feel compelled to do so.

I am an email junkie. I admit it. I spend many hours/day at my computer (for better or worse), and then have a Blackberry at my constant disposal during my travels.

Yesterday, in my haste, I accidentally hit the wrong email address key. I knew it immediately after I sent it. It's everyone's email nightmare. Something didn't feel right, so I checked my sent box....and sure enough. A note that was meant for my husband got sent to the very person I was writing about....and what I said wasn't the most flattering. What is the likelihood of that? Both their email addresses start with "m"...but still...I can only surmise it was meant to be to perhaps clear the air.

What I wrote wasn't awful...just awkward. It had to do with tickets to Disney on Ice that I was looking to offer moms in MotherhoodLater.com, but since there weren't any takers, I was contemplating offering them to friends in New York or New Jersey. I wrote to my husband asking his opinion about how to handle it and what friends I might offer it to. And, then I mentioned this particular person who is the mom of one of my son's close friends in Kindergarten. And, I wrote "not that she's the greatest friend."

Truth is...I wrote the truth. She isn't. I was being honest. But, did I want her to know I was thinking that? Did she need to read that?

So, I quickly called her up...she had actually coincidentally left a message earlier in the day re: my son's school, but I missed the call. Since she didn't answer her cell or home phone, I decided to respond further via email. I felt the need to nip the situation in the bud.

I wrote her a note offering her the Disney tickets and apologized for my reference in the email, explaining it was sent in error to her. But, then I also went on to say that in fact, I was disappointed and had hoped we could become real friends, but that I was let down when on more than one occasion she told us that she and her son were busy, yet she went on to make plans with other moms. I knew this because we ran into her at a couple of events, and another mutual mom of a child in my son's class mentioned that she had heard from her. This was hurtful to me.

We spoke briefly this morning and she said she wouldn't be taking the tickets, and she didn't reference the email. She is supposed to call me back later to see if a cousin of hers would like the tickets, and I'm curious to see if she will then bring up my comment. I'm not holding my breath.

This all got me thinking. On one hand I felt badly. On the other hand, I was happy for my candor with her.

A friend of mine at the gym, who I shared the situation with, said that when her kids were little, she didn't try to befriend moms on a personal level for herself. She pretty much kept it to scheduling playdates for her girls and being cordial to the moms.

This is hard for me. I'm not a superficial person, though I'm quickly realizing you can't be friends with everyone.

And, this further got me contemplating the notion of "people stuff."

It's so easy to clutter up your life with possessions, negative thoughts, etc...but what about people? There's only so many hours in the day to maintain real, meaningful relationships, and this holds true for both friends and family. I am totally open to attracting new cool people, but you have to make room.

In the last few months or more, a few friendships have diminished, and we're no longer in touch. It was hard to accept at first, but then I realized that as people grow and change, so does the law of attraction. It can be hard to let go, especially when there is history between you, but people's needs change. Schedules change. And, we can't always be there as we once were, and if someone isn't accepting of that, then the friendship might not really serve either of you anymore. Maybe someone was used to your playing a certain role for them...perhaps as an enabler...for example. And, what if it's now occurred to you that that was largely the basis of your connection, and you don't want to go there anymore? Then, it's understandable that you might have to let go. And, it could be for both of your ultimate gain, though at the moment, it might not feel that way.

I share all this because it takes courage to let go, and faith to know that new people will come into your life if you invite them. Maybe not immediately, but when they're meant to. And, this holds true whether for friends or romantic partners. (I work as a love coach for singles, so I know this has been the case for clients of mine.)

Have you had friends come 'n go in your life that you didn't expect? How did it feel to let them go, whether it was mutual or not?

Give your Family the Gift of Time

by Mary Gardner

This week I received an amazing gift. It made my heart happy and when I said thank you it was genuine and enthusiastic! The person who gave it to me quickly shared everything about the gift and was just as excited that she was able to give it to me!

What was it?

Not a “traditional” type of gift, but the best kind of gift for a mom who has had a child who is a bit high maintenance at school every day!

It was a note from my son’s Language Arts teacher who told me that my son had a really great day the day before, and was focused, attentive, quiet and read his work really well.

We both were ebullient when talking about the change in my son, and she suggested that whatever we had done that morning, was WORKING! It was a Monday morning that he had the great success and I explained to her that on Sunday, we didn’t do ANYTHING all day long. Jeremy never even got dressed and we just laid around the house all day long and built a fire in the fireplace, I cooked from sun up to sun down, had delicious aromas floating through the house, and my husband, me and Jeremy just enjoyed being at home, and relaxed like most of us never get to do. We watched a little TV, but just a movie at night, while my husband went to church for all of us. I felt it best to keep Jeremy home since the day before he went to the beach and crabbing with our friend Bruce and his two kids and came home very, very content, but had a scratchy voice, which because he loved the sound of it, he kept talking more and more and more!

Most of our week is scheduled down to the minute. I pick up Jeremy by bike from school at 3 in the afternoon, then we race home and have a snack and get his homework done. Then we ride our bikes to the YMCA and he has swim practice for an hour and I work out. Then we go home and I cook dinner, then we either do more homework or play a family game like dominos and then we do the bed time routine. That can take a while of course, because he always likes to get another snack and prolong it as much as possible!

When Friday comes, we don’t have swim practice, so we do “Fun Friday”, which means visit friends, go to Disney World, or hang out at the park with other families. Saturday is usually swim meet day, and chores, and then Sunday morning we go to Church and Jeremy has religious education. There aren’t many days where we do absolutely nothing and enjoy it.

Truth be told, I worked my tail off that day, cooking and cleaning and keeping the fire lit and doing laundry, but it was all at home and we weren’t on any schedule and I was able to make a beautiful, restful and peaceful home for my family. … the kind I always loved when I was a kid.

Little did I know how hard my parents were working to give me that amazing and so oh so needed rest!!

Having a “down” day was exactly what we all needed to give us that boost that we needed to start the week. When the body is tired, it doesn’t function well, and the better it’s rested, the more productive we can be.

Perhaps all of us now need to take a pause, and to readjust our schedules. Perhaps rather than running all of our side businesses, keeping up with the Jones, running here and there and everywhere to try to get it all done, perhaps we should all just take a rest every week and do nothing. Put on some classical music, light a fire in the fireplace or put on some candles to set the atmosphere, and break out the family games.

The rest and the comfort of doing nothing, will probably give you the extra strength to manage the stress that comes along whether you want it to or not, and will probably be exactly what you and your family needs, during this difficult and down economy.